T.I. has happened upon quite the gruesome scene in his own kitchen. As he walks in for breakfast, he sees his brood chowing on candy, donuts, and sugar cereals and can’t believe the diabetes-fest that’s going on before his very eyes. “Where are the fruits and vegetables?” he asks. To which Domani responds “Froot Loops!” Nope, that’s not going to cut it. “We’re going to have to fix that asap,” he says.
T.I. goes on a little rant to the family, telling them facts and figures about diabetes and obesity rates in African-Americans, (all hilariously punctuated by Shekinah, Tiny, and Tip’s mom munching on Skittles throughout his speech) and that he’s taking away the junk food and implementing the Harris Family Fitness Challenge. And since she’s in the room at the time, Shekinah will be part of the challenge too, even though she protests the entire concept. “I feel sorry for y’all kids if they have to be working out with you,” she says. She’d rather go the lipo route than the gym route to attain a svelte physique.
Shekinah only becomes receptive to the idea when Tip puts money on it and challenges her to try and beat Tiny to see which of them is in the best shape. That’s a challenge she will gladly accept.
The first step in the Fitness Challenge is “run till you can’t count no more.” Tip laps his kids a few times and has them running all over the property, but pretty soon after they start, Major and King give up. “Man, I have a cramp!” King whines.
“Tired? After just one lap? This is just the beginning. Toughen up. Let’s get it!” Tip says. Next up, squats.
After that, another lap around the house.
For the first time since this show came on TV, I’m glad I’m not part of this family.
Tiny and Shekinah are also holding up their part of the deal and hit the gym with two of their friends to see who can win that thousand dollars. Before they can start their workout, Shekinah needs her smoothie, so that’s priority.
When they head to the cardio machines, Tiny is surprised to see her husband working out, because that means he’s about to make their workout a whole lot more intense.
“Only Shekinah would bring a strawberry milkshake to a workout,” Tip the Trainer says. He turns the speed up on all the ladies’ treadmills and watches them pant as they go. “I didn’t come here to sweat today!” Tiny yells.
Eventually, they all fall off their treadmills and need a minute.
“They may think I’m being tough on them, but I’m doing this for them. I look good already,” Trainer Tip says.
Sit ups were the last straw for Shekinah, though. She’s not don with Tip’s workouts, so she decides that the easier, less painful route to weight loss is colon cleansing. Tiny has second thoughts, so she lets Shekinah go first. Judging from her screams, it’s not doing anything to convince Tiny to get one herself. When the technician tells Shekinah to relax, Tiny’s not buying it.
And Shekinah’s pretty surprised by how it all works too. When she sees the tubes they use, she’s not happy.
“Wait a minute. This is a big ass piece going up in your bootyhole…My butt is a virgin.”
“Right now a few sit ups ain’t looking too bad!” Tiny says.
After a week of training, Tip brings the family to the track to conduct the Presidential Fitness Challenge, and memories of elementary school gym class flood back to me. I was so good at the sit and reach. The kids go through a battery of tests, from the shuttle run to sit ups to push ups.
The kids have proven that they worked hard all week and are physically fit enough to be called Harrises. And after they’re totally done with the test, Shekinah saunters in to tell everyone she forfeits in the challenge against Tiny.
Kinda sounds like her colon isn’t done cleansing itself.
The thousand bucks that was on the line, it has been determined, will go to the kids. That arrangement gets no arguments from anyone.