You know how every year the Oscars are crammed with gratuitous video montages and irrelevant performances when all you really want to see is the announcement of the winners? Well, last night’s episode of American Idol was a lot like that – except all we really wanted to see was the announcement of the loser.
Seriously though, a duet between Celine Dion and Elvis Presley? Jack Black singing Seal‘s “Kiss From a Rose”? An appearance from Tom, “creator” of Myspace? We didn’t need all that. However, it was nice to see Sanjaya again. It was kind of like being comforted by hearing the familiarity of an old song that used to drive you crazy.
Basically, we all got tricked into watching a star-studded, two-hour telethon
when all we really wanted was to hear the voting results, that all
through Wednesday’s show, was promised to be “shocking.” The couple
hours of altruistic sentiments of charity, warm feelings of
togetherness and helping to heal the world seemed like it was building
up for a HUGE let down for whomever would be sent home. However, it
turns out that the big “shocker” was that no one went home, and that
two people will be bounced next week.
Sanjaya Family Drug Cartel Exposed
Mom-jaya was caught with 310 marijuana plants, sis-jaya was arrested for possession and stepdad-jaya pleaded guilty to unlawful manufacturing of a controlled substance. [TMZ]
Prince Makes Paris Turn Purple
Hilton stormed off the stage at a Vegas club after Prince handed her the mic, asking: "Let’s see if she can really sing?" Ouch! [Us Magazine]
Sienna Wants Lesbian Role With Kiera
After Lindsay bowed out of film, Sienna Miller jumped at the chance for some girl-on-girl action with British babe Kiera Knightley. [Fox]
If you can’t wait for the White Stripes, have already checked out the "Icky Thump" leak link Idolator posted here, and the earlier news about Jack recording with the Raconteurs in Nashville made you salivate, then just check out Mr. White’s Coke commerical below. Thanks to Fashionista for finding the link.
- We’ve told you about this already, but Rihanna’s new video premieres tomorrow! At 10 a.m.! She’s added 14 extra syllables to the word “umbrella,” and boy, does it sound sweet-eet-eet-eet-eet-eet-eet!
- Former Phantom Planet drummer and acting whirlwind Jason Schwartzman has released a new solo record called Nighttiming. The first single, “West Coast,” is beautiful. So is the video, which stars skate legend Mark Gonzales. Only problem is that the footage wasn’t exactly Schwartzman’s to use. Ooops.
‘Last night’s American Idol was the first of a "two night TV extravaganza" known as Idol Gives Back, on which our heroes sang "life anthem songs of compassion and hope." That description may have given you back the meal you just ate, but really, the purpose of the night was to raise money through calls that Ryan Seacrest said will "not only save your favorite contestants—they will also save lives." Jeez, as though it weren’t pressure enough to have to choose between your favorite of the top six, now the voting process is a life or death situation.
America Dumps Heather Mills From "Dancing"
Her elimination shocked everyone, except Paul’s ex, who had a farewell speech tucked in her top. [People]
Cruise Orders Katie To Take "Mommy Lessons"
Tom has suggested his wife attends the Scientology Church to become a better mother. [Us Magazine]
Reese to Aniston: Stay Away From Jake
Pics of Jen and Jake Gyllenhaal sharing a kiss at a recent awards ceremony have Witherspoon freaked. [Entertainment Wise]
Sanjaya: ‘I’m Not Just a Musician’
He wants to be a triple threat: singer, actor, and model. [MSN]
Blubbery Brit Has ATight New Bod
A belly-baring Spears was spotted last night, showing off her abs. It’s amazing what photoshop can do. JK! [TMZ]
Underwood Pulls Move on Cowboys’ QB
She helped Tony Romo celebrate his 27th birthday over the weekend. Hope she bought him some Stickum. [People]
Russian Pays $1.2 Million for J.Lo
A billionaire bought a 40-minute concert for his wife’s b-day bash. [People]
La Lohan Leaves Knightley’s Lesbian Flick
Lindsay threw a "Mean Girl" and quit Keira Knightley’s new movie, shattering any chance that their girl-on-girl action will make it to the big screen. [Fox]
Chris Rock’s Alleged Baby Mama: Scams, Lies & DUI’s
Cops say the woman has been full of s**t for years: stealing, partying, making up wild stories and even running an elaborate cell scam. [TMZ]
Tom Cruise to Detox 9/11 Victims
The actor believes he can cure those exposed to toxins with Scientology. [CBS]
Victoria Beckham Blows $4000 on Undies
Has posh decided to repay her hubby for spoling her? Enjoy David. [Entertainment Wise]
MTV Stars Too Boring for Porn
Jason Wahler ("Laguna Beach") and Lauren Conrad ("The Hills") are apparently so vanilla in bed that a porn company has killed their sex tape. [TMZ]
Only makes it stronger. The newly ex-American Idol contestant speculated about his future in the media — always a wise idea, kids — saying that he’d like to act, model and sing. He also said that given the violent reactions viewers had to his singing and hairstyles, he was considering hiring a bodyguard. The latest to weigh in? Idol winner Kelly Clarkson, who gave MTV this soundbite: "One of my friends [wanted] the Sanjaya guy to win. Oh, man, he’s crazy. I think [it would have been] funny, but I like Jordin Sparks. She’s passionate and still not jaded." That proves Clarkson’s a kinder person than Simon Cowell, who had this to say: "I miss [Sanjaya], probably in the same way as I would miss my favorite horror movie." Do you miss Sanjaya in the same way you would miss your favorite horror movie?