Tuesday: Suri’s Regular B-Day Bash

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suri.jpgKanye’s Ex Wishes Him the Best
Alexis Phifer confirms that Kanye kicked her to the curb, possibly to focus on his new tour. It will only make her stronger, right? [Us]

LiLo Blocks Ashley Olsen from her Gal Pal
Linds got pissed when Ash tried to greet DJ – and Lohan lover – Samantha Ronson, and freaked when Sam paid more attention to her DJ gig than her. Romantic! [NYP]

Tom and Nicole’s Son to Debut on Big Screen

Connor Cruise will make his movie debut in an upcoming Will Smith flick. [People]

Jess and Tony Romo Lick, Suck Face
Wanna see Jessica Simpson lick cake of her boyfriend’s face? Yeah, me neither. [Us]

Suri Celebrates #2 Like a Normal Toddler!

Tom and Katie threw their baby a small birthday party where guests colored on a giant card and went bowling. It’s the first normal thing they’ve done since her birth! [MSNBC]

The Celebreality Interview – Khia

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“If I had a Britney machine or a Rihanna machine, I woulda been the beautifulest thing in the world, too,” says the just-disqualified Miss Rap Supreme contestant Khia. Below, she talks about why an established rapper would go on a reality show like this, her relationship with Lil’ Wayne and beef…just don’t tell her we called it that.

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Britney & Kevin Caught Kissing

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britkev.jpgOh gross. It’s the biggest mistake the world’s ever seen since, well, they first got together: Britney and Kevin may be on the road to reconciling their love. They recently shared a kiss – their first since they split – when Kev arrived to pick up Sean and Jayden after a visit with their mom. “They were discussing the boys and how they’re doing,” said a source in the know, “when she suddenly got in close and kissed Kevin. She did it because she felt so close to him at that moment.”

Who are these insiders who just happen to be right there when Britney and Kevin lock lips and why aren’t they trying to stop this obvious disaster?! The spy also reported that K-Fed was possibly a bit shocked by Brit’s bold move, claiming that he asked her “Should we do this in front of the boys?” We’re sure it’s fine Kev – they’ve already seen their mom hauled off in a police car naked, as well as all that other crazy crap they’ve witnessed for two years. A kiss is child’s play to, uh, your children. It’s how they were made, afterall. [Star]

Kanye Dumps the Future Mrs. West

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Word on the virtual street is that Kanye West has dumped his fiancee Alexis Phifer, telling his lady love, “I just don’t think it is going to work out anymore.” Apparently not. The couple have been together on and off since 2002 after they met when Alexis was working as an assistant to Kanye’s stylist. He proposed in 2006, and the two were reportedly working on the rapper’s new fashion line – called Pastelle – together. We’re sad to see this cute couple split, but we’re even sadder to hear how Kanye kicked her to the curb: the super-rich star had the nerve to ask for her engagement ring back!

It’s Funny When Google Breaks

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Stop the presses algorithms. Google News, which compiles the nation’s biggest entertainment stories and lists them in order of importance, was topped this morning by a total shocker. Ready? Brace yourself: It will be seasonably warm today in a Sheboygan, a small Midwestern town. Wait! There’s more!

Sheboyganites can look forward to a week of near-60-degree temperatures, but rain is expected to spoil the fun beginning Tuesday, according to the National Weather Service.

As you can see by the screenshot below, the Sheboygan Press piece beat out the weekend’s box office results and news that Viacom is launching a premium TV channel for the No. 1 entertainment spot. Rain in Sheboygan has never been this amusing.

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Paris Hilton: Dogs’ Best Friend

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Paris, my future best friend forever, is allegedly doing a show on British television where she runs a dog grooming business. Paris’s Pooches will follow the negligent pet owner princess around London as she tries to manage the hectic life of a dog groomer with her partying. Says an insider, “Watching Paris act out her Los Angeles lifestyle, in which tiaras for Chihuahuas are of real importance, should be very entertaining. And she will no doubt be hitting the clubs and parties over here in the same way she does back home.”

Anything that could potentially humiliate Paris Hilton on television is gold, but I’m a bit nervous about what this means for her future BFFs. Will we be replaced with tiny dogs? Must I turn myself into a dog in order to become her closest confidante? Get into P’s inner circle is gonna be a lot harder than I thought. If only I had a tail. [DListed]

50 Cent’s Latest Feud: Alicia Keys?

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A little while ago, Alicia Keys told Blender magazine that she thought gangsta rap was a tool used by the government: “Gangsta rap was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other,” the singer said. After those remarks enraged many, Keys back-pedaled, saying she was misrepresented in the article, but that’s not stopping 50 Cent from taking aim at Keys.

“That statement changes my perception of Alicia Keys totally,” the rapper is now saying. “But the magazine is standing behind it, which means they probably have a tape of her in conversation saying it. It’s just not really a bright comment anyway.” And in a tactic not employed since 50 left the playground, he added: “If she don’t like that, (then) I don’t like that classical music sh*t she be doing.” So there.

Touch My Backstage Pass Again: Behind the Scenes of the Rock of Love 2 Reunion

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The girls are hungry and nic-fitting, having been unable to move from their seats in the studio for about four hours. They are cranky, having been at the studio on which the Rock of Love 2 Reunion is being shot for about 10 hours. And now, they are upset, having just watched Heather pound Daisy on the head five times with a closed fist. Everyone’s at their breaking point when a voice emerges above the grumbling crowd: “This is not a TV show. This is my life!”

It’s Big John, who’s angry that security didn’t allow him on stage to protect Bret during the brawl. But really, the sentiment could have come from any of the 15-or-so girls whose investment in this show was stretched to the limit at this point. Frankly, at this point I felt lucky to be a mobile outsider.

It wasn’t the only time that day, either. Below is a chronicle of my experience on the set of the Rock of Love 2 Reunion. From gossiping backstage to pre-fight chats with Daisy and Heather to a post-show interview with Bret, I did it all and lived to tell the readers of this blog whassagoinon.

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Monday: Kim’s Revenge Leaves Paris Naked

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kimk.jpgSandra Bullock, Hubby, Hit by Drunk Driver
The celeb-pair was struck by a drunk lady while driving near Boston where Sandy is shooting. Everyone’s okay, and the drunk is locked up. Phew. [Us]

Eli Manning Off the Market
Don’t worry football fans – he didn’t leave the Giants, he just got married to his high school sweetheart. He’s a regular Zack Morris! [Us]

Justin and John Step Out to Support Cameron Diaz
Cam’s ex-men joined the actress at her father’s memorial service. Now those are some classy former flames. [People]

Enrique Iglesias Can’t Get Married
Girlfriend/tennis hottie Anna Kournakova refuses to marry her boyfriend of a billion years. Could she be our hero, baby? [Yahoo]

Kim K. Gets Paris Back for Butt Comments
KK snagged her fam a bunch of free Ed Hardy clothes while on vacation in Mexico, but made the company promise not to give any to her frenemy Paris. They look better on chicks with trash bag butts, anyway! [NYP]