Britney Better Bring it to Court on Monday

by

britneyjanuary11.jpgRegarding the above post title, “it” could and does mean many things. She should bring herself, obvs, and her best behavior. She should probably also bring her meds, some smokes, a lighter, a secret stash of Cheetos and a bra. Maybe her sanity too. Because Monday’s custody could very well be the biggest day in Brit’s career as a mom – and as America’s favorite past time. Britney MUST attend the hearing, and if she does not show up or is difficult during the process (according to some insiders), she’ll never be able to lock herself in the bathroom with her kids again.

TMZ also reports that firefighters, police officers and medics will be testifying in court, and the sheriff’s department will be on stand-by in case Britney freaks out in court. SO basically, Monday is going to be the best day ever. Brit’s back from her 24-hour Mexico vacation with her boyfriend, and the two spent last night romantically driving around and hitting up gas stations. Maybe they’ll stay int his weekend and prepare for Brit’s big day? Eh, probably just the opposite.

Kevin Federline Wants to Ruin Music Again

by

kfedalbum2.jpg

Just because everyone’s all up K-Fed’s butt complimenting him for being a good parent doesn’t mean we want to him to create more of his special brand of hip-hop. Does anyone really even think that highly of him? The only reason he looks so good these days is because he’s being compared to Britney Spears, and that’s like comparing a car accident to a nuclear disaster. And while Federline is wise enough to not create another album himself, he’s apparently hard at work producing what are surely Popozao rip-offs. An insider says, “Kevin has been actively producing, nurturing new artists and doing it all from his home studio, so he can be there for his kids whenever they need him. He loves the music business and is committed to making it a career for himself, even if it’s not as a singer. He knows no one will ever take him seriously as a performer, so he’s working behind the scenes as a producer.”

Okay okay, that’s kinda sweet, but isn’t music made by K-Fed just as bad as music performed by K-Fed? He should stick to what he’s good at – making babies – instead. [E Online]

Zac Efron Teaches Kissing 101

by

zac_efronThat tossled hair, the crystal blue eyes, those reportedly fake eye lashes. Ah swooon….as if all that weren’t enough, High School Musical Heartthrob Zac Efron is now dishing on his favorite types of kisses! Efron spoke with J-14 magazine, and gave its pre-teen readers a lesson making-out. “Be respectful of the other person and don’t just get on in there and grope all over the place.” Apparently, Zac’s favorite lip locks occur when he’s “taken it nice and slow.”

Zac’s least-favorite kisses? “When girls rotate their tongues around your mouth like a washing machine, that’s not a good idea.” Also: “Go easy and take your time. Don’t try to swallow the person by opening your mouth so wide!” Zac declined to comment on whether Lil Wayne was gentle, and how girlfriend Vanessa Hudgens rates.

Friday: Suri Cruise is Wise Beyond Her Years

by

suri-cruise.jpgJessica Alba Totally Psyched About Baby Bump
She says of her life, “It’s the best time ever. I have two movies coming out, a baby, a fiancé – everything.” This chick is the reason why girls hate other girls. [People]

Brit’s Kid Covered in Bruises, Bite Mark
Cops were worried, but it turns out Jayden got the bruises at K-Fed’s house and the bite from his older bro. And here we thought Brit confused him for a Cheesy Gordita Crunch. [Us]

Pam Anderson Calls Marriage: “Can of Worms”
Spoken like someone who gets married after knowing the guy from 2 months. [Us]

Katie Holmes Raves About Suri
“She’s a very strong woman,” Katie Holmes says of her daughter”…And really magical.” Um, and you’re a very creepy woman. And really brainwashed. [People]

Rosie And Elisabeth Make Up
If these two can become friends again, than world peace is possible! Though, their friendship is way more important than ethnic groups who have battled for centuries, obvs. [People]

Examining Rehab with Dr. Drew (Episode 1)

by

celebrity_rehab_1_0.jpg

Welcome to our coverage of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew! To recap the episodes, we’ll be running an interview series every week, which will allow Dr. Drew to delve further into the episode’s main points and issues. After the jump is our first installment, in which Dr. Drew gives us his initial impressions of each of the Rehabbers.

Read more…

Mary J. & Maroons Will Rock Pepsi Smash

by

mary_j_and_maroon_5

What could be better than seeing Mary J. Blige or Maroon 5? Seeing Mary J. Blige and Maroon 5! The Queen of Hip-Hop Soul and the Cali funksters are hitting Glendale, Arizona to play the NFL Pepsi Smash Bowl Bash. Expect plenty of top-secret, special guests joining Mary and Maroon, arena-worthy performances, and absolutely no boob-flashing.

Can’t make it to the show? We’ll be broadcasting it on VH1 on February 2nd at 9pm. Can’t wait that long? Check out our Pepsi Smash site, with tons of videos and performances by Mary J. and Maroon 5.

Related Content
Super Bowl Bash Pics: Mary J, Maroon 5 & Ne-Yo
Tom Brady: 20 Things You Didn’t Know
Hot Super Bowl Commercials
Pepsi Smash: Maroon 5 Can Hardly Wait To See Mary
Ne-Yo Kicking Super Bowl Smash, To

Tara Reid: Not Anorexic, Just Badly Dressed

by

tarareidjanuary08.jpgTara Reid, that sexy sack of plastic and peroxide, is all up in arms about accusations that she is anorexic. Speaking recently to OK! Magazine, she said: “I’m not too thin. I go up 10 pounds, I go down 10 pounds. I was thin for a movie that I just finished [the upcoming horror film Vipers]. Now they’re going to see me and say I’m too fat because I’ve gained 10 pounds… I can’t win!”

Er, we’re still going to say you’re too thin. But that’s not what we’re most concerned about here, amazingly enough. What traumatized us more than Tara’s gaunt look, is her recent choice of outfits. Her cheesy throwbacks to 2002 aren’t helping her look. Trucker hat? Tattoo-themed pieces? Belly jewels? We know her straight-to-DVD salary can’t afford her a stylist, but how about just a friend who tells her what NOT to wear. Or at least a mirror.

Check out the pics below to see what we’re talking about. [Images: Getty]

Tyra Banks is Suffering for Us!

by

tyra-011008.jpgPretty much everything that comes out of Tyra’s mouth is comedic genius. She takes herself – and everything she does – so seriously, that it only accentuates the campiness of her endeavors. So it’s hard for us to feel any sympathy when she complains about the hollowness of her personal life. Tyra is the new cover girl of this month’s Essence, and she dramatically unleashes her woes to the mag in her interview. “I’d go to work [on 'The Tyra Banks Show'], and women would be crying in my arms,” she reveals. “But then I’d go home and put my key in my door and … nothing. No friends, no husband, no children. I feel so full when I’m at work but so empty when I come home.”

That’s funny, because when we come home we feel totally full after we leap into Tyra’s virtual arms and watch her show on our TiVo. We’d suggest that she spend less time worry about our vaginas and more time fretting over hers, but then we’d be lost without her. It’s a vicious cycle.

The Wire: Everyone’s Going to Baltimore

by

2008wire.jpg

Everyone’s talking about The Wire this week. The first episode of the final season premiered last Sunday, and the battles of Baltimore (corners, schools, newsrooms) are on lots of tongues. If you’re not down with the HBO gem, there are lots of ways to ramp up. Here’s a four-minute distillation of a four previous seasons. Here’s a way to hear the new CD compilation that corrals the music and dialogue. Here’s a list of Marlo Stanfield‘s favorite tunes. If you want to read what’s on creator/producer David Simon‘s mind, this should do.

Who’s your favorite character?

Britney Spears Flees to Mexico

by

britneyspearspostcard.jpg

Well, we feel stupid. Last night we feel asleep giddy with the thought of running into Britney at our local Starbucks here in the Big Apple. Brit leaked the news that she was heading here to NYC, when she really hopped a flight – with paparazzi plaything Adnan Ghalib – to Mexico. Wow, punked by Britney! If only she applied those smarts to getting her life in order, she’d probably be doing okay. But you know – priorities! Apparently Brit was spotted buying fake Gucci bags and checked into a hotel, only to check out later that night, of course. Now, no one has any idea where the pair is. How about rehab?