Posts By Jonathan Durbin

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Tila Tequila: Coming Back So Soon?

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We can’t vouch for the veracity of this Web site, nor whether or not A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila will truly be returning to MTV’s airwaves. What we can say, however, is that the casting site exists. That’s right: www.shotatlovecasting.com! Now you, too, can sign up to be part of the next bi-sexual bonanza, starring some sort of quasi-famous extrovert. Our money is on Tila Tequila returning, but you never know. Anyhow . . . the site allows users to answer questions in a complex psychological profile. These include: “If you could date any celebrity, who would it be? Why?” Don’t over-think it, kids. A nice, semi-nude photo that features your piercings/tattoos ought to suffice.

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A Shot at Love: The Lost Episode
Tila Tequila Finale: Did You Pick Bobby?

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Tila Tequila and the Awful, Terrible, No-Good, Very Bad Mistake (Finale Recap)

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Tila Tequila, we, the staff of VH1 Digital, humbly submit to you the following: We stuck with you, through thick and thin, and no one can deny it. We supported you long past the point of any sane person supporting anyone on a reality TV series. When your judgment was questionable, we allowed you the benefit of our doubt. When your choices displeased you, when they brought you to tears, we sat here in our offices and told each other that it was OK, that you were just going through a phase, that sooner or later you’d stop wearing shimmery outfits fashioned from hankies and learn that clothing wasn’t some evil mainstream instrument designed to rid you of your charisma. We thought you’d learn. We had high hopes.

Well, Tila, it’s over.

How on earth could you have chosen Bobby? Have you lost your mind? Are you blind? What’s wrong with you? Moreover, what’s wrong with us? How could we have believed in you?

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The Dark Knight Returns

Guess who’s back? Back again? The Joker’s back. Tell a friend. Or something. In the new trailer for 2008′s The Dark Knight, we’re treated to a visual smorgasbord of a bleakly apocalyptic Gotham City (which, for those of us who live in New York City, is pretty much every day). Following the events of the last film, the Batman and Lieutenant Gordon decide to rid the city of the remaining vestiges of its criminal underworld. Unfortunately, they’re blocked in that attempt by the Joker, who looks twice as scary as Jack Nicholson ever did. We’re counting the days until July 18.

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Tila Tequila: The Final Episode Preview

Darling Tila! How we yearned for your decision! We yearned so hard, we were forced to make up our own version of your final episode right here on this blogroll! But your mercy is bountiful, and your generosity renowned across these United States of America. And so, both to quell our cravings and stoke our desire, you’ve released this fascinating clip of your final episode fandango. In it, you ask your potential mates, Bobby and Dani, to accompany you to your studio. There you implore them to write and record a rap song for you. Bobby’s is weak. Dani’s is strong. Pick Dani, please, Tila. Please.

*Isn’t it interesting how the final two contestants on A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila are a feminine man and a masculine woman? Isn’t also interesting how both have gender neutral names? That’s all we have to say on this point . . . but still, we think it’s interesting and are forced to ask: Is MTV headed off to androgyny-ville?

Related Content
Tila Tequila: Battle of the Sexes (The Fantasy Episode)
A Shot At Love Episode Recaps: 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1

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Tila Tequila: Battle of the Sexes (The Fantasy Episode)

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Tila, sweetheart, night-blooming jasmine of our love, how disappointed we were that you extended your show’s run by another week. We knew that you were a master of suspense, a sensei in the art of the tease, a certified Ph.D in the prolonging of climax, but we were ill-prepared by how empty our lives would feel, not knowing whether or not you would choose Dani or Bobby to become your paramour for yet another seven days. And so, our hands clasped behind our heads, our breath deep, slow and somnolent, we lay in bed and fantasized about what you could possibly have in store for your firefighting sweetheart and your film-student pookie-kins. In short, this is our dream episode of A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila, one which will never air. But in our dreams, in the visions of you that spring so readily to the fore of our minds during the bewitching hours after-dark, we realized an essential truth about the nature of your contestants. Sometimes, the masculine is the feminine . . . and vice-versa. How bizarre.

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Smartest Model‘s Mary Alice Stephenson: Angela Wasn’t Model Enough

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Mary Alice Stephenson, co-host of America’s Most Smartest Model, is a fashion industry insider whose smart looks and smart tongue control her show’s pretty people. Each week we talk with her about issues on the show. This time the subjects are Angela’s future in music, Andre’s skills in front of the camera, and — what else? — V.J.’s sneaky-sneaky behavior.

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Best Picture of the Year?

This morning VH1 and the Broadcast Film Critics Association announced the nominees for the 13th annual Critics’ Choice Awards, which VH1 head-honcho Tom Calderone called “the New Hampshire primary” of awards season. Leading the passel is Into the Wild, which picked up nods for Best Picture, Best Director (Sean Penn), Best Actor (Emile Hirsch) and Best Supporting Actress (Catherine Keener). Meanwhile, Juno, No Country for Old Men, Atonement, Michael Clayton, Hairspray and Sweeney Todd (which hasn’t even come out yet!) were no slouches, either, garnering multiple nominations. On-hand to help out were NY1‘s film critic Neil Rosen, renowned for his Big Apple rating scale, and, of course, Academy Award-winner Marisa Tomei, currently appearing in a theater near you as part of the cast of Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead.

The action goes down on January 7th, 2008, broadcast live by VH1 from the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium in Los Angeles, hosted by comedian D.L. Hughley. For a complete list of nominees — start those fantasy movie pools soon, people — check criticschoice.vh1.com.

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Awards Season Kick-Off: Coens Grateful, Deadly

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Well, it’s that time of the year again when we all take a little pause, breathe a little easier, say thanks for Scrooged, and begin to take stock of the previous 12 months. When it comes to motion pictures, that means that the National Board of Review has named its 2007 winners. Take it for it is (Oscars bellwether!), but the list doesn’t appear to be all that off-base, leastways not from our extensive research. Joel and Ethan Coen’s horribly bleak adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s horribly bleak No Country for Old Men was named best picture. Tim Burton nabbed best director for Sweeney Todd. George Clooney took home best actor for Michael Clayton. Julie Christie won best actress for Away from Her. What’s most amazing is that the bulk of those movies have actually seen a theatrical release. Nice job, National Board of Review! Way to stick with the proletariats! Speaking of film honors, VH1 will be broadcasting the 2007 Critics’ Choice Awards live on January 7th, 2008. Mark your calendars.

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Tila Tequila Goes to Mexico (Ep. 9)

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Sweetheart Tila, we’d long suspected that you were the intuitive sort, but we remained blissfully unaware of your psychic abilities until last night. How else could you have known of Amanda’s evil ulterior motives? And to think, after all you’d done for her, that she would be so insecure as to disparage the characters of her fellow contestants. The title of your show is A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila, not A Shot at Smack Talk With Tila Tequila or A Shot at Calling Dani a Slutty Strip-Club Regular With Tila Tequila. Amanda, as they say, missed the point of the exercise, which was to win your heart, not the attention of your hands. But we digress, and, actually, we lie a little, too. Dani and Bobby did not exactly behave with impunity. But tensions ran high, even given the extremely relaxing and soul-replenishing vistas of body-, mind-, and health-oriented Cancun. And although your hotel appeared to be a quaint, well-designed megalith (built with all the fluorish of a Bauhaus architect, perhaps one who’d overdosed on moldy Manchego the night before sitting down at the drafting table), there was no peace to be found in Mexico. No peace at all.

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