Mob Wives – Episode 1 – Be Prepared To Go To War

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Mob Wives Season Three


“So…have you seen Renee?” Drita asks Carla during their dog-walking gossip sesh in the opening scene of Mob Wives season three. “God, no. Thank God,” is Carla’s surprising response.

So let’s backtrack for a second to remember the final scene of season two, the group of women and all their children, calling a truce with one another (a truce that existed mainly for the sake of Karen, Ramona and Drita), and yet within four seconds of the new season, Renee and Carla are already on the rocks. Signs of what’s to come!

“I hear Renee has a problem with me,” Carla tells us. “WHAT NOW?” Carla tells Drita (who’s all good with all the ladies right now) that someone must have “gotten Renee’s ear” and has been telling her things that Carla may or may not have said, and Carla is done with all that. “I’m done with her s—…she’s like a f—ing clown!” Carla explains that renee is never happy, not with her friends, not with her life and it all depends on “whatever pill she’s popped that day.” “Maybe I should call her ‘junk-box,’” Carla says.

“Ohhh boy. I don’t like this conversation,” Drita says. Drita wants to talk to Renee about her recent problems with Carla to see where all this is coming from, and she has to act fast before Carla’s rants about Renee and her supposed drug use get out of control. Oh wait, too late. Carla is on a tear now, and blames all of Renee’s erratic behavior on pills and says that they’re the reason Renee takes things out on everyone, especially her.

Renee has other stuff going on though at the moment that doesn’t concern Carla, like the fact that she needs new locks and security because her house was just broken into.

“This was a personal attack,” she says. “They actually destroyed my Bible and ripped pillows.” (They also pooped in her toilet, she later tells Drita. Who ARE these animals???) Renee feels unsafe, but that’s exacerbated by the fact that Junior’s cooperation with the government has left her more vulnerable than ever.”After somebody cooperates, the family usually feels some sort of wrath for that. It’s part of the game,” she explains, telling her son AJ that she’d feel safer with a gun in the house. AJ is surprised at the words coming out of his mother’s mouth.

Renee blames Junior for her feelings of unease and for the fact that his actions may be putting herself and AJ in more danger, but AJ isn’t going to have this conversation. He acknowledges that what Junior did was wrong, but it’s still his father. “Have some respect for me!” he tells Renee. “Enough now, I took enough s—,” when she continues to talk about it. “Get over it, it’s done with!” he yells at her, as she walks away. Oof.

And now, it’s time to meet Love Majewski.

Love heads over to Big Ang‘s to pop a bottle and hang out as you do on Staten Island, and we learn that she’s the ex-fiancee of Ray Merolle, who was the leader of the Untouchables, the largest car-theft ring in the world and was allegedly the basis for the movie Gone In 60 Seconds.

Ang fills Love in on the drama with Carla and Renee, and Love can relate because she’s had issues of her own with Renee. She says that Renee has told people she thinks Love and Junior hooked up. “Renee thinks everybody f—ed Junior,” Ang explains. “I don’t know why she thinks that, ’cause I think he’s a horror.” Annnnd THIS is why we love Big Ang. “He ain’t all thaaaat!”

“You gotta be like, three screws loose if you wanna have a problem with me,” Love explains. “Everybody knows I’ll take it to another level.” Well, everybody knows NOW. We have it noted in our little book of how to deal with a Mob Wife. Rule #962, don’t have a problem with Love Majewski, lest it be taken to another level.

“Love is really crazy. Also, she’s a f—ing lunatic,” Ang agrees.

“I’ve poisoned people. I’ve stabbed them. Like…I’ve shot them,” Love says.

So, yup, not about to take it to this other level with Love.

Drita wants to try and mediate whatever it is that’s going on between Renee and Carla, so she meets with Renee to chat. Before the get into Carla’s newly outspoken behavior and whatever it is that Renee thinks she’s been saying, however, Renee tells Drita about her break-in.

“Ew, what f—ing scumbags!” Drita responds. Drita thinks it’s the work of someone bent on instilling some fear in Renee, and she says it’s a feeling she suffered from when Lee went to prison, too. Lee’s time is almost up though and he’ll be home soon, and Renee is pretty convinced that once he’s home, he and Drita will shack back up. As Renee says this, she gets in a jab at Carla saying “You gotta be like a sewer whore like Carla is and just lay down and not even think about it.” Drita is shocked at what Renee’s saying about her bff.

“What’d she do to you?” Drita asks.

“She’s a sneaky, conniving whore, filthy, husband-f—ing douchebag.”

Oh, is that all?

Renee claims she saw Carla at an event and she was trying to move in on another woman’s husband, something Renee says is not a new habit of Carla’s.

