On their last day in New Orleans, the ladies take a cooking class, and the first thing that came into my head was please God, don’t let them fight in room full of burners and knives. Luckily, they stick mostly to the etouffee at hand and break up into two groups (sans Draya, who was too hungover after a night of breast-flashing and shot-taking to come). On one side are the Govans and Brooke, and on the other, it’s Jackie, Bambi, and Malaysia. While they cook their dessert, Jackie comments “That’s a lot of sugar. A lot of sugar like a lot of liars.”
That’s a bit of a forced comparison, I think, but it’s the only way she can bring up the topic of Laura. Jackie received a text from her daughter Chantel revealing that Chani and Laura spoke, and Jackie is upset that the conversation took place without her knowledge, so she’s completely unable to focus on cooking. “What is it that you hate me that much for that you keep trying to f– with me?” Jackie says when she tells Malaysia and Bambi upon hearing that Laura is still meddling for reasons unknown. At this point in time, Jackie thinks Lara is “the lowest scum of the earth” for sinking to the levels that she has. Bambi totally agrees. “This is wrong. Somebody needs to put your ass back into place,” she says.
The whole group sits down to taste the food they made and Jackie can’t hardly wait any more, so she asks Laura why she was in touch with her daughters.
Laura’s wheels appear to spin for a second as she processes what Jackie’s said and she looks confused as to how to handle this situation.
Finally she asks for a moment alone with Jackie to lay it all out there. Her big plan, revealed! Or not!
Jackie tells Laura that knowing Laura spoke to her kids is incredibly deceptive and hurtful, and Laura admits that she did meet with Chantel but she regrets that now. “My intention, at the time, was not right,” she tells Jackie. “I was angry. When she shared things with me, I saw this girl and she’s so hurt.” Laura says she ultimately wanted to try and orchestrate a trip for Chantel to come to New Orleans to resolve her own issues with her mom, because she no longer sought revenge on Jackie. After meeting with Chantel, Laura says “I saw the demons in me.” She says she scrapped her revenge plot after realizing that the negativity was exhausting. Instead of plotting, she could be “enjoying her craziness and getting more laughs as opposed to fighting and feeling resentful towards her.” Laura goes so far as to apologize for her evil intentions and tell Jackie she loves her.
Jackie is torn. On the one hand, you know she wants to just hug Laura and be besties with her and forget this all happened, that’s just how Jackie is. But on the other, Jackie sees Laura’s actions and her initial plan as something truly deceitful and mean-spirited and remains confused about her feelings and their friendship.
Malaysia tells Draya that Chantel and Laura met and Jackie’s upset about it, and Draya is pissed off that someone’s kids are involved. In fact, pretty much everyone feels that way, that bringing kids into the situation has crossed a line and Draya explains that that’s stooping to a whole other level.
“If it’s one thing you go off for in this world, it’s your kids,” Draya explains.
Malaysia continues with her role as peace-keeper/chief of understanding whose side everyone is one, and she meets up with Laura on what looks to be a very chilly day.
“I’m not understanding what you’re doing, and it’s making me question what the hell is up with you,” Malaysia says.
Laura explains that Chantel is the one who called her, but in her malicious state of mind, she saw it as a good opportunity to mess with Jackie — Laura knew Jackie would feel hurt just knowing that the two spoke, and Laura was rubbing her hands together in evil delight at the thought of that. “But then I actually met with her and it changed everything,” Laura says. After her talk with Chantel, she gave up her master plan, but I’m still unclear about the rest of the conversation. Either way, it still sounds like Jackie and/or Chantel is upset.
To get their mind off things, the ladies take a swamp tour to feed alligators. Jackie jokes that with both her and Laura on a boat “one of us might not come back from the water.” Maybe so, but not because they’ve been fighting — Laura has some kind of death wish, sticking her arms and legs outside the boat trying to touch the damn gators. Girl, get back in the boat!
“If this thing bites the s— out of her, it’s exactly what you deserve,” Bambi comments. Surprisingly, the rest of the trip is without incident and Malaysia comments that the vibe has changed to a positive, fun one at this point and it’s really nice.
Not for long!
After the gator park, Laura, Brooke and Gloria run into Draya’s manager, Marcus. They wonder why he’s in New Orleans and whether that meas Draya’s been ditching the girls in order to self-promote and do other interviews without them, so Gloria schemes to call Marcus and find out. Why this is anybody’s business or care is beyond me, but you know it’s going to stir up trouble.
When Draya gets word of the girls meddling with her manager, she is rightfully pissed. “So Gloria, what’s up? You call my manager?” Gloria admits she did because she wanted to get to the bottom of where Draya was. Again, why she cares is beyond me, but it’s apparently an itch that needed scratching.
To make matters worse, Brooke, who is still upset with Draya, butts in and brings up the same issue we’ve been hearing abou for, what, a year? Two years now? How Draya hasn’t been supporting her, blah, blah, blah.
Ultimately, while Malaysia tries to calm things, it’s useless because Bambi starts arguing with the Govans while Draya and Brooke are going at it and a near-melee ensues.
Everyone is in each others’ faces and it looks like the party bus might turn out to be the fight club bus. Luckily everyone has the sense to get off the bus and go their separate ways. Once again it’s team Govans and Brooke vs. everyone else, and to keep the peace, they separate.
On their last night in New Orleans, Malaysia organizes one final dinner for everyone to get things off their chest. Herself included. She beings with a toast to the group and says “I think that you guys are…a—-holes sometimes,” she says, to everyone’s surprise.
She says she’s offering up the floor to everyone in order to speak and say what they need to in order to clear the air, and Draya goes first, telling Brooke that she has never wanted Brooke to fail. Brooke doesn’t accept that because she claims she’s heard things that Draya has allegedly said about her, that she’s too old, that she doesn’t have followers, and she thinks that Draya is “pathetic.” Ouch. “You see what I mean?” Draya asks. “This is why our relationship is so far gone.” And it ain’t never comin’ back. Brooke gets so mad that she stands up to get in Draya’s face, but Malaysia rises up too and screams at the two of them “Shut the f— up! It’s over!” before anyone can get more riled.
And that’s the end of that argument. “We’re not going to have a friendship anymore,” Draya explains. “I just had to let it go.”
“Movin’ on,” Malaysia says, and she hands the floor over to Bambi, who sort of apologizes for saying she wanted to smack the s— out of Gloria. Gloria says the real brunt of their issues comes from Bambi butting in on the Laura/Jackie situation and “while I felt you were entitled to your opinion, you didn’t have all the facts.” Okay, two issues down, one to go.
When Jackie takes the floor she immediately starts to cry, saying she’s in a different place now that her mother passed away. “I played the game and I f—ed up in that game. I f—ed up,” she admits. However, what Laura did is, she feels, worse.
“You talked to my child, Laura. Whatever she told you, maybe I’ma hear it and I’ma learn something about my child. That’s hard for me. Because I love my motherf—ing kids more than you will ever know in your life. That’s my world. I don’t got my mother and I don’t got my f—ing father, but my children are mine!”
“I’m a f—ing wounded woman, like anybody else,” Jackie continues. This leaves everyone an emotional mess. Everyone but Laura. “If you are not touched sitting at that table listening to Jackie, something is wrong with you,” she says in response to Laura’s stoic expression.
Bambi takes it all in and realizing that the women are all clearly in different places and that there may not be any amount of mediation or conversation that with fix them. “I think that things will forever be divided now,” she says. Looks that way.