Paris Hilton‘s 45-day jail sentence is so sensational that people we haven’t heard from since at least before the word "blog" was invented are stepping up to snark. The funniest comes from notorious ex-con Patty Hearst, who contacted TMZ.com to deny a report that she’s giving Paris advice. Instead, she takes the opportunity to riff on Paris’ recent misfortune: "I must say that my heart goes out to the inmates of the Century Regional Detention Center. Forty-five days with Paris Hilton and the attendant publicity seems like cruel and unusual punishment to me. Perhaps THEY should be petitioning the Governor for relief?" she writes. Hands down, this is the best commentary on Paris yet. Get this cult figure a blog, stat!
Patty recommends that Paris "read Candy Spelling‘s letter several times and take her advice to heart," which brings us to our next item…
Madonna? In a strip club? Buying lap dances? MSNBC is rather breathlessly reporting this latest information about the Material Girl almost as if they expect her to be chaste or something (here’s a hint: when someone puts out an art book called Sex that features photographs of that person having, uh, group sex, chances are she’s at least thought of hiring a stripper or two in her time). Apparently Madonna’s real goal was to audition dancers for a short film. She was also in disguise and drinking coffee! And, as if that weren’t enough, she asked the nubile hopefuls to read a few lines from a script before getting down and dirty. We can only imagine that conversation:
Madonna: Talk dirty to me. Anonymous peeler: Lady, exactly how bored are you?
Yes, the ubiquitous Lindsay Lohan is easy on the eye, therefore eliciting certain reactions from certain people. But it didn’t seem right that she spilled the beans about another Georgia Rule cast member and his instinctual reaction to their wet t-shirt romp on the front lawn. Didn’t seem right at all…
Our ramp-up to Rock Honors (May 24) always includes revealing chats with the music’s stars. Road Tales focuses on some the silliness that goes down when artists are on tour.
Playing outdoor shows can be a blast, but keep your eyes on the skies. Dangerous poop predators are everywhere, and each one is ready to drop a bomb during your big moment. Cyndi recalls an icky incident.
It’s not just us, then: Jeremy Renner, star of 28 Weeks Later, is terrified of his new movie too. The sequel to Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later takes place after all the initial "infected" humans (read: blood-puking zombies) have supposedly died out, and a U.S.-led NATO force is reintroducing citizens to a freshly secured Britain. The military, of course, is wrong about the infection, and when all hell breaks loose, it’s Renner as Doyle, a super-marine, who attempts to save the day. This isn’t Renner’s first ride round the horror rodeo: He’s guest-starred on Angel, played serial cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer and has even written a script about werewolves. Singing werewolves. In Seattle. Scary? Maybe not so much. But we caught him on tape talking about some truly frightening things. Take a look after the jump.
The normally sedate audience at Boston Pops in Beantown’s Symphony Hall was treated to more than just guest star Ben Folds last night. A fight broke out in the balcony, apparently between one man arguing with another about the volume of his voice. Way to wreck a good time, buddy. Witnesses report hearing a couple of screams, and then seeing the fight go down — which wound up with one guy shirtless. No injuries were reported, although when the altercation went down, the conductor stopped the performance. Also: No word on whether or not the audience started to chant, "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Wonder about violence in America while watching footage here.
Georgia Rule opens tomorrow, and as its star Lindsay Lohan was signing autographs at the New York premiere yesterday, she was almost mowed-down by a cab. The driver hit the brakes just in time, halting mere feet from the party-prone celeb. Call it poor traffic judgement by Linds. Maybe she had her mind on her new pal, Brit TV dude Calum Best. People magazine believes that, after a "discreet kiss" and some clubbing, the two are one. Or maybe she was thinking about her chat with David Letterman – that’s where she admitted that she was a bit obnoxious and "immature" on the Georgia Rule set. Whichever, we’re wishing LaLo is more careful crossing the street. Someone with a suspended driver’s license might blow by and knock her for a loop.
Our ramp-up to Rock Honors (May 24) always includes revealing chats with the music’s stars. Clips for "With Honors" usually find the artists spilling some career secrets.
We always knew that Heart’s "Crazy On You" had a great attack. But what we didn’t know is that part of it was clipped from the Moody Blues. If that’s a stretch, just chalk it up to the fact that ideas can come from anywhere. Check out Ann and Nancy Wilson explaining the origins of their hit.
Ever wonder what Prince smells like? Assuring that "Purple Will Reign," the digit-obsessed singer will release a new fragrance called 3121 — not coincidentally the name of his last album. The perfume, available on the auspicious July 7th, is said to be "a kaleidoscope of rich florals…Xquisite, Mysterious, Xotic." In addition to his foray into cosmetics, Prince will also play a grueling 21-night residency in London during the month of August, laying to rest any questions as to the 49-year-old’s stamina.