“Do you wanna talk to her about it?” Drita asks.

Talk to her? I’ll rip her vocal cords right out of her throat!” Renee says. “There’s nothing to say to her except ‘F— you, you filthy c—.” Renee’s final words to Carla in the conversation bode ominously, and yet they’re a theme on this show. “Be very prepared to go to war with me,” she says.

Drita meets up with Carla to tell her all of Renee’s grievances, and Carla’s reaction is “Who the f— is she even talking about??” Carla claims that everything Renee says is a lie, and you wanna know why? “Because she’s a junkie. She f—ing does drugs. And any junkie I know is a lying little b—h. And that’s what she is.”

“You guys hate each other, man,” Drita says, understating the obvious. But it’s clear that Drita is not happy to be in the middle of this.

She goes to talk about all this with Ang, who wants to know if what she’s heard about Carla’s trash-talk is true. “I can’t even lie!” Drita says. “[She] RIPPED her! Carla’s my f—ing friend, but she destroyed her.” And as for Renee’s accusations that Carla’s a ho? “What does she care? Forty five years old, she could f— ten guys a day!” Ang and Drita want the ladies to “straighten it out…like nice human beings.”

Karen and Renee meet up with Big Ang at — where else? — the Drunken Monkey.

Health Department grade pending.

Karen and Renee are there to explain their side of the situation. “The thing about Carla,” Karen begins, “is she is very antagonistic.”

“I. Don’t. Like. The. Girl,” is how Renee puts it.
You know who Renee also doesn’t like? Love Majewski, who just happens to walk in the Monkey.

Renee tells Ang and Karen to take a hike so she could have a chat with Love about their past differences. “The rumor was that you were sleeping with my ex-husband,” Renee tells Love, who finds that comical. “Why the f— would I wanna f— with her husband?” she asks. “I don’t know what the f— he was putting in her Kool-Aid but he ain’t no f—ing prize in my book.”

Love tells Renee that she would never, ever sleep with a married man and it’s not cool that Renee thinks that about her. She might get stabby and shooty, but she does not go the adultery route.
“It never f—ing happened.”

Renee accepts Love at her word (mostly because she knows Love is more trustworthy than Junior ever was) and chooses to move on. Boom, just like that, we’re one conflict down this season. And an infinite number to go. Starting…NOW.

“Today is D-Day: Dumb B—h Day,” Renee says, as she prepares for a brunch at Big Ang’s house where she and Carla are going to face off. (Figuratively. We hope they don’t actually rip each others’ faces off.) When Renee shows up to Ang’s she declares “I’m high! On life!” and is in good spirits, but she clarifies that she’s only there because Drita and Ang asked her to do this. Carla shows up and all good spirits are out the window.

As soon as she sits, Renee is on edge and tells her to say whatever it is she’s gotta say in order to clear the air. Renee brings up an instance where a group of their friends were at a club and one guy in the group, who was there with his girlfriend, turned his attention to Carla. Carla denied chasing the guy, but Renee thinks it was disrespectful for Carla to even entertain this guy with conversation.

Renee accuses Carla of being the “go-to girl” that guys find at the end of the night and…you know. GO to. “Go-to girl. Who the f— even uses that term anymore?” Ang asks.

But Carla’s flirtations are only one of the grievances Renee has today, she also bring up the fact that Carla’s been running around town calling her a junkie. An accusation Carla doesn’t deny. “Oh, yeah. You are a junkie.”

“You absolutely have no right to call me that,” Renee says after Ang comes to her defense and tells Carla that the J-word is a sensitive one, especially given the fact that Ang’s AJ is currently in rehab getting help for his own problem. Renee surprises Carla, however, by admitting “I’m an addict.” Renee says that post-surgery she started to develop a problem with pills which only got worse when the whole Junior situation exploded. But Carla is still pretty flip about that, despite the fact that Drita and Ang view Renee’s issue as something they should support her on, not something that warrants name-calling.

Renee has had it, so she finally says what she’s been harboring about Carla f—ing married men, and Carla screams “Who gives a f—?” And that’s when she reaches for the knife and threatens to stab Renee with it.

“Ang and I set up this brunch so Carla and Renee can clear the air. And now the brunch turned into a f—ing brawl,” Drita says.

“I don’t know what happened to Carla, but she grew some balls!” Ang says.

So where do the ladies stand after their verbal brawl that did not resolve anything and, in fact, seems to have made things worse?

“Between me calling her names and her calling me names, there’s no coming back from that,” Renee says.

They agree to be cordial which, in their opinions, means ignoring each other forever.

Stick a fork in this episode because “We’re done, we’re done, we’re done,” Drita concludes.