It’s over – the divorce drama and custody battle between Britney Spears and her ex Kevin Federline that has dragged for about a year now has finally ended. The end result? Kevin gets FULL CUSTODY of their sons Sean and Jayden. Britney will maintain her current visitation rights of one overnight and two visits each week.
You may recall that the couple started with a 50-50 split, which quickly turned into Kevin having sole custody of the kids while Brit hung with shady dudes like Sam Lutfi and suffered from various melt downs and bad weaves. Though they’ve successfully kept their custody case out of court for the time being, but the judge can always change things up, which means more drama for years to come. [People]
With all the frequent obsession over those puny, perfect Jolie-Pitt kids, it’s easy to overlook the other tots tumbling around Hollywood in their crocs and thousand dollar strollers. And while we’ve been distracted by what’s coming out of Angie’s womb in France, Jennifer Garner has been walking around farmer’s markets in Hollywood knocked up! The fresh-faced Mrs. Affleck is five months along, news that was inexplicably confirmed by her former Alias costar Victor Garber. Ben and Jen have already proven their skill at popping out adorable spawn, as demonstrated by their adorable daughter Violet, who looks refreshingly like any other kid you’d see on the playground guzzling organic carrot juice. We welcome another precious Affleck tot to ogle at in just 4 months. Also, we hope this means those divorce rumors were bogus. Right? [Us]
Wow, this sounds like almost as good a plan as fake-boning Alex Rodriguez for a sh*tload of publicity! Brit‘s already shot an appearance in Madonna‘s upcoming video, and apparently the aging pop queen wants her to show up on stage in one of her shows. But that’s not all! Madge reportedly is trying to orchestrate an appearance by Justin Timberlake as well (they collaborated on her album Hard Candy). A source reveals that, “Madonna is always trying to raise the bar and Britney and Timberlake on the same stage would be perfect.”
Madonna’s not trying to raise the bar, she’s realized her career is faltering finally, at fifty, and she’s using other people’s drama to keep her star from dying out. Why not just put out a good album again?
Normally, reading about Sienna Miller makes us sleepy. She’s so bland and predictable – bohemian outfits, a boob flash or two, and a couple of sketchy romances with older dudes. This time the formula’s the same – but she’s naked and the older dude just happens to be married. Fine! We’ll pay attention!
Sienna and America actor Balthazar Getty have apparently shacked up together in the Italian Riviera, leaving his wife and four kids (the youngest just 10 months old) reeling. What’s sexier than that! The pair have been making out all over the place, and the paparazzi have got plenty of pics as proof. The best – or worst – part of the affair is that Sienna has apparently taken an oath of permanent nudity. She has yet to be seen with a shirt on – which makes the pics of the couple that much more scandalous. Check out her boobs – and their love here, here and here. They are obviously NotSafeForWork – or Getty’s wife.
Heaven help us. All our favorite hotties in Hollywood are getting super fat for roles! How dare they? Megan Fox, for example, has revealed that she gained a whooping ten pounds for Transformers. She said,
“I should have toned up for ‘Transformers’ but I’m really lazy. I had to put on weight. I’d lost a lot of weight and got really scrawny, but I was told I had to put on size for ‘Transformers’ because Michael [Bay, the director] doesn’t like skinny girls.”
Now she eats “red velvet cake” and has dinner late at night in order to pack on the pounds. And it sure is working! Just look at that slender waist and tight butt – they’re massive! Another fattie freaking everyone out is Eva Longoria. The tabloids were spazzing recently because she’s been packing on a pound or two, and has turned into a big ol’ beast. But there’s a reason! According to People, “She’s making herself look like that as her character has let herself go.” And it shows! She looks like she swallowed a golf ball – or two. Disgusting! The only starlet not getting enormous these days is Kim Kardashian (see below!), whose boyfriend Reggie Bush is pressuring her to lose some weight, and even forced her to do beach-side hill sprints. Doesn’t he know those extra pounds are now in?
