Our ramp-up to Rock Honors (May 24) always includes revealing chats with the music’s stars. Road Tales focuses on some the silliness that goes down when bands are on tour.
We knew that Motorhead could make the Earth quake. The bedrock metal on Overkill and Orgasmatron explains that talent fairly well. What we didn’t know is that bossman Lemmy could make it rain frogs. See for yourself.
The kindly folk at the Fader point to an online leak from hipster icon M.I.A.‘s new record. The track, called "Hit That," is probably the rudest, sexiest, dirtiest thing recorded in a long while — it’s too bad the slang sort of prevents those not used to a thick British accent from understanding what it is she’s saying. (You’ll get a chance to mull it over better when her record’s released on June 25th.) Note the clever thievery of "all I wanna do is zoom-a zoom zoom." If ever there were a lyric to steal, that, ladies and gentlemen, is the one.
Let’s assume Bob Dylan didn’t play "A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall" when he serenaded his grandson’s kindergarten class during a string of recent school visits. Let’s assume he stuck to "Froggy Went a’Courting," instead. Evidently rock’s still-vital legend is considered just another "weird man" by some of the audience members. They’re proabably not wrong. Who knows? Maybe he tests out new material on their yet-to-be-jaded ears. Here’s what one recent track sounds like.
Tell us: which Dylan tunes would go over best with the six-year-old crowd?
Last night must’ve been exciting for fans of the Young Guns films, as the two American Idolcontestants sent packing—Phil Stacey (the baldie) and Chris Richardson (one of the pseudo Timberlakes)—both re-sang Bon Jovi songs from the kitschy ’80s western.
We also learned that Blake Lewis (the other pseudo JT) and Chris Richardson are totally BFF and are psyched to tour together this summer. It’s too bad that Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell can’t take a cue from these dudes about male friendship, and quit gay-bashing each other. Their claws were out again last night, with Seacrest making a rather confusing insinuation that Simon’s girlfriend is his "beard" by saying she is an ugly "puppet" and that he his the puppet master. Simon got all mad, not about the implication that he has a beard, but that his beard is ugly, and was like, "If you’re going to be obnoxious, I won’t talk to you. Apologize. You’re being rude about my girlfriend." Later on in the show, Seacrest wouldn’t let the awkward exchange drop, saying, "As we’ve heard [Simon] has a girlfriend, and it is very serious. Trust me."
The Beastie Boys have been teasing girls since Licensed to Ill dropped in ’86. But they’ve grown up a little bit. To show how mature they are these days, they’ve allegedly scrapped their plans to reference the love of Jay-Z’s life in the title of their forthcoming instrumental CD. So no, the trio’s next album won’t be calledThick, Like Beyonce’s Leg.
In fact there’s damn good chance that the album is called The Mix-Up. But don’t rule out the idea that it could be Sweet, Like J. Lo’s Rump, Phat, LIke Diddy’s Wallet, or Insane, LIke Phil Spector’s Old Hair.
Our ramp-up to Rock Honors (May 24) always includes revealing chats with the heroes themselves. Here’s a recollection of on-stage shenanigans from ZZ Top.
The Texas Trio has earned itself lots of props for getting a big-ass sound. Three guys? With Billy Gibbons’ guitar wailing, sometimes they sound like six. But one thing’s for sure: It ain’t ZZ Top if Dusty Hill isn’t plugged in.
The Top 6 were mentored by Bon Jovilast night. If Jordin Sparks’ mother is any indication of the band’s demographic, then parents across America were absolutely thrilled that all of the contestants sang songs from the Jersey boys’ catalog. "My mom is gonna flip out," Jordin told the rocker. He grinned. Boomer superstars will do that to fans.
Our Tour Survival Guide checks in with rockers about life on the road. Here’s Meat Loaf on his beauty rest, soup preferences, and recording obessions. His upcoming tour dates are here.
Pissed Off and Pushing Petty. . . In the ’70s, I had Tom Petty opening up for me for awhile. I had Dire Straits opening up for me. I had Eddie Money opening up for me. There’s more: I just can’t remember them all. I was warming up my voice one night and Tom Petty told me to shut up. I guess the walls in the dressing rooms were thin. I’m loud. He was like, “Shut up!” I think at the moment, it pissed me off. Back then — that would have been early ’77, we were in Cleveland, at the Agora — I’m surprised I didn’t bust through the wall of the dressing room into [his] room, throw [him] back into mine and say, “Come here, you’re listening anyway!” That was my intensity, then. I’m pretty intense now, but back then — whew!
Beauty Rest Sleep is the most important thing on the tour – a key issue for me. [I have to get] eight hours, or we don’t move. The road managers get e-mails from me if I can’t sleep: “Bill, it is now 5:30 in the morning. I am not asleep. We will not leave at 1 p.m. I’m predicting that I’ll be asleep in half an hour, which means we’ll leave at . . . 6, 12, 2 . . . 2:30 p.m.” I’m a night owl on tour.