Exclusive! Usher’s Here I Stand Preview

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Last night, the VH1 blog got a sneak listen to the brand new Usher album, Here I Stand (which, starting Tuesday, you all will be able to listen to a full week before it’s release). With his first release in four years, following a baby, babymama and some serious drama, Usher bounces between the polls of undying fidelity and absolute tom-catting, but all of it is quality stuff. Though he’s been away for a minute, the singer let’s us know that he’s still very much a force in R&B. Here’s a track-by-track breakdown of our impressions.

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Delirious Amy Winehouse Mumbles to Mice

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Um, nothing says TGIF like this video of Amy Winehouse cooing weird words to a newborn mouse while wearing just her bra, natch. Pete Doherty even makes a crazy cameo in the end. You never know what’s gonna happen when you put two British drug addicts together in the same room. Magic could happen, but normally only sad weirdness ensues. Watch and feel uncomfortable.

Kim Kardashian’s Sexiest Vacation Ever

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You know, when I go on vacation with my siblings all we do is take pictures of our sunburns and bathing suit wedgies and wear ridiculous muumuu style t-shirts that we find for $5 from a local novelty shop. Turns out the Kardashian sisters do just the opposite when they drop by Miami for a weekend of R&R. Kimmy and Kourtney took some super hot pics of each other while on their last vacation – for more of Kim prancing around in an outdoor shower, click here and swoon.

Jeter, Mayer Score Home Runs With Maxim Hot 100 Girls

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If you’re bothered by the idea of a girl being nothing more than a notch on a guy’s bedpost, then read no further. Still reading? Hmmm. You may be interested to know that Sports Illustrated has calculated that Yankees star Derek Jeter and rocker John Mayer have dated 11 of the girls on Maxim‘s 2008 Hot 100 List:

We couldn’t help but wonder who has the better resume: Jeter or John Mayer? Jeter comes to the table with Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel, Mariah Carey, Gabrielle Union, Jessica Alba and Vanessa Minillo. Mayer counters with Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly and Cameron Diaz. We hate to admit it, but we’d have to