“Her whole existence is a lie, and I will stand by that,” Evelyn says in the opening scene of this week’s Basketball Wives. It’s the final episode of the season, the two reunion shows notwithstanding, and the Jennifer-Evelyn saga has book-ended the craziest season thus far. We started all those weeks ago back in New York with Evelyn telling Tami that discussing Jennifer’s indiscretions was like beating a lil’ horse, dead in the street, girl. And yet here we are, fifteen weeks later, beating the horse still. And when we weren’t beating the horse, we were at the racetrack beating each other. Full circle, y’all. And yet, speaking of circles, this one had disintegrated entirely.
So we’re no longer in New York, nor are we in Miami, we’re halfway across the world in Tahiti, and one cast member has already been exiled from the island (Kesha), another (Royce), chose not to be a part of this drama, and still another (Kenya) has already worked out the semantic details regarding the word “loose” with Evelyn. So the only thing left to do on this island paradise is hash to try an hash out what we’ve been trying to do for months, have an adult conversation about the state of a relationship, and that still couldn’t happen.
So while Evelyn is pacing around outside talking about Jennifer’s fakeness, Shaunie goes in to talk to Jennifer, whose interviews with the press, publicist-penned blogs, and Tweets have caused her lose the faith and respect of her friends because she’s been talking s—.
Shaunie tells her “You can’t tweet things that can be taken disrespectfully!” and when the camera pulls back, we see that Jennifer was literally interrupted by Shaunie while on the computer. Was she in mid-Tweet?
Probably! That’s why she was like, Shaunie, whatevs. All Shaunie wants is for a nice conversation, because she is tired of all this, as we all are, but Jen’s not up for it.
“We could throw dirt all day long, but you don’t wanna do that. I’m not perfect, but b—h, you far from perfect, too,” Jennifer says. And apparently Evelyn has more dirt on Jennifer than we ever knew, and whatever it was that happened in Vegas would have given The Hangover a run for its money.
But when we cut to Evelyn outside, we see that she’s not in mud-slinging mode, she’s actually crying because she’s in a state of mourning for her friendship. She’s hurting bad.
“I have a feeling this is gonna get uglier,” Shaunie says when she reports back to Evelyn that Jennifer is in no mood to talk, but eventually she will, one on one, so that Evelyn can’t air her dirty laundry out in public.
The next day, Jennifer finally emerges from hiding/stealth-Tweeting to approach the girls. Is it just me, or was there some knock-off Darth Vader entrance music used for this scene?
“Let me just see them and get it over with,” Jennifer tells us. That’s a nice way to say you’re going to chat with your friends on this show. Evelyn can feel the tension and is annoyed that this talk couldn’t have happened yesterday.
“Do you realize that you’re really the start of all this?” Evelyn asks Jennifer. “The start of what?” Jen asks blindly. Oyyy. ALL this, Jennifer. ALL THIS. Fifteen weeks of catfights!
“You are the reason why our friendship is where it’s at and everything that’s going on, all the drama, all the s— with Nia, after the slap or whatever happened,” Ev says. [Ed. Note: You had it right, it was a slap, not a whatever.] “You go and do another interview.”
The issue here is that Jennifer allegedly did an interview with a magazine, of which Tami has the transcript for some reason, but Jennifer denies doing it. “I had a conversation with [the editor], at no point was I doing an interview,” Jen says. (And if you follow these women online at all, you’ll know that that “interview” has since been taken down, so just to give Jennifer the benefit of the doubt, it sounds like it may not have been officially on the record after all.)
Evelyn is still annoyed by the “We don’t date the same type of guys” comment though, and here’s where she shows what tricks she has up her sleeve. “I know the real, and Suzie knows the real, ’cause Suzie was there,” Evelyn tells Jennifer, and refers to the trip in Las Vegas where apparently everyone slept with everyone.And the guys Ev and Jen slept with must have been the same type of guy, hence why Evelyn takes such offense to that statement. Maybe they were twins and therefor the EXACT same type of guy?
“I took blame for a bunch of stuff, I covered the whole Vegas thing,” Ev says.
“I’m not ashamed of anything that I’ve done,” Jen says. “I’m not worried about your vagina, I’m worried about mine.”
But Evelyn begs to differ and mentions the unsafe practices that Jen engaged in in Vegas that would make any health teacher shake their head.
“We all got skeletons,” Jen says. “Your ass got a whole cemetery. So leave me the hell alone.”
But no one is leaving her alone, because Tami lays into her even more about not taking responsibility for anything she’s ever done, and for staying in her room and avoiding them all. Jennifer can’t win at all. “Everybody’s said what they needed to say, there’s nothing left to talk about. The reality is, you are the new non-mother-f—ing factor here.”
“I don’t think Jennifer’s ever going to get it,” she continues, as Jen walks away from the group, and away from Tahiti. She rounds up Kenya ad off they go, back to Miami.
More heartbreaking than anything is the fact that Kenya left before ever mentioning the fish prank or giving anyone the satisfaction of knowing that her room smelled like death. Even though Jen and Kenya tried to make a stealthy exit, Suzie, OF COURSE, sees them from her perch in the pool,
and at dinner that night, she reports back dutifully that they pair actually left.
Tami can’t believe it,
and because of Jen’s slipping out and her previous indiscretions that have been wearing on Tami, she says she’s lost some respect for Jen.
At dinner, Evelyn gives the remaining women presents (a full color palette from the new makeup line “E” By Evelyn Lozada, of course) with personal notes meant to express her gratitude and respect for them and finally this show becomes a love-fest. FINALLY! Although after receiving hers, Tami still takes another dig at Jennifer’s lip gloss line just to get it in there.
Back in Miami, Royce and Tami meet up to talk Tahiti, because Royce has heard about what went on with Kesha and she’s feeling a little defensive of her new friend. So even after she gets Tami’s side, she continues to defend Kesha, and Tami doesn’t appreciate it. “I don’t have time for a friend of mine to chastise me and dictate what I should be saying in this situation and not acknowledge what the other person is doing,” Tami says. When Tami goes back to Shaunie and Evelyn, she tells them more bluntly that her friendship with Royce is over. “F— Royce.” Ok, then.
In the final scene of the season, we’re privy to something we never expected: a session, almost a therapy session, really, between Shanie and her pastor. Shaunie is the creator of this show, and therefore feels a little responsible for what’s gone on over the course of the season between Jen and Evelyn.
A relationship has ended, but Shaunie’s conscience is also suffering, and it makes her wonder if she can really be a party to this anymore. “Is it worth walking away from?” he asks her.
“I have really considered walking away,” Shaunie says. “At this point I can no longer defend it.” The choice is in her hands now.