5. Jacob aka Neander-Tool
They don’t get more meathead than Jacob, who was all brawn and no brains. Jacob was the unlikely contender for the finale, especially after his constant outbursts, which included sparring with Angelo, intimidatingly chugging milk and smashing the TV with his foot. Ultimately he proved he was the biggest tool that needed the most help – somehow taking the crown in season three.
4. Daniel aka Glow Stick Tool
Nothing says tool like a jealous tirade. After girlfriend Lesly had one too many conversations with Kyle (see Jennavecia), Daniel went off on her. “No matter what I do, I can’t turn a ho into a housewife,” he screamed at Lesly in episode eight. Boom goes the dynamite! And when he was eliminated, Daniel took his rage one step further. Instead of begging for Lesly to stay with him, he dumped her on national TV. Glow Stick out!
3. Tommy aka Slacker Tool
All season, Tommy lived up to his nickname. He proved that he only cared about himself and when it came time to ask Krista to stay, she walked away. So when it came to the reunion, fans were surprised to learn the two were back together. But the blissful moment didn’t last long when Krista accused Tommy of cheating. Again. Aghast that she would charge him with infidelity, Tommy insisted on taking an impromptu lie detector test, which he failed. Krista got the last laugh when she slapped him and walked off the set.
2. Jennavecia aka Toolette
Where does one begin with Jennavecia? The Toolette represented a new generation of Tool, the female version. As the daughter of a brothel-owning-mother, Jenna’s constant cheating was confused for sexual empowerment. However, Jenna revealed how deluded she was when she railed against her boyfriend Kyle for spending too much time with a fake baby during the family values challenge. When Kyle wouldn’t play nice and share the baby, Jenna retaliated. “And that’s why I can never have a baby with you,” she yelled. But that wasn’t enough. As she was dragged to the limo (after being eliminated), she left one final message for Angelo’s girlfriend Dayna. “Blog about that, bitch,” she screamed. (Hey Jenna, don’t threaten her with a good time. That’s my job!)
1. Shawn aka Loud Mouth Tool
There are numerous instances when Shawn proved how much of a tool he could be (the piglet, his hair, etc.). However, nothing proved worse than when it was revealed that he had a big secret. During group therapy, Aida, Shawn’s ex-girlfriend, confronted him and his current “girlfriend,” Jaimee. Apparently, Shawn and Aida had been together for six years and things weren’t quite over for the couple. With a few screams and collective gasps, Aida took her seat next to her man while Jaimee was sent packing. Despite all the strain put on all the hair extensions, Shawn remained cool, focusing on the positive: “I did have two hot girlfriends at one point.”
I’m sorry guys, but you’re all just complete tools.
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[Photo: VH1/495 Productions]