Posts By VH1

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Finally, Some Good News for Paris

Paris_goodnewsIn a crushing blow to all who believe in justice and light, it has been announced that Paris Hilton may end up serving just 23 days in jail — roughly half of her 45-day sentence. Nooooooo! Whyyyyy?

Well, actually, there’s a rational explanation: "Under Los Angeles county regulations she will receive good behavior credits at the start of her sentence. Provided she behaves well, she could be released after 23 days," reports a mouthpiece for the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department. Still, I ask: Nooooooo! Whyyyyy?

While the reduced-sentence is still up in the air, what is for sure is that Paris will be kept in a "special-needs housing unit," away from the general population of the prison. And so, it turns out that Paris has every right to act entitled because, clearly, she is entitled.

All together now: Nooooooo! Whyyyyy? [AFP/Yahoo! / Image credit: Getty]

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Blog Best-Of: Elijah’s Raw Power

Elijah_links- Elijah Wood is set to play Iggy Pop in a biopic. Naughty little Frodo! [Dlisted]

- Here’s something amazing: John Travolta actually makes for an uglier woman than Divine ever did. In Hollywood, anything is possible! [Crunk + Disorderly]

- T.I. shoots a video for "You Know What It Is." In this case, "it" apparently means "butt" and what it is is huge. [CONCRETELOOP]

- The freak is brought out of Jessica Alba thanks to Terry Richardson‘s photography. Finally, she is as trashy as she wants to be. [CityRag]

- Pam Anderson‘s nipple slips out of her dress. Isn’t it more shocking when Pam Anderson’s nipple slips into her dress? [Egotastic!]

[Image credit: Getty]

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How Lohan Can She Go?

Linds_deenSometimes, even if I’m nowhere near a TV or computer, even if I’m brushing my teeth or balancing my checkbook or digging up carrots from my garden, I get the urge to scream, "SHUT UP, DINA LOHAN." This woman’s fame-mongering at the expense of her family makes her the most visible stage mother of this generation. That’s quite a distinction to hold! Simply put, she is a disease.

Of course, I don’t really want her to shut up — she provides way too much entertainment whenever she makes the mistake of opening her mouth. Her latest interview, with Us, is short in length but long on idiocy. It was hard to pick just one quote that sums up the stupidity, so we have two:

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Celebrity Fit Club Preview: Biggest F***in’ Blow-Up Yet!

All the throwdowns from the current drama-filled season of Celebrity Fit Club seem like kids’ stuff compared to the clip below. In the uncensored snippet from the episode that will air Sunday, Dustin and the grizzly drill sergeant Harvey go toe-to-toe when Dustin’s weigh-in devolves into a screaming match. After Dustin threatens violence on Ant and then Harvey, Harvey goes ballistic with a multi-minute tirade in which he promises to "f*** [Dustin's] world up!" It’s seriously amazing that his head didn’t explode from the pressure.

After Harvey finishes screaming he says, "Now put that bitch on VSPOT." How could we not?!? Don’t miss this.

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Blog Best-Of: Demi and Ashton’s Demise?

Ash_demi_links- Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher might be on the brink of a split. That’s nothing a little Kabbalah water can’t fix! [CityRag]

- Ne-Yo confesses that he’s a butt man. Somehow this is not surprising. [Bossip]

- Ewan McGregor puts in a "huge order" for underwear that "helps to lift and promote the size of a man’s genitals." Because all those full-frontal scenes aren’t doing enough to promote Ewan McGregor’s genitals. [IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com]

- Lindsay Lohan has a nip slip. If that doesn’t make her hot, nothing will! [Egotastic!]

- Sanjaya takes part in a drag show. See what happens when you click your heels three times and chant, "There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home!"? [Dlisted]

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Paris Is Stressing

Paris_distress

For today’s shot of schadenfreude, you need to look no further than at the media’s favorite whipping girl of late, Paris Hilton. According to Paris’ psychiatrist, the entitled heir is "distraught and traumatized" over her looming 45-day jail sentence. The idea of Paris Hilton in discomfort is freaking iconic (hence the image above).

Still, this distress may actually work out for Paris, allowing her to postpone testimony in a slander suit against her brought on by nemesis Zeta Graff. But even if the shrink’s tale is b.s., it’s b.s. worth believing. Now when anyone asks where Paris is, we can all laugh and say, "She had to go cry." [People]

Related Content
News_20x9Play Our Paris in Prison Game!
Photo_20x9Paris Hilton Pics
Video_20x9Paris Hilton Video Clips

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Lindsay: Not Hot, Just Sweaty

Lohan_hot1

Lindsay Lohan has been named the hottest woman on the planet by the apparently blind people at Maxim magazine. What are they snorting? Lindsay’s stash?

It’s not that Lindsay is a bad-looking girl — somewhere under her porn-star extensions, raccoon eyes and leathery skin that would look saaaaad on someone 20 years her senior, is a pretty girl. Maybe. But hot? She’s virtually sexless. Even her rack, once impressive in a look-but-don’t-Lolita kinda way, now fails to inspire. Lindsay Lohan completely renounced any idea of hotness the day she revealed that she’s packing cold cuts between her legs. For real: her firecrotch isn’t even hot.

Lindsay beat out Jessica Alba (No. 2) and Scarlett Johansson (No. 3) for the top spot, in something of a superficial travesty. Need more proof of Lindsay’s not-hotness? Check out the shots below the jump. The best is the one in which she’s blowing a kiss. She’s going for Marilyn Monroe and ends up Marilyn Mongross.

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