Basketball Wives L.A. – Episode 7 – It’s Not Funny Anymore


Jackie's Tennis Shoes Basketball Wives
On Basketball Wives L.A., you can never tell where the ladies’ allegiances fully lie or who’s still feeling out who. And it’s hard to believe that Brooke and Bambi, up to this point, haven’t even shared screen time. Will this week’s episode clear up any of those allegiances or forge new friendships? Erm…no. But you know that when someone pulls out their tennis shoes, business is about to get started.

Draya, Malaysia and Brooke get together. Draya doesn’t want to be a part of any drama between Brooke and Bambi, nor does Malaysia, and they want the two women to work out whatever differences they have because, if you recall, Bambi and Brooke were once both associated with the same guy. Why this ancient history still matters is beyond me, but it’s creating tension.

When Malaysia touches on the Jackie situation, Draya immediately tells her she’s over Jackie completely and has no plans to reunite in any way, shape or form with that woman. “That answers my question — you ain’t coming to the wedding!” Malaysia says. And then Draya says the thing many of us have been thinking this whole time about Jackie and Doug’s gay-themed wedding “Honestly, I think she’s making a mockery of the gays. You’re getting a straight marriage in front of people who would love to be married to each other but can’t? That’s a slap in the face.”

Malaysia’s problem with Jackie is different. “I feel like Jackie’s a pimp because she used me to get Bambi in the door and then she’s like, okay, I got her by my side now let me get on the next chick.” But Malaysia’s reconsidered her position from last week and she says now that she doesn’t plan to skip the wedding outright, but she does plan to have girl talk with Jackie about why she’s upset with her at the rehearsal.

Speaking of the rehearsal…Jackie and her family meet at the club to set up for the rehearsal and the woman is in frazzled panic mode. Her daughter Chantel is there, though, which makes her happy, and so is this huge No H8 gay rights poster:

If only Draya could be there to see it.

While Jackie paces and wonders where her wedding party is, 2/3 of them walk in.

But it’s time for Malaysia to air out her grievances. She tells Jackie that being a part of the wedding party that includes Bambi feels cheap since Jackie barely knows Bambi. “It feels like it’s just not important,” Malaysia tells Jackie. And what’s Jackie to do but start crying? “Please don’t think I didn’t want you here,” she tells Malaysia. “I’m overjoyed right now.” And not only is she overjoyed, but she would take a bullet for Malaysia, that’s how much she adores her.

But that too is a problem for Malaysia. “You adore everybody. It’s weird. It’s kinda creepy,” Malaysia says. But Malaysia accepts the apology, with a caveat. “I think she got it, but I thought she got it the last time I said it to her. So she’s on her second one, guys. And three strikes, you’re out.”

The question still lingers as to whether or not Laura will be there though. It looks like she ditched the rehearsal, and as Babmi puts it, “It’s still a big-ass ‘if'” if she’s coming. That bothers Bambi a lot, she doesn’t respect that Laura would bail on a wedding for her so-called friend, and Bambi doesn’t know if that’s the type of person she wants to get down with. Especially after the comments about not caring whether or not Jackie died. Even Malaysia took issue with that. As they talk about Laura and whether or not she’s loyal or she’s sneaky with her words, guess who walks in.

Without wasting a second (in order to not cover up that they were just talking about her, of course), Bambi tells Laura exactly what she’s feeling, that she thinks Laura even says sneaky stuff about her when she walks out of the room, that it’s not just limited to Laura talking about Jackie. And Laura denies it all, saying that anything she says about a person, she says to their face.

“I’m like, wait a minute. We’ve met maybe three times,” Laura says. “First, get to know somebody.” But Bambi takes Laura’s explanation and feels that it’s acceptable, so for now they’re cool. For now.

When it’s time for the actual wedding, Laura has another surprise up her sleeve, and it’s a doozie.

“I didn’t tell anyone how I was gonna come to the wedding. I wanted to just dress in drag and have a good time.”

