A-Rod In Love: Madonna’s My Soulmate!

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Poor Alex Rodriguez. He should have known what he was messing with when he fell in love with Madonna. This is a chick who married Sean Penn when she was like, 12! You don’t fall in love with Madonna. She chews you up and spits you out, and your remains become art. But the Yankee slugger doesn’t give a sh*t, telling his teammate (Please let it be Jason Giambi‘s moustache) that he’s in love with the singer and that Madonna is “my (bleeping) soulmate, dude.”

Oh A-Rod, get over yourself. Madonna has a soulmate, and it’s herself.

Hungry for today’s latest on the A-Rod scandal? Here’s the scoop:

  • Lenny Kravitz was told by his manager (and Madonna’s) that he was going to “pimp out Madonna and A-Rod.” He disapproved and fired the guy, and then he ended up linked to A-Rod’s wife. Lenny’s pissed, naturally.
  • A-Rod boned a lot of chicks while he was married, and a few are enjoying their .000015 seconds of fame.
  • Madonna wants Cynthia Rodriguez’s lawyers to stop using her name. Really? How Lucky! Can we also stop talking about the Artist Formerly Known As Attention Whore?

Posh Spice’s Pajama Drama

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Victoria Beckham was caught off-guard and nearly faced appearing very un-Posh when she got caught up in a chaotic airplane drama/fashion emergency yesterday. UK newspaper The Daily Mail reports that a bird flew into the engine of the plane Victoria and sons Romeo and Cruz had already boarded, causing the engine to catch fire while the plane was sitting on the runway. Emergency crews were called to extinguish the fire; but it was Victoria’s reputation for always looking fierce and flawless that was about to go up in flames when the Poshest of the Spices looked down and realized that – gasp – she had already changed into her airline-issued pajamas and taken off her makeup.

The Daily Mail reports, “Onlookers say Posh stayed aboard the carrier for a quick make-over well after the other passengers were escorted off, and was taken back to the terminal separately with her sons.” Posh’s quick change had her paparazzi-ready for the photo op, where she -phew- looked put-together and glamorous and thankfully not a tragic mess of a pajama-clad, make-up free Posh. Perish the thought.

Meet Jamie-Lynn’s Baby

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If that baby could talk, she’d say, “Mommy, why the hell do you have five pounds of makeup on your face?” You look like Aunt Britney!” Luckily, baby Maddie is a few months away from chatting (and dare we suggest, singing?), and she looks all sorts of adorable hanging out with her 17-year old ma. If you’re interested in learning all about the baby’s schedule and feeding and blah blah blah, you can click here for all the sugary sweetness. But here’s the most important thing for you to know: Jamie-Lynn are her kid are perfect. “I had a perfect pregnancy and a perfect delivery,” the teen gushes.

If only she had had a perfect makeup artist for her photoshoot too. Can’t win ‘em all! [OK!]

Russell Dumps Model in Blog Post

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Hip-Hop king Russell Simmons and his model girlfriend Porschla Coleman have ended their new agey love, and Simmons supposedly sent her packing, finishing the deed with a lengthy post in his Huffington Post blog. In it he describes their veggie-loving connection and their yoga practice, which culminated in Porschla receiving her teaching certification thanks, of course, to Russell, who provided a scholarship at her yoga studio through which she funded her studies. But he’s now setting his pretty young thing free to downward dog on his own for a while. Here’s a snippet of his rambling farewell:

A little over a year ago, I met a very sweet and beautiful girl in Atlanta at a party for my book, Do You!. We talked at length about our vegan diets and common interest in yoga. She too was feeling the shift that is happening in America right now of people looking inward…Eventually, she decided to pursue a high certification of yoga that would… license her as a teacher of Jivamukti Yoga. It has been inspiring to see her work so hard towards such an impressive goal. Her name is Porschla Coleman.

He ends his post with ” Congratulations, Porschla, and thank you for the inspiration.” He forgot to add, “Thank you for letting me dump you and then try to make myself feel better by posting this rambling mess about how great you are. But I’m just not that into you. Namaste.” [BET]

Jess Forbidden to Respond to Pam

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A little while back, we told you about the Battle of the Blondes. Seems Jessica Simpson got Pam Anderson‘s bikini in a bunch when she wore a t-shirt that read “Real Girls Eat Meat.” The thrice-married, sex-tape-makin’ Anderson countered by calling Simpson a “bitch and a whore.” Jessica held her tongue, but friends are saying Jess isn’t taking it too well.

Described as “disgusted” and “beyond mad,” a friend of Simpson’s told British tabloid The Sun that she isn’t allowed to say anything. “Her folks told her NOT to make a big deal of it – as that would only get Pamela the press she’s so desperate for.” If it’s any consolation, Simpson can stuff her trap with extra bacon cheeseburgers, while Pam settles for attention from Criss Angel.

EXCLUSIVE: Britney Shooting Video For Madonna This Week

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Britney Spears and Madonna are going to hook up again, five years after they famously kissed at the MTV Video Music Awards. The “Gimme More” singer is reteaming with Madge to film a video segment which will air as part of Madonna’s Sticky and Sweet Tour, which kicks off in the U.S. October 4th.

A source close tothe projecttells VH1.com exclusively, “It’s being shot this week and it’s a video piece for Madonna’s tour.”

The pop-star-on-the-mend seems to be taking all the right steps easing back into show business slowly, with guest appearances on “How I Met Your Mother” and shooting footage for the Pussycat Dolls’ “When I Grow Up” video last month, which unfortunately was left on the cutting-room floor at the last minute.

Brooke Knows How to Sport a Bikini

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Brooke Hogan‘s living on her own, working on her singing career, and apparently not neglecting her ab routine. She took time out of her hectic schedule to strike a few poses in Miami, leaving little to her fans’ imagination. Oogle pics below.

Tune into the premiere of Brooke Knows Best on VH1 this Sunday @ 10PM EDT.

Flaming Lips Ready To Rock With Who, Film

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Avant oddballs the Flaming Lips are gearing up for their performance at next week’s Rock Honors, where they’ll be taking on the Who (a dream come true, for frontman Wayne Coyne). Known for their on-stage spectaculars, the band — who’ll be joining the Foo Fighters, Pearl Jam and Incubus in kneeling at the altar of the Who — will also be celebrating something else: after seven years, the band have finished working on Christmas on Mars, a concept film about the first Christmas on the Red Planet, starring the band. They plan on screening the film this summer at a series of shows.

So what to expect from the Lips’ Who tribute and their latest foray into film? Just like the band they’re honoring, weirdness and spectacle, and lots of it. If you can’t wait until next week, check out the craziest on-stage antics of rock and rollers here.

Flavor Flav: Sex at Six Years Old

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This might just be the greatest interview of the century. In a chat with Complex Magazine, Flavor Flav revealed all the stuff we wish we never knew about him – like the worst prank he ever played and the deets of his virginity loss at age 6. Holy crap. Read below for our favorite moments, and check out the entire amazing thing here.

On the time he ate a booger as part of a prank, and how he got revenge:
For the person that put the booger on my hamburger, I got him back by taking some dog sh*t and putting it on the Ritz Crackers and he ate that sh*t.

Discussing his most prized possession:
When we were over in Switzerland, they made a Flav Coo-Coo clock. And when it strikes three o’clock you got little Flav that comes out and say “YeahhhhhBoy! YeahhhhhBoy!”

Detailing the disturbing tale of losing his virginity at six-years old:
Where did I lose my virginity? I lost my virginity in the bushes on a box…A girl and me were having sex on a box in the bushes, in some big tall bushes….This was when I was real, real, real, real, young….I lost my virginity when I was 6 years old…Because you know we learned to have done the nasty back in the days, and me and this girl we experiment, we were experimenting, and my little joint got hard, I penetrated for about a few seconds.

Yeah, boy?