We’d never pegged Matthew McConaughey for one of those “I can make a cool million or two if I pimp my month old kid on a magazine cover. Suh-weeeeet!” types, but it turns out, Mr. Naked Bongos is all about they money! He probably figured out how many cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon he can buy with the cash he earned from shilling his kid, and started snapping pics with little Levi was half way out of the womb.
Even the birth was totally McConaughfied. “Contractions started kicking in,” Matt described. “I sat there with her, right between her legs. We got tribal on it, we danced to it! I was DJ-ing this Brazilian music.”
Oh crap. We had high hopes for this kid, but he’s probably already dancing naked in someone else’s crib. [OK!]
Wow – we never expected this one, but maybe there’s a love match to be found between two former reality stars! YBF is alleging that Idol reject – and more importantly, Oscar winner – Jennifer Hudson has dumped her longterm boyfriend to get with Punk, who you may recall as the beefy sweetheart with a brain from I Love New York 2! The blog even has a few pics of the two appearing in public together-ish, meaning J-Hud is getting snapped for the paps while Punk lurks mysteriously in the background. What do you think – weird coincidence, or true love?
Think you’re gonna get to munch on some popcorn and watch Madonna get nailed by A-rod (and A’s rod)? Think again. The rumored Madonna-Alex Rodriguez sex tape is bogus; allow us to break down why.
1. Madonna’s already boned on camera – or simulated it to some extent – numerous times since 1984. She’s not gonna go and do that again.
2. But if she were, she’d do it in the Kaballah Center, dudes. What’s kinky about doing the nasty the regular way on some guy’s couch?
3. There’s no way A-Rod would do it with someone who has better arm muscles than he does.
4. The tape reportedly shows the pair going for some oral action – supposedly with Madge doing the dirty work. Um, yeah right. I think we all knows who wears the pants in that “friendship,” and who would be the one taking them off.
5. Madonna is reportedly in the middle of a serious meltdown, threatening to walk out on her planned tour. She’s also been diagnosed as anemic and is suffering from a knee energy. She’s not knocking boots in her frail condition!
Omarosa appeared on Wendy Williams‘ talk show, and the two got locked in a heated competition over who could be the bigger bitch. While Wendy tried to take the high road (but then you know, called Omarosa “a typical angry black woman” ), O really went for it, and we think she won this bitch battle. Listen to her sweetly ask Wendy if she’s had a nose job – her manners are the meanest part about her! Wendy of course later said that, “Omarosa is a delusional, D-list, pathetic woman.” [AP]
The Dark Knightjust got darker. Batman star Christian Bale was arrested today, after his mother and sister accused him of assaulting them Sunday night. The battle alleged went down in his suite at the Dorchester Hotel, and while cops knew of the charges over the weekend, they chose to arrest him after the London premiere (seen looking like a pissed off family beater at the premiere in the pic above). A source defended that decision, saying, “It was a very difficult situation but it would have been wrong to have wrecked the premiere over a complaint which we don’t yet know is founded in truth.”
Or it would have made the premiere f*cking awesome, guys. Learn how to ruin celebrities for the greater good! It’s not like the movie is hurting for cash, but any publicity helps, right? [The Sun]
Things are not getting any better for our men and women serving in Iraq – they’re about to be invaded by Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. The pair are heading to Iraq to ‘entertain’ the troops, and are arranging the trip through Senator John McCain’s daughter Meghan. “My brother was an airborne ranger in Afghanistan and Iraq,” Heidi gushed. “It’s very important to me and important to Spencer to support the troops and go over there.”
We respect their desire to help our brave men and women in uniform, we just feel that our American troops deserve someone a little classier? Entertaining? Famous? Human? All of the above, really. [People]
“Holy sh*t. My career is seriously almost over. No one buys me as a movie star and that stupid assface Mylie Cyrus has stolen my spotlight as the terrible crooner everyone loves. But I need money! I can’t afford my Louis Vuitton dog-carry cases on just Proactiv money alone! Oh – wait – I’ve got it! I’ll turn into a country music star! Those people seem kinda dense, which means we’ll totally click! All I need is a cowboy hat and I’ll be a country gal. What is it those people say? Yee-ho? Yee-ho!”
Reinventing Jessica as a country artist was a GREAT idea, Joe Simpson. But unfortunately for you and your expensive hair-bleaching addiction, country fans have ears. And eyes. And TASTE. The “singer” opened for legit country star Sara Evans this weekend in Wisconsin, and while she begged the audience to love her by saying “I just want you to know that I’m just a girl from Texas. I’m just like you. I’m doing what I love and dating a boy,” they didn’t buy it, and booed the sh*t out of her! When doing what you love equals riding in a $60,000 Bentley and selling hair extensions, and the “boy” is a millionaire quarterback, you ain’t like anyone in Wisconsin, Jess! [Us]
Amy Winehouse‘s loveboat of a junkie husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, has officially been sentence to 27 months in jail for hooking Wino on crack and bloody ballet slippers. Er, or beating up a manager of a pub and then trying to bribe the guy for his silence. They’re both like, equally as bad. Blakey’s been in jail for nine months already, and his wife has taken out her sadness on the crack pipe and her weave. Amy looks like crap and acts like a lunatic, which means we’re in for a fun 27 months. Let’s head to the pub to celebrate! See you in 2011, Blake! [Telegraph]
Poor BritBrit. Just when she started to mend all her mental issues and split ends, her family has forced her back to work on a new album. Those Spears just gotta to restock their Cheeto supply ya’ll, and they need money to do it! But just because Jamie and Lynne are forcing their cash cow to start pumping out the musical milk again, doesn’t mean she’s happy about it! Britney’s pissed off at her peeps, and she’s expressing her anger in some new songs, in which she sings all about her beef with mom and dad. She’s not being coy about her feelings, either. In one song titled “ATM” she sings, “Hey Mama, I know it’s my cash you seek,” and “You know they treat me like an ATM, but y’all know that I’m too good for ‘em.”
Keep telling yourself that Brit! Just remember who got you out of that stained cheesy dress and into that, uh, clean cheesy dress. [The Sunday Mirror]
Brit showed up at a fundraiser thrown by Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy this weekend, looking better than ever. She’s so clean it’s scary! Check out pics here.