Posts By Matt Muro

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Stars Get Goofy at Kids’ Choice

Why are Academy Award winners cut off in mid-sentence during their acceptance speeches? It’s probably because they’re as exciting as someone reading who begat whom from the Bible. As dwindling ratings suggest, both the Oscars and the Grammys are boring the pants off of their viewers. Not so the Kids’ Choice Awards, which, in recent years, has bucked the trend of declining ratings for awards shows.

The stars may have used last night’s 2008 Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards as a marketing tool, but at least they show up with their guards down and their funniest clown faces on. Maybe children bring out the goofiest in them. Whatever the reason, the juxtapositions below may indicate that stars have more fun at Kids’ Choice than at more serious, staid events. (All Images: Getty)

Harrison Ford at the Oscars (left) and Kids Choice (right). harrison_ford.jpg

 

 

Jack Black at the Oscars (left) and Kids’ Choice (right). jack-black-kids-choice.jpg

 

Amy Poehler at the Rock Hall induction (left) and Kids’ Choice (right).amy_poehler.jpg

 

 

Emile Hirsch at the Screen Actors’ Guild Awards (left) and Kids’ Choice (right).emile_hirsch.jpg

 

 

Steve Carell at the Oscars (left) and Kids’ Choice Awards (right).steve_carell.jpg

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Rock of Love Girls: Hot or Not Results! (Part 2)

It’s often said that people become more — or less — attractive after you get to know them. We found this theory to be true by asking which Rock of Love 2 girls were hot and which were not before the season began and then again earlier this the week. So while Kristy Jo is still the beauty of the bunch, she’s dropped on the hotness scale by 14 percent. Similarly, the seemingly genuine sweeties Ambre and Jessica are a whopping 45 percent and 43 percent hotter than before the show aired. Below is a side-by-side comparison of the results from both polls. Disagree with your fellow fans? Leave a comment.

1. Kristy Jo
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Now:
HOT = 259
NOT = 49
Score: 84%
Pre-Season:
HOT = 369
NOT = 2
Score: 98%

2. Ambre
ambre-160x.jpg

Now:
HOT = 240
NOT = 177
Score: 58%
Pre-Season:
HOT = 84
NOT = 459
Score: 13%

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Rock of Love Girls: Hot or Not? (Part 2)

It’s often said that people become more — or less — attractive after you get to know them. We’re testing this theory out by using the remaining Rock of Love girls (and a couple of recently booted ones, to boot). Before the season began, we asked you to let us know which of the contestants were hot and which were not. Now that you’ve had a chance to watch these girls up close and personal on TV, we’re asking the same question all over again. Click on any thumbnail photo below and write “hot” or “not” in each girls’ comments section. We will tally your opinions and present the new information, side by side with the old.

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Ambre
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Daisy
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Destiney
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Jessica

Kristy Jo
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Megan

Want more? Rate the Flav girls, too.
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Flav 3 Girls: Hot or Not?

Related Content:
Rock of Love Show Page

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Key to Snoop’s Success: Sex, Weed and Fighting

Snoop DoggIt seems like Snoop Dogg strolls down every red carpet that is rolled out in every corner of the world, not to mention he just taped a new Storytellers for VH1. (Coming Friday: a sneak peek and exclusive online clip.) How did the rapper/actor become such a pop culture fixture? To answer this question is to lay out a blueprint for struggling artists and actors everywhere.

Some might believe Snoop is so ubiquitous because he’s sold millions of albums. This is not the case. There’s plenty of multi-platinum selling rappers that aren’t household names. Others believe Snoop’s fame comes from hustling. Pimp C hustled. Was he invited to red carpet events around the world?

The answer, I believe, lies in Snoop’s face — his bold, cinematic face. When Snoop scowls, the paparazzi goes crazy. His meanly-contorted face, backed up by run-ins with the law, adds a sense of danger and excitement to otherwise drab events. But in order to emulate Snoop, it’s critical to understand what drives those theatrical expressions.

To this end, I spent hours studying hundreds of Snoop Dogg photographs. At first I was bewildered, reading emotions into his face that simply aren’t there, including self-doubt, happiness and remorsefulness. You see, Snoop has three — and only three — thoughts that drive each and every look on his face. (Although sometimes they cross over with one another, producing facial contortions that are slightly harder to interpret.) If you are a wannabe pop star or actor, then think about one of the following lines whenever you’re in front of a camera. Like Snoop, you might end up with the career of your dreams.

Snoop Dogg’s Three Thoughts:

1. I’m About to F*ck You Up

2. You Gonna Get It, Doggystyle

3. Bitch, Roll Me Another Blunt

To prove my point, I’ve paired 16 images with Snoop’s thoughts at the time of each shot.

“I’m About to F*ck You Up” and “Bitch, Roll Me Another Blunt”

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“I’m About to F*ck You Up”

Snoop: “I’m About to F*ck You Up”

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Hottie of the Year? Jes!

Jes from Rock of Love.

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We asked you to name the hottest human being of 2007 and we have sampled more than half of your 800 responses. Our tally shows Jes narrowly edging out New York to become the year’s hottest, finest, cutest, sexiest person. Rock of Love winner Jes and our H.B.I.C. reality diva New York had approximately 150 votes each. But New York attracted dozens of harshly negative comments, and so we’ve crowned Jes our first-ever Hottie of the Year! Here is the list of candidates (in order of hotness, according to you) with some of your positive and negative comments.

1. Jes

Positive:

“Jes all the way! She is so hot I’d consider switching teams!”

Negative:

“She’s ugly and has rat nest hair.”

2. New York

Positive:

“New York … the other girls are boring.”

“Are you kiding me New York is hot dang she is smokin hot and that’s real.”

Negative:

“Looks like somebody hit her in the face with a shovel and just wouldn’t quit.”

“New York looks like a sick horse.”

“New York looks like a horse. Better yet, a horse crossed with a dog.”

“I would have picked NY if we were voting on best transvestite of the year but we’re not so I pick Kim!”

3. Kim Kardashian

Positive:

“Kim is sexy as hell. No one above could compete with her … just look her body.”

“Armenians are the most beautiful people she’s freakin fine.”

Negative:

“Kim sounds like she’s on helium.”

4. Chris Brown

Positive:

“Boy u so sexy if u were a pie i would eat you.”

Negative:

None, at least that we can find.

5. Vanessa Hudgens

Positive:

“I think Vanessa is the hottest. She is so adorable and I think she has a head on her shoulders – although it is said that there are naked pic of her. Who doesn’t make mistakes?”

Negative:

“Vanessa is so ugly and it looks like Fidel Castro is hiding down there.”

Related Content
Rock of Love Show Info
I Love New York Show Info

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Remembering VSPOT

It has come to our attention, via Google Inc., Yahoo! Inc. and the Microsoft Corp., that “VSPOT” has been the most searched word on the Internet for the last few days. In fact, people from nearly every corner of the world except China1 searched with such an insatiable appetite for VSPOT information that the Internet came to a crawl yesterday around 5PM EST. We apologize for the inconvenience. Allow us to explain. Read more…

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Tila Tequila: “Let Them Eat Penis” (Ep. 6)

Tequila, light of my life, fire of my loins.
My sin, my soul. Te-qui-la: the tip of the tongue
taking a trip of three steps down the palate
to tap, at three, on the teeth. Te. Qui. La.

– Matt and Jonathan, the VH1 Blog

Would you believe, Tila, that we wrote this poem for you? It should be as clear as the report of a rifle that we adore you, that we would never forsake you, that you belong with us. It should also be clear that your suitors can’t even gather the courage to eat a perfectly cooked piece of bull flesh in your honor. We’d expect more, at least from the lesbians. You asked the remaining ninnies in the house to “man up” while each eating a bull’s penis and testicles. Perhaps it was the anatomical arrangement of the flesh, pictured below, that made them so queasy.

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Surely, some of the men were eager to close their pretty lips around such privy parts. We remember Bobby, who won this genitals-eating competition, orally copulating a bottle in a recent episode. As for the rest, they would have fared better had they practiced mind over matter. Let’s look at how your suitors performed.

Like this (Brandi):

Brandi eating bull penis.

And this (Amanda):

Amanda eating bull penis.

And this (Steven):

Steven eating bull penis.:

And this (Venessa):

Veronica likes bull penis.

And, finally, this (Venessa, again):

Veronica likes bull penis.

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Hot Searches: Cholos and Tequila

Through an algorithm we keep under lock and key at our editorial labs, we have collected info on the search behavior of our savviest pop music fans. Here’s a selective guide for VH1.com queries covering Oct 15 through Oct. 21.

Down AKA Kilo Leans Like a Cholo

The Cholo Phenomenon

For months, countless users have been typing “Lean Like a Cholo” into our search box. This single from the Down AKA Kilo (pictured above) album Definition of an Ese was released last April. Our algorithm, advanced as it is, fails to explain the song’s high popularity relative to its unimpressive position at No. 53 on Billboard’s Hot 100 chart. But we’re guessing video spoofs related to the song ( la gangsta chipmonks and cholas) may be keeping interest strong.

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I Love New York Dating Tips

Do you lack in the art of love? Don’t worry. New York’s here to help. Every week, we will post hilarious clips that cull valuable dating tips from the show. Who said I Love New York isn’t educational? Watch and learn!