Today on T.I. And Tiny: The Family Hustle, we get a special tour of an exclusive school called Auntie Precious Academy. This top-tier pre-school features a one-to-one student-teacher ratio, undivided attention from the instructor, and the most adorable student body you can imagine. See, Auntie Precious is T.I.‘s sister, and she’s been nannying/teaching Major in order to prepare him for pre-school, and the time has come to see what he’s learned from her so far.
Is it just me or could anyone else watch hours and hours of this kid playing with flashcards? Also, though, he’s really good with numbers and shapes, so obviously Auntie Precious is a great teacher.
Tip and Tiny look on adoringly as Major shows off his academic skills and ability to spell his own last name.
“Guess that makes it official, my little dude’s ready for school,” Tip says.
Precious came to live with Tiny and the kids while Tip was “away” and everyone loved having her around so she never left. But now that Major is heading to school, she’s kind of clueless as to what her next big thing will be, so she sits with T.I. and Tiny to discuss her next job now that Auntie Precious Academy is closing up shop. She tells them she’s decided to go back to her home, explaining “I’m not trying to leave you guys, I just need balance in my life.” Tiny’s on a mission to find something to get Precious to stay though. She asks her later if some of that life-balance she’s seeking has to do with finding a man friend and Precious explains that’s part of it, but her main concern as far as that goes is that she “gotta make sure he got something going on.”
Precious has one more lesson for Major before he heads to “big school,” and that is, hilariously, randomly, a lesson in anti-corruption. The lesson begins by Auntie Precious asking Major where his ankle is, where his shoulder is, and the like. It ends with her saying “Do you know what corrupt is?” and explaining that it’s when people do bad things. Doy!
Once he learns the meaning of the word, she asks him what his plan is when he gets to school, and he responds appropriately.
The first item on the agenda in Precious’ new life is to go shopping with Tiny. She has a date and Tiny thinks she needs something new and sexy so she can “turn it up” with this new man.
Shekinah comes along to add some color commentary. When Precious tries on this number, Shekinah tells Precious she looks “real, real, real raunchy,” and she’s going to have sex tonight if she wears that thing.
Once she picks out a sexy pink number, step two of Tiny’s plan to make Precious’ date go smoothly is to actually join her on the date. Well, not quite join her, but go to the same restaurant and keep an eye on things. With some high-tech spy gadgets. Yes, Tiny is going full Homeland on Precious, tracking her every move, listening in on every word.
Only trouble with this plan is that Shekinah, who is always along for the ride, doesn’t know the meaning of covert ops.
She keeps yelling out directives for Precious from across the room and actually walking over to her table to tell Precious’ date, Shakir, that she hasn’t been on a date in forever. Ohhhhh, Shekinah whyyy? And then she continues to linger, taking a picture of the blind daters, asking Shakir to stand so she can size him up.
Finally, mercifully, Tiny wrangles Shekinah back to their table to let the date play out. “you don’t go over there and stay the whole time!” Tiny tells her.
Shakir is unfazed, because at the end of the date, he asks Precious out for date number two. Of course, Tiny gives herself a pat on the back for making it all go smoothly.
After, Precious comes home to tell Tip how it all went, but as any younger brother would react, he wants no part in it. “Spare me the details!”
“You’re home safe. You enjoyed yourself. That’s all that matters.” This is not a man who wants to hear about whether or not there was real raunch involved after hours.
And Tiny’s ultimate plan actually worked, because Precious has decided that she’d miss the family too much if she moved out, so she’s going to stay. As long as she gets a little bit of adult time to balance out the kid time.
Precious has one last kid-duty though, to drop off Major at his first day of big school. He clings tightly to his Auntie Precious though.
Tip eases Major into his first day by hanging around and playing with his new classmates and all the kids fall in love with him. (I just love that he’s wearing a shirt with these patches on it to a pre-school.)
And as Tip says, this is the just the beginning. Only 14 more years of this to go.