Jackie is happy to have Laura there but she’s not sure what to make of the outfit. “I didn’t know whether to laugh or be mad,” Jackie says.

(Check out more exclusive photos of Jackie and Doug’s wedding right here.)

But then again, she can’t judge too harshly because this is a woman who pulls up her dress immediately after the ceremony to show Doug her pride tattoo.

In case you’re wondering how it might be that Doug hasn’t seen the tattoo before, Jackie explains that for thirty days before their weddings, they aren’t “intimate” so she was able to keep it a secret.

For the rest of the night, everyone laughs, celebrates, and dances. Some people dance quite closely.

Laura puts an end to that by saying “I can’t have your meat beatin’ my back. This is not appropriate.”

Jackie’s having a fantastic time herself, but she freaks out when Laura tells her “Draya’s here.” “My heart stopped,” Jackie says as she scans the room, and for a moment she believes that her nemesis has shown her face, until Laura tells her “Just kidding!”

After the big day is done, obviously everyone gets together in smaller groups to discuss. When Jackie, Malaysia and Bambi hang out, Bambi admits that she hated Laura’s outfit. “Laura is annoying,” she says, and if she were Jackie, she’d be mad that someone showed up dressed that way.

Jackie joins the bandwagon of trying to get Brooke and Bambi to be friends when she asks Bambi what she thinks of Brooke, and later asks the same thing of Brooke about Bambi. Both women maintain that they barely know each other, but the story gets further fleshed out when Brooke explains that she blocked Bambi on Twitter because she didn’t want her knowing her business.

Brooke is throwing a birthday pool party, and throughout the episode, she invites everyone, including Jackie. Brooke doesn’t think that Draya and Jackie both being there will cause a problem because she thinks Jackie has a loving heart and won’t start a fight at her party. Brooke then jokes (?) to Jackie that if she does start something at the party, she’ll be pulling Jackie off Draya and taking Draya’s side.

“Hear me, and hear me well,” Jackie says. “Don’t get in the middle of me and Draya, and if you do, you gotta go down with her.”

So now Brooke may or may not have a weird tense vibe with Jackie, but when she calls Malaysia to invite her to the pool party, Malaysia asks if she can bring someone, that someone being Bambi.

Malaysia is on speaker phone with Brooke, but Brooke doesn’t realize Bambi is also on the line when Malaysia asks “Will your ex-boyfriend be there?” meaning the guy that caused the beef between Brooke and Bambi in the first place. Even Bambi can’t believe Malaysia would bring that up.

“I ain’t gonna go to her party, that’s too much,” Bambi tells Malaysia when she gets off the phone. Bambi might be the only one on this show with a real grip on how to avoid unpleasant situations. Don’t wanna get into a fight? Don’t hang out with the person you might fight with!

Earlier this season, the ladies discussed getting more adventurous, and this is where all that talk finally comes to fruition. Laura has invited the girls to go hang-gliding, and Malaysia is scared of the giant “kite” but she’s strangely compelled to get on it. Draya’s also a little nervous. “This is not things that black people do,” she says. They all take a turn and Malaysia’s is, by far, the funniest.

“I think I want a re-do,” she says after the fact.

After hang-gliding, the girls hang out and Laura tells Draya that Jackie’s been invited to Brooke’s pool party. “Come on,” Draya says. “Her zaniness and her craziness is not funny to me anymore.”

The pool party has arrived, and the first surprise is that Gloria has graced us with her presence. Welcome back to the show, girl. Surprise number two: that Jackie and Draya have both shown up, and when Draya sits down, Jackie begins to lace up her tennis shoes.

It’s a pretty aggressive move, considering we all know that heels (platform, kitten, or otherwise) are not the chosen fighting shoes of the VH1 Wives, and to actually change into sneakers means you mean business. Draya gets it and doesn’t like it one bit.

“I don’t know what to expect with Draya, she could flip at any second,” Jackie explains. “I want to be prepared.”

Prepared for what, exactly? You’ll have to wait till next week to see.

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