Or, he pretends to do so. Al Reynolds, who rode Star Jones‘ coattails into a big ass pile of her millions, has created his own YouTube channel to divulge all the deets about his life and his relationship with the infamous Star Jones. The videos are set up like an interview, with some lady playing the part of annoyingly cheesy tabloid reporter. It’s all very bizarre and contrived, which of course means it’s fun as f*ck to watch. Obviously the goal of his new channel is to garner good publicity – or perhaps, any publicity at all – even though no one really cares about this dude now that he’s not banging the former View co-host. But we did learn some interesting things: Al didn’t know all the wedding endorsements were ridiculous and thought it was just how celebs rolled, he and Star decided together that he would quit his job in banking so she could be his Sugar Mama, and while there is a pre-nup, but he can’t talk about it. Oh, and the once-happy couple doesn’t speak, obviously.
We were totally digging Al until he called their break-up “tender.” Not so into him anymore! Watch it here.
Awwww, look! It’s little Honor Warren, Jessica Alba‘s precious baby. As much as Alba and her permanent pout annoy the sh*t out of us, we have to admit we kinda love this tot. Her peaceful little face! Her full head of hair! We’re in love – dare we say we might even like her Mommy? Er – not so fast. Honor may be sweet, but Jessica is just so damn annoying. Example:
“I didn’t scream,” she says of giving birth. “It was really Zen.”
Blergh, of course it was. She probably was busy biting on her Balenciaga bag to keep from screaming. Everything Alba does is perfect and peaceful and totally ideal! “The labor was more like meditation,” she says. “I did yoga breathing. I was focused.”
Ugh, just like we’re focused on what an annoyingly perfect piece of ass she is. But still, the baby! So cute.
Well now we know for sure who the bad Kardashian sister is, and amazingly it’s not the big-assed tramp with the sex tape! Khloe Kardashian was not only busted for a DUI (Seriously, how the eff did we not know this?!) on March 4, 2007, but she then went and violated her probation. The poor rich girl didn’t want to pick up trash on the highway or attend her alcohol education program, so she’s going to jail for 30 days! Hm – trash or jail, which is worse? She’s more familiar with garbage (her reality show, for starters) so she should have just stuck with what she knows! Now she’s stuck with 30 days in jail, of which she’ll probably serve 30 seconds, just like Lindsay and Nicole. Good luck Khloe!
Her sister Kim had something to say about the whole thing, obviously, other than “watch our TV show!”
I have been getting asked all day if Khloe is going to jail. I know my fans rely on coming to my blog for the truth… Khloe wants you to know she was sentenced to go to jail in regards to her one DUI case last year. Khloe is ready and willing to serve out her sentence, no matter how long and where, and have this resolved. I urge people to learn from the mistakes of others. Please drink responsibly and it’s never acceptable to drink and drive!
Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman have split up after five years together, and no one’s laughing. Apparently their break-up was mutual, and their reps say, “Jimmy and Sarah will have no further comment.” No jokes? no funny videos? No fart sounds? Come on Jimmy and Sarah, we expect your misery to be A LOT more hilarious.
Maybe she really was f*cking Matt Damon?
Did Alex Rodriguez have his wife followed and her phones tapped? That’s what Cynthia Rodriguez‘s lawyers are trying to find out, and for the sake of the salaciousness of this trial, we sure as hell hope so. The baller’s soon to be ex-wife and her lawyers have requested “any reports you have received from a detective, investigator or any other person based upon surveillance of your spouse,” and “All tape recordings and other evidence prepared from tape recordings made in connection with any wiretapping or electronic surveillance conducted by you or others on your behalf.”
Legal pros believe that C-Rod’s people wouldn’t have made a push for this info unless they believed that her hubby had spies casing her home and trailing her. And yes, it was probably Jason Giambi doing A-Rod’s dirty work. He hid behind that giant moustache of his and snapped pictures while C-Rod drowned her sorrows in fat-free frozen yogurt. A Yankee’s gotta work somehow!
While they duke it out, the real winner in all this is Madonna, of course, who is relishing all the attention she’s gained from A-Rod’s downfall. She’s even planning on heading to the All-Star game today to stir up more drama cheer on her “just-friend.” A source reveals, “She doesn’t care about the press it will get – she loves it. It just gets her more publicity for her upcoming Sticky and Sweet tour.” When will we learn, people? It’s all about her. Always.