Canadians love to make fun of Fergie. First Alanis Morissette made a funny Interweb video with her morose cover of “My Humps.” Now super-rude sex rapper Peaches has created a video that mocks Alanis mocking Fergie. (It’s very meta, a distinctly Canadian state of mind.) It’s called “My Dumps” and it’s not really safe for work, unless you work for the Department of Sanitation.
Who made the better spoof: Alanis or Peaches?
The Malakar era is kaput. The pony-hawking, bandana-wearing, utra-pitchy and mildly cute Sanjaya has been pushed through American Idol’s trap door. "Sanjaya is love" said mentor Diana Ross a few weeks ago. Sure, we’ll agree. And now he’s history, too. "Let’s give ‘em something to talk about," squeeked the singer while ruining Bonnie Raitt’s lustful tune on last night’s show, "other than hair." For the last six weeks, he coifed his way to fame. Wonder if Chris or Phil can pull that off in the next few weeks…
Chappelle Destroys Dane Cook
The comic shattered his Laugh Factory endurance record by performing standup for an insanely long time: six hours, seven minutes. I’m Wayne Brady b*tch! [MSN]
Kim Kardashian Gets Low With Reggie Bush
Rumor has it, the sex kitten is teaching the football star some moves off the field. [Star]
Buy Paris Hilton’s Hamper on eBay
It’s in excellent condition…No DNA found inside, but maybe you have a better investigator! [eBay]
Taking a page from the playbooks of Joy Division and David Bowie, former Roxy Music singer Bryan Ferry praised Nazis in an interview to publicize his new record Dylanesque, due out June 19. Ferry told German publication Welt am Sonntag he found the aesthetics of Nazi Germany "amazing" and calls his London recording studio "the Fuhrerbunker." "My God, the Nazis knew how to put themselves in the limelight and present themselves," Ferry said. Several Jewish organizations were outraged by the remarks, forcing Ferry to retract them. "I apologize unreservedly for any offense caused by my comments on Nazi iconography, which were solely made from an art history perspective."
Does this affect whether you’d buy Bryan Ferry’s albums?
In addition to "Lovable TV Dad" and "Prince of F*cking Darkness," Ozzy Osbourne can add "Willy Wonka-Style Concert Promoter" to his job description. While promoting his annual Ozzfest — the metal event of the summer featuring Hatebreed, Lamb of God and Eurovision titans Lordi — Oz announced tickets for the fest are free. As if that itself didn’t merit throwing the devil horns, select copies of his first album of orginal material in six years, Black Rain, will contain a secret code that gives lucky fans the opportunity at priority tickets four days before the public gets their hands on them.
Will you buy Ozzy’s latest for a shot at good seats?
Penthouse Pet Rates Leto’s Sex Work
Krista Ayne slept with Jared, but only gives him a 7 out of 10 for his performance. [New York Post]
Jam-Master Jay’s Killer Found? Career Criminal Confesses
Police are close to charging a suspect in the famed hip-hop murder of the Run-DMC hero. [All Hip Hop]
Busy Birkhead: Dannielynn’s Dad Is a Party Animal
Mr. DNA likes to party with a gaggle of gorgeous women.
Fleetwood Mac fox and original California bad girl Stevie Nicks has slammed rumors of Lindsay Lohan playing her in a biopic about the singer’s life. In an interview in this month’s Blender magazine, the Gold Dust Woman addresses a question about La Lohan’s aspirations: "Lindsay Lohan thinks she is going to play me! But what the hell movie does she think she’s talking about? There is no book, there is no screenplay, there is no movie. There is never going to be a movie made without me, because it’s never going to be the story of me….So good luck, Lindsay."
The tartlet has never been shy about her Nicks obsession, covering "Edge of Seventeen" on her A Little More Personal album.
Tough break, Linds. Might we suggest Night of a Thousand Stevies?
Now and then our Tour Survival Guide checks in with rockers about life on the road. Here’s Rocco Deluca on gold toes and ELO.
Don’t Expect a Foreigner Collaboration
I was opening up for Foreigner, solo acoustic at the Sun Theater. [After I finished] I said "Thanks for having me, and enjoy Journey!" I got fired off the tour, the first show. The saddest part was that they filmed the show, and right behind me is a big kick drum with "Foreigner" written across it. The promoter thought it was kind of funny. He paid me extra, but then he told me I had to leave the tour.
Or ELO For That Matter
In L.A. the most random people will come out. The sitcom people, other musicians that you didn’t even know dig your sh*t. It’s a nice feeling. There’s been people that have come out to shows that I had no idea [knew us]. A friend dragged them, or they heard about our live show. I was at the Viper Room and Jeff Lynne from ELO told me that he thought I was the devil, because of the way I play live.
The line-up for this year’s now-stationary Lollapalooza was announced, and tons of your favorite bands will be there. Chart-toppers Modest Mouse, electro-wizards Daft Punk and critics’ darlings TV on the Radio will share stages and craft services with smaller acts like Cold War Kids and the Fratellis, while over on the Time Warp stage Patti Smith and Pearl Jam, patron saints of downtown and college cool, will play, making it feel like 1975 and 1993 respectively. The festival takes place at Grant Park in Chicago, where it’s been since 2005, and will be held til 2011. Three-day passes will run you $195, but honestly, can you put a price on standing shoulder-to-shoulder with thousands of fellow concertgoers in 100 degree weather?
Which artist are you most excited to see?
Justin Timberlake opened up in the May issue of British GQ about super-sizing it, Madge and the ladies in his life. Contrary to rumors, JT isn’t trying to revive ex-girlfriend and current trainwreck Britney Spears’ career: “Honestly, I am so far removed from that situation.” He is, however, joining forces with uber-producer Timbaland to work with Madonna, undoubtedly creating the soundtrack to the next two years of your life.
Also discussed in the cover story is Justin’s brief spokesman deal with McDonald’s — despite his claims to changing the image of the fast food chain, he’s not “lovin’ it”: “I regret the McDonald’s deal.”
Are you looking forward to Timberlake’s collaboration with Madonna?