Posts By VH1

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That Which Does Not Kill Sanjaya’s Career . . .

Sanj2Only makes it stronger. The newly ex-American Idol contestant speculated about his future in the media — always a wise idea, kids — saying that he’d like to act, model and sing. He also said that given the violent reactions viewers had to his singing and hairstyles, he was considering hiring a bodyguard. The latest to weigh in? Idol winner Kelly Clarkson, who gave MTV this soundbite: "One of my friends [wanted] the Sanjaya guy to win. Oh, man, he’s crazy. I think [it would have been] funny, but I like Jordin Sparks. She’s passionate and still not jaded." That proves Clarkson’s a kinder person than Simon Cowell, who had this to say: "I miss [Sanjaya], probably in the same way as I would miss my favorite horror movie." Do you miss Sanjaya in the same way you would miss your favorite horror movie?

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Hear + Now: Monkeys, Bjork, Queens

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Yeah, you’re all hopped up to hear the new Arctic Monkeys disc, Favorite Worst Nightmare. Lots of people are. Crank the volume to 11 and prepare to be messed with when "Brianstorm" comes squawking out of the band’s MySpace page. See ‘em live by jumping in here.

A morsel of Bjork’s new Volta is up for sampling on her page, too. The choppy "Innocence" is seductive in a robotic kind of way. The full CD doesn’t drop until May 8. The Icelandic one is does her thing on Saturday Night Live tomorrow.

The always impressive Queens of the Stone Age do the math on their latest track, "3′s & 7′s." It’s from their pending disc Era Vulgaris, and it’s currently streaming on their Web site. The guys will salute Ozzy Osbourne at VH1′s Rock Honors on May 24. Don’t miss.

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Thursday: Simon Explains His VT Controversy

SimonSimon Explains Rolling His Eyes at Virginia Tech Comment
Idol tough guy calls internet-fueled criticism "rubbish," but apologizes anyway. Maybe being smug doesn’t always work! [E!]

Snoop to UNICEF: I Want Xbox, Weed
The super stoned rapper refused to go on stage at a benefit unless an Xbox was installed in his dressing room. [New York Post]

Is Katie Holmes Leaving Cruise in the Dust?
She’s reconnecting with family and friends, and even talking to catholic priests. What’s next? [MSNBC]

Read more…

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Fergie Spoof Spoofed: “My Dumps”

Canadians love to make fun of Fergie. First Alanis Morissette made a funny Interweb video with her morose cover of “My Humps.” Now super-rude sex rapper Peaches has created a video that mocks Alanis mocking Fergie. (It’s very meta, a distinctly Canadian state of mind.) It’s called “My Dumps” and it’s not really safe for work, unless you work for the Department of Sanitation.

Who made the better spoof: Alanis or Peaches?

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Goodbye Pony-Hawk: Sanj Gets The Boot

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The Malakar era is kaput. The pony-hawking, bandana-wearing, utra-pitchy and mildly cute Sanjaya has been pushed through American Idol’s trap door. "Sanjaya is love" said mentor Diana Ross a few weeks ago. Sure, we’ll agree. And now he’s history, too. "Let’s give ‘em something to talk about," squeeked the singer while ruining Bonnie Raitt’s lustful tune on last night’s show, "other than hair." For the last six weeks, he coifed his way to fame. Wonder if Chris or Phil can pull that off in the next few weeks…

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Wednesday: Chappelle Destroys Dane Cook

Chappelle2Chappelle Destroys Dane Cook
The comic shattered his Laugh Factory endurance record by performing standup for an insanely long time: six hours, seven minutes. I’m Wayne Brady b*tch! [MSN]

Kim Kardashian Gets Low With Reggie Bush
Rumor has it, the sex kitten is teaching the football star some moves off the field. [Star]

Buy Paris Hilton’s Hamper on eBay
It’s in excellent condition…No DNA found inside, but maybe you have a better investigator! [eBay]

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Bryan Ferry Praises Nazis, Realizes Mistake, Apologizes

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Taking a page from the playbooks of Joy Division and David Bowie, former Roxy Music singer Bryan Ferry praised Nazis in an interview to publicize his new record Dylanesque, due out June 19. Ferry told German publication Welt am Sonntag he found the aesthetics of Nazi Germany "amazing" and calls his London recording studio "the Fuhrerbunker." "My God, the Nazis knew how to put themselves in the limelight and present themselves," Ferry said. Several Jewish organizations were outraged by the remarks, forcing Ferry to retract them. "I apologize unreservedly for any offense caused by my comments on Nazi iconography, which were solely made from an art history perspective."

Does this affect whether you’d buy Bryan Ferry’s albums?

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Oz Pulls Wonka With Ticket Giveaway

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In addition to "Lovable TV Dad" and "Prince of F*cking Darkness," Ozzy Osbourne can add "Willy Wonka-Style Concert Promoter" to his job description. While promoting his annual Ozzfest — the metal event of the summer featuring Hatebreed, Lamb of God and Eurovision titans Lordi — Oz announced tickets for the fest are free. As if that itself didn’t merit throwing the devil horns, select copies of his first album of orginal material in six years, Black Rain, will contain a secret code that gives lucky fans the opportunity at priority tickets four days before the public gets their hands on them.

Will you buy Ozzy’s latest for a shot at good seats?

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Monday: Leto’s Sex Work; Jam-Master Jay’s Killer Found?

Leto44Penthouse Pet Rates Leto’s Sex Work
Krista Ayne slept with Jared, but only gives him a 7 out of 10 for his performance. [New York Post]

Jam-Master Jay’s Killer Found? Career Criminal Confesses
Police are close to charging a suspect in the famed hip-hop murder of the Run-DMC hero. [All Hip Hop]

Busy Birkhead: Dannielynn’s Dad Is a Party Animal
Mr. DNA likes to party with a gaggle of gorgeous women.

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Stevie to Linds: Actually, DO Stop

Stevie Fleetwood Mac fox and original California bad girl Stevie Nicks has slammed rumors of Lindsay Lohan playing her in a biopic about the singer’s life. In an interview in this month’s Blender magazine, the Gold Dust Woman addresses a question about La Lohan’s aspirations: "Lindsay Lohan thinks she is going to play me! But what the hell movie does she think she’s talking about? There is no book, there is no screenplay, there is no movie. There is never going to be a movie made without me, because it’s never going to be the story of me….So good luck, Lindsay."

The tartlet has never been shy about her Nicks obsession, covering "Edge of Seventeen" on her A Little More Personal album.

Tough break, Linds. Might we suggest Night of a Thousand Stevies?