This is the end, my friends. The NYC ladies are wrapping up their time at the Miami Monkey, but their exit is not without a little drama, skin and screaming. That’s how they do! Here are your final five must-see moments from the Monkey ladies. May their futures shine brighter than Morgan’s missing $7000 ring (may it rest in peace).
1. Skin Party! Ang finally gets the event of her dreams, with a skimpy string bikini fashionshow. The highlight, of course, is not the scantily clad women onstage, but Nate and Ryan’s reactions to their frenemies busting a move while wearing next to nothing.
What’s this – more shouting, screaming and swearing at the Miami Monkey? You don’t say?! This week, Morgan is furious because yada yada yada, a bunch of women wear bikinis, and Cristina accuses Morgan of being an escort. Wait, say what?!
Check out the playlist above for our five most memorable moments from this week’s show, including Cristina struggling to describe “Morgan’s Miami tits.”
Hey, she said it, not us. Watch!
This week, the Miami Monkeyteam partakes in their two favorite pastimes: wining and whining! Salud! Let’s toast to these top moments, shall we?
1. Clink clink, sip sip, glug glug! Repeat!Ang goes wine tasting to test out her competition, and test she does!
Tensions are running as high as Ang’s heels at the Miami Monkey, with so much drama it’s like a high school theater club up in here. Or as Ryan says, in the understatement of the century: “We’re from New York; we’re not relaxed people. We’re very high strung.”
And now, your top 5 moments of wonderful cray:
1. Ryan apologizes to Morgan. Wait, say that again?! Ryan. Apologized. To. Morgan!?!? Yes, you heard that right – the two enemies buried the hatchet and then proceeded to talk sh*t about other people, specifically Cristina and Marissa. Later on, they get together in their bikini tops to booze it up and continue the trash talk party. Friendship?
The Miami Monkey women are at it again! Surprise – the “voodoo” didn’t actually do anything, and the drama is crazier than ever. Let’s get into it, shall we?
1. Big Ang Wants A Big Gay Night
“Gays are good for bar business,” declares Big Ang, and so she enlists her sidekick Morgan to recruit pal Elaine Lancaster to organize a gay night event at the Miami Monkey. Morgan is excited, of course, because it puts “her name on the line.” MORGAN!!!! *shakes fist at the sky*
Forget Morgan – this week’s episode of Miami Monkey was all about Marissa, her midriff and her feud with the other ladies in the house. Ready to fight it out? Here are this week’s most important Monkey moments!
1. Marissa makes a scene. The Brooklynite beefs with Roxanne after she makes fun of Cristina, and we think she has a point. It’s totes unprofessional of Roxanne to mock her own employee — even if she did steal Patron and grind on her co-worker at a BBQ. But then Marissa starts complaining about having a migraine…by screaming at everyone. Ang hypothesizes that, “All that time without sex can make you f*cking nuts.” Think she’s right?
Tonight’s Miami Monkeywas ca-ray-zay – just how we like it. Wanna relive the magic? Check out these five must-see moments.
5. Ang throws a pool party, and her guests end up screaming in each others’ faces… or sucking them. Raquel and Ryan have a “sisterly fight,” but the real action is in the pool, where Cristina and Ryan grind all up on each other in a hot make out session as Roxanne, Ang, and her husband Neil watch. 50 Shades of Ang?
Big Ang may be the queen of Miami Monkey, but Morgan is first in line for her throne. She’s notorious on the show for her diva moments (remember the $7000 ring meltdown?) and ridiculously hot bod, which she loves to show off over on Instagram. Not that we blame her – if you got it, flaunt it, and Morgan does both. We grabbed our 15 favorite hot shots for the gallery, but be sure to peep her IG and her twitter for more of Big Ang’s favorite Monkey.
Morgan’s back, Ang’s tooth is missing, and Ryan’s grinding with Cristina on a surfboard. Yep, it’s this week’s most important Miami Monkey moments!
5. Morgan is back and working at The Monkey!Ryan announces – for the 800th time – her frustration that she moved to Miami to work at the Monkey and gets no love from Ang, who is obsessed with Morgan. But Ang is too busy shouting “I love Morgan!” while wearing her Team Morgan t-shirt to notice. Meanwhile, Morgan gazes at them all over her tented fingers and lets out an evil cackle. Mwah ha ha!
This week’s Miami Monkey was a glorious mess of WTF and OMG packed into one little hour, complete with missing rings, screaming matches, Big Ang shouting “Drama!” a bunch of times, and the reality TV line of the century: “By the way I have to fly to Puerto Rico, I’m being sued.” Say what, Cristina?
Let’s count down the Most Important Moments!
5. Snap Snap. The girls (and Nate) gather for a photoshoot from hell, in which they sex up and grind all over the bar for a photographer named Chrispy. During this time Marissa yells at Cristina for stealing Ang’s Patron, Ryan talks about herself nonstop, and Morgan shows up late for no good reason, loses a $7000 ring for no good reason, and then quits for no good reason.
Also: If you close your eyes, Morgan sounds exactly like Lindsay Lohan.