Johnny Soto, a member of the Native American Tohono O’odham Nation, now has the distinction of revealing the most bizarre story about Anna Nicole Smith since her death (even more than O.J. Simpson’s tale of slow-moving sperm!). Johnny claims that in 2001, he and Anna had an affair that resulted in the birth of his child, Marshall Black Deer Soto. Due to, uh, fame obligations and her commitment to squeezing in as much bizarre public behavior as possible, Anna couldn’t be with Johnny and Marshall, so she sent them $10,000 a month in support. Since she’s now, you know, dead, the money has stopped coming and Johnny is stepping forward to claim what his son is entitled to. Oh, keep in mind that he plans on donating whatever
he his son receives to his tribe. Right. He says he has the birth certificates to prove her maternity.
While this is weird enough as it is, it’s the details that make the story (KFC mashed potatoes and gravy as sex aids, anyone?). After the jump, we present Johnny Soto’s best quotes.
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Sure, it’s emotionally confusing to look forward to the anniversary of the day original emo heartthrob Jeff Buckley died. But that’s precisely what I’m doing. A collection of the more famous-in-death Buckley’s work, So Real: Songs From Jeff Buckley, will be released on May 22, marking a decade since the singer drowned in the Mississippi. This is the third posthumous release of the singer’s work, culling material from his albums Grace, Sketches for My Sweetheart the Drunk and Live at Sine. In addition to the audio component, the hour-long doc on the singer’s career Amazing Grace will be included in the package. [Billboard.com]
Disney announced at its annual shareholder meeting Thursday that it will produce a hand-drawn movie called The Frog Princess, which will feature "the very first African-American Disney princess." Gee, it only took the company, what, 70 years? Welcome to post-Jim Crow America, Disney! The flick will be set in New Orleans and should be out in 2009. So it’ll still be a while before you can say, in good faith a la Kanye West, "Disney does care about black people." [Hollywood Reporter]
- Maggie Gyllenhaal is set to replace Katie Holmes in the upcoming Batman Begins sequel. Are they going to scrub Maggie’s brain so that she can replicate Katie’s line delivery? [Dlisted]
- Chris Brown says the purported leaked nude pictures of him are fake: "I’m lookin’ at two pictures of two different dudes abs, like the ab muscle. And the thang itself look like a red hot dog." But what of the buns, Chris? [CONCRETELOOP]
- Nicole Kidman has been pegged for a Nip/Tuck guest spot. Nicole Kidman on a show about nipping and tucking? What a stretch. [MollyGood]
- Claire Danes dons "boyfriend pants" in a new Gap commercial. Who says cross-dressing has no place in advertising? [Best Week Ever]
- At least Tori Spelling‘s baby will be cuter than she is if this predictive picture is accurate. [CityRag]
- When Dice has to suit up for a TV appearance on Sunday’s episode of Dice Undisputed, will his jacket of choice be made of leather or…uh, leather?
- When the celebs on The Surreal Life are put under surveillance at a resort on Sunday’s episode, will there be tension, or will they go au natural?
- What could be in store when New York invites her men to play a little golf with her on Monday’s I Love New York? Exposed birdies? Fore-play?
Catch previews of Dice Undisputed, The Surreal Life, I Love New York and more at VSPOT.
You can’t have a comeback without faltering first, and you wouldn’t have Dice Undisputed without both of them. The Celebreality series in which comedian Andrew "Dice" Clay juggles getting his career on track and keeping his family in line has its share of dicey moments — some of them painfully funny, others funnily painful. Our weekly rundown of each episode’s highlights begins after the jump.
Madonna‘s former nanny is shopping around an 80-page proposal that would air all kinds of the pop queen’s dirty laundry, including dirt on her involvement with Kabbalah and her recent adoption. That’s fine and all, but isn’t this Lourdes‘ story to tell? [EW.com]
No, she wasn’t just getting fat. A few days after pictures of a decidedly voluptuous and belly-fied Salma Hayek made the rounds, an announcement has been made to explain the extra Salma: she’s pregnant. And what’s more, she’s getting married to luxury-goods fat cat Francois-Henri Pinault (click here for some pictures of Francois and some perspective on how lucky a guy he is to bag a babe like Salma). No further information, like how far along Salma’s pregnancy is or where and when the wedding will take place, has been revealed.
Whatever. Until I see a paternity test, I’m convinced that Penelope Cruz is the father.
A few shots are below from an event at Los Angeles’ ACE Gallery. These were taken before Salma blew up with child. Ah, the pre-bump days seem so long ago now. [AP/Yahoo!]
Kim Kardashian huffed and puffed but wasn’t able to blow down adult-film company Vivid’s plans to release a three-year-old sex tape made with former boyfriend Ray J. Despite her pending lawsuit and a Wednesday meeting with Vivid honcho Steven Hirsch, Vivid is going ahead with its plans to release Kim Kardashian, Superstar. The DVD now is set to hit stores March 21. Let’s see if Kim’s notoriety can extend into April or if her career will be tossed under the proverbial mattress and brought out only for, ahem, special occasions. [TMZ.com]
It’s hard to imagine how Antonella Barba spent Thursday night after finally getting voted off American Idol. Unless, of course, you factor in a fake ID, 2-for-1 Bud Light specials, girl-on-girl dance floor action, skinny-dipping, the LA Holocaust Memorial, and a digital camera. Then it becomes a little easier.
Impossible to say what’s on the docket for Ms. Barba, who’s apparently more popular than Youtube and Myspace combined. Maybe she should shoot another calendar – just throwing it out there. I mean, we’ve yet to see Sexy Easter Bunny, Sexy Pilgrim, Sexy Santa Claus. And then there’s Co-ed Naked Lacrosse Team Captain. Soft-core Cheerleader Chick, Sexy Beer Pong Referee, Saucy Catholic Schoolgirl. Nothing but options ahead. And her fantonellas (yep, that’s what they’re calling themselves) would lap it up.
One thing’s for sure: how awesome is it gonna be when some lucky guy, maybe on Valentine’s Day, maybe on their three-month anniversary, gets to say, "Antonella, do you still have those thigh-high black boots from your finale performance?" And she’s gonna say, "Yes, yes I do still have those boots. Want me to put ‘em on and meet you in the bathroom?"
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Brash, divisive and almost ready-to-own, Dreamgirls is headed for your DVD player. The movie musical is set for home-viewing release on May 1, in two versions. A single disc will include 12 extended musical numbers and alternate scenes, as well as a never-before-seen performance from Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson. Bringing things crashing over the top will be a two-disc, "Showstopper Edition" release, which will feature featurettes, screen tests and 12 previously unseen musical numbers. Because, you know, if there’s anything that movie needs besides bigger hair, it’s more music. [DVDActive]
Kal Penn (Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, the just-released The Namesake), may soon be punching in full time on TV. He’s signed on to star alongside Grey’s Anatomy‘s Kali Rocha in the ABC comedy pilot The Calling, in which he’ll play a paramedic. Maybe Kal will be more satisfied with this gig than he was with his spot on 24, in which he, an Indian-American, was drafted to play a terrorist. He says in this week’s New York magazine: "I have a huge political problem with the  role. It was essentially accepting a form of racial profiling. I think it’s repulsive." Here’s hoping The Calling isn’t so gross. [Hollywood Reporter/Reuters]