Nick Hogan Breaks Free…Kinda

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Hulk‘s son has finally gotten what he wanted! Nick, who you may recall was desperate to get out of solitary confinement, has been moved to a new cell! His current digs have a television (score!) and 3 other juvenile inmates. According to news sources, the Hogans had threatened a lawsuit over Nick’s prior jail accommodations. Between the divorce, this case, and the upcoming lawsuit against them, the Hogans are going to be spending a lot of quality time in the courthouse together. Think it’ll bring them closer together, or tear them further apart?

Heidi & Spencer Make Millions Off of Being A-Holes

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Working two jobs just to make ends meet, and yet you can barely pay your bills? Well then the news that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt raked in over $3 million in just two years solely from their work as douchebags might make you cringe a bit. How do they do it? Selling out, natch! The pair make a crapload not just off of their actual work on The Hills, but through club appearances, pictures, and horribly tacky clothing lines as well. Heidi herself has said that, “We are trying to entertain in every aspect of our lives,” and reiterated her aspirations to be Meryl Streep with better boobs: “I plan to win an Oscar. I’m very ambitious.”

But they aren’t the only Hillsies to make a pretty penny these days. Whitney Port, whose lisp is almost as adorable as her outfits, is reportedly going to star in a Hills spin-off, which will document her bi-coastal work for People’s Revolution. Will you watch?

Mary-Kate: I’m Rich And It’s None of Your Bizness

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Guys, stop pondering how many billions Mary-Kate Olsen hoards under her mattress. It’s none of our f*cking business how much money she makes, and she’s pissed we’re even curious about it. “It’s nobody’s business if I am or I’m not [rich],” she tells Elle magazine. Ohhh – somebody’s sensitive! She continues:

“I mean, if you want to have a discussion about fame and what does it really mean to be famous these days, what’s celebrity anymore? What’s media? That’s different. I have a completely different point of view about all this because I was never thrown into it. I grew up in it. It wasn’t something that I aspired to. It’s just something I knew. For me, I just worked. I had a job. I’ve had a job for 21 years.”

MK is right. She is such a hard worker! We should focus on THAT instead of all her dough. Except…she makes it kinda hard for us to avoid her ridiculous wealth, because she spends all her down time flaunting it. Don’t want us to wonder how much money you have? Then don’t parade around town in $2000 boots. Common sense, girlfriend. [Us]

More of Mary-Kate looking like a million bucks:

Angelina Jolie: Best Mom Ever?

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Rich Cohen’s Angelina Jolie profile (the cover story of the July issue of Vanity Fair) is one big shaming of entertainment journalists and socially conscious parents everywhere. Seriously, everyone in those respective fields needs to quit now because you will never a) write a celebrity profile as gorgeous and insightful and b) raise children as culturally literate as the Jolie-Pitts. To the latter point, Angelina explains that adopting kids from all over the world (three different continents…so far!) was “absolutely intentional”:

“When I was growing up I wanted to adopt, because I was aware there were kids that didn’t have parents. It’s not a humanitarian thing, because I don’t see it as a sacrifice. It’s a gift. We’re all lucky to have each other.

“I look at Shiloh—because, obviously, physically, she is the one that looks like Brad and I when we were little—and say, ‘If these were our brothers and sisters, how much would we have known by the time we were six that it took into our 30s and 40s to figure out?’ I suppose I’m giving them the childhood I always wished I had.”

And not only that, her freaking stable of nannies resembles a mini-U.N.:

Read more…

Black: The Robot of Lloyd and Weezy’s Dreams?

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The video for Lloyd and Lil Wayne‘s summer jam “Girls Around the World” has debuted, and as she told us last month, Flavor of Love 3‘s Black is all up in it. She moves sensuously as light shines out of her eyes and…uh, that’s about it. But at least she looks hot! Not many girls pull off the laser-beams-from-the-eyes style with such grace. Check the full clip below. [via Idolator]

More from Weezy:
Ask Weezy: Your Questions Answered Part 1
Ask Weezy: Your Questions Answered Part 2

Weezy’s Rehab Rumor; Superhead Slams Violent Boyfriend

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The web was buzzing yesterday over a rumor that Lil Wayne (whose new album also has mouths flapping) had checked himself into a Florida rehab. It’s not that far-fetched, seeing as Weezy often raps about his various drugs of choice and is known to be a fan of sizzurp. But a Cash Money rep’s only response to the rumor, when called, was “Hell nah.”

Meanwhile, Weezy’s ex Karrine “Superhead” Steffans sent Perez Hilton a frantic message today accusing her current boyfriend, Darius McCrary (best known as Eddie Winslow on Family Matters) of attempting to run her over with his car (among other things). Eek. Such serious stuff for the former lovers. Maybe they need each other now more than ever?

Xtina Gets Dirrrty n’ Drunk During “Mommy-Daddy Time”

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We’ve been seeing an awful lot of Christina Aguilera lately, and it looks like she’s back to her old Xtina ways. Several times in the past few weeks the new mom has been spotted tottering out of clubs, in some cases being lead out of a bar by her hubby Jordan Bratman, or a pal. But the new mom is coming to her own defense, telling Access Hollywood that she needs to blow off some grown-up steam.

“I spend all day with my son and once in a while if I want to go out and have a mommy-daddy night with my husband, I am more than allowed to do that.” We imagine a mommy-daddy night might entail drinking a lot of adult juice, having a tantrum on the dancefloor, then someone driving her Big Wheel home. Then she and daddy will get ready for bed by taking their clothes off and hugging in various positions.

Star Jones’ Ex Gives Us a New View of His Bod

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Damn. Al ReynoldsStar Jones‘ soon-to-be ex – is looking surprisingly hot in this shirtless pic. Who knew? Now we get why she was down with being a sugar-mama for four years. There was lots of buzz that this snapshot was part of an ad campaign for Under Armour, but the company got their panties in a twist over the allegations and released this statement:

“I wanted to clarify what has been reported. Al Reynolds is not a spokesperson for Under Armour, nor is there any business relationship of any kind between the Under Armour brand and Al Reynolds.”

Okay we get it! He’s just a weird single dude who likes to take sexy crotch-grabbing pics for NO PROFIT. Star, get those divorce papers handy. [Crunk+Disorderly]

Leave Jamie-Lynn Alone!

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A paparazzi photog has been arrested for stalking Jamie-Lynn Spears down South. The 17-year old and her sexy older boyfriend fiance have been a fave subject for photographers ever since she got knocked up late last year. The LA pap, Edwin Merino, is denying the accusations, and said, “I’ve seen the young man Casey in pictures. I haven’t worked on them myself. The first time I got a good look at him was in court.”

Whatever! Where is the outrage? Why hasn’t Chris Crocker made a billion weeping videos about it? Jamie-Lynn deserves the support of crazies, just like her big sis! [Yahoo!]

Kim Kardashian is Blowin’ in the Wind

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Kim Kardashian is back in LA and boy is it windy! The most beautiful woman in the world hit up some cheeseball event with her sisters a couple of nights ago, and wrote on her blog how thrilled she is to be reunited with her sibs after shooting the flick Disaster Movie in Louisiana. Oh man – already that movie sounds like a bad idea. More pics of the Dashster and her horse tail hair below.