Posts By Matt Muro

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Paris Hilton Dumps on Kim’s Rump

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Remember when Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian were BFF? Well not anymore! Though the two have remained mum on their pal-split thus far, Paris did reveal her feelings about Kim’s notorious ass on a Vegas radio show, when asked if she’d rather have Jessica Simpson’s rack or Kim’s butt. “It reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag,” she snipped.

Yep, spoken like a true former friend. After the cruel (but kind of hilarious) insult leaked onto the web, the heiress freaked and called Kim to apologize. “I was just joking around and I made a stupid joke,” Paris told In Touch. “I felt really bad afterward, so I contacted Kim and apologized. It was a silly thing to say. Kim’s hot!”

We’d love to see what kind of nasty shizz Paris dishes when she’s not joking. Hopefully I can become her BFF and find out! Vote for me and help me win a chance to be Paris Hilton’s best friend. Please!? I’ll diss your butt if you don’t.

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Paris Hilton Needs a New BFF, Vote for Me!

kate-nicole200×225.jpgFriends,

Paris Hilton is on the prowl for a new best friend, and our peeps over at MTV are helping her mission out with a new reality show that weens out the pals who can hang from the hanger-ons. And this here blogger wants in! I am a lover of all things Paris and am willing to fight a stable of other fabulous wannabes to be at her side (platonically, natch). Paris and I both have size 11 feet and love animals to a fault. What more is there to know? We’re meant to be BFFS!

You can vote for me at the ParisBFF casting site and visit my website, ParisandKateForever.com, for continuous coverage of my quest. And if for some ghastly reason I do not make it on the show as a contestant, I will be bitterly recapping the episodes here on The VH1 Blog each week. But she better watch her back! If she leaves me out of her new clique, there will be hell to pay! I may be an excellent friend, but I’m an even better frenemy.

Vote for me!

Love & kisses & lost chihuahuas,

Kate

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Boutiques Boot Posh

Victoria Beckham, the former Spice Girls singer who crossed over into the fashion industry, has been dumped by U.S. stores after weak sales of her line of jeans. Los Angeles-area boutique owner Fraser Ross cites one possiblereason for the break up: “A celebrity line is no different from an album or a tour. It has to be promoted to sell.” This may be true. But Fraseris missinga crucial point: Posh would have to actuallybefashionable to successfully promote a fashion line. Take a look at some ofher most hideous looks below. Would you buy clothes from this woman?

The Space Traveler Look:
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The MilkCow Look:
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The My BreastsAre Weapons Look:
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The Ming Dynasty Fan Club Look:
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The I Only Eat 900 Calories a Day Look:
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Moreafter the jump:
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Russell Brand Eye-Humps Kristen Bell

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Actor Russell Brand posed for the paparazzi at yesterday’s Los Angeles premiere of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, in which he co-stars with Heroes/Gossip Girl/Veronica Mars cutie Kristen Bell. Well, actually, it looks like he’s forgetting to pose altogether, and thinking only about jumping Bell right on the red carpet. You’re supposed to look at the camera, Russell. Not the breasts! More eye-humping here:

A self-admitted drug and sex addict, it’s great that Russell has been open about his addictions and has sought help. Now he just needs to trim his lion’s mane, because it looks like he’s about to pounce.

Bonus picture after the jump.

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Top 10 Reasons Sean Penn and Robin Wright Are Calling Off Divorce

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When Robin Wright Penn filed for divorce from Sean Penn citing “irreconcilable differences,” things didn’t look so good. But the couple has officially withdrawn their divorce papers, reconciling the irreconcilable. Here are the top 10 reasons that the actors may have saved their marriage.

10. Sean was reminded of Wright Penn’s hotness while watching a DVD of Beowulf.

9. Sean quit having sex with supermodel Petra Nemcova.

8. Sean quit flirting with Sienna Miller.

7. Sean promised to quit making funny and/or demented faces for the press.

6. Sean quit spending all of his time with Eddie Vedder.

5. Wright Penn felt nostalgic for the good old days.

4. Sean promised to quit smoking again. This time for real!

3. Robin Wright finally got over her Princess Bride co-star Cary Elwes.

2. Sean quit having threesomes with Russian girls.

1. Sean shaved off his mustache and no longer looks like a porn star director.

(All images: Getty)

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New Kids Get Back on the Block

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Yeah, people keep on fronting on the Beantown posse
But it’s time to step up to the stand
‘Cause we ain’t going out like that
Back, huh, stronger than ever, did you think we’d sever?

New Kids on the Block are living up to the lyrics of their 1990 song “Games” by reuniting after nearly 14 years. The jury has yet to assemble on whether the ’80s/’90s boy band that sold more than 70 million records is “stronger than ever.” Either way, you know that NKOTB are braced for some major fronting. In fact, let’s start it off right now by observing that they look more like “Middle-Aged Men on the Block” or even “Wall Street Executives Going to Lunch on the Block” than kids making bubblegum-pop. To the band’s credit, this reunion isn’t just about nostalgia. A brand new album is in the works and NKOTB will embark on a worldwide tour this fall. Hopefully they’ll perform “You Got It (The Right Stuff)” — only this time in their business suits. That would be a hoot!

Before and after pics after the jump.

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TMZ Can’t Write “Nice Stories”

TMZ.com, Time Warner’s star-stalking operation, has an option in its navigation titled “Nice Stories,” positioned directly after “Drunks” and “Fights.” As evidenced here (at least, at the time of this post), “Nice Stories” takes users to a page with nothing on it except the following text: “Posted Dec 12th 2007 2:33PM by TMZ Staff.” Also, if you have your speakers on, you’ll be delighted to hear the sound of crickets chirping. We’re assuming Dec. 12 was the last time that a TMZ staff member could think of a “Nice Story” to write and that this alleged “Nice Story” expired, leaving the page sadly blank. Well, the VH1 Blog staff finds this unacceptable, so we’ve decided to pick up TMZ’s slack by adding some posts to its “Nice Stories” news desk:

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More on Janice Dickinson at Hollywoodtuna.com.

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More on Lara Flynn Boyle and plastic surgery gone wrong at VH1.com.

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Ask Brooke Hogan Anything You Want!

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Fans of Brooke Hogan probably can’t wait until the premiere of her upcoming VH1 show, you know, the one that documents the six-foot blonde bombshell spreading her wings in Miami. With no curfew. No rules. No Hulk. In preparation for Brooke Hogan Knows Best, everyone gets to ask the star some personal questions. Does she miss living with her family? What’s it like living in the public eye 24/7? Are any new boys in her life? Ask anything you want. We’ll forward them on, and Brooke will give her candid answers via video every week on VH1.com while her show is airing. — Matt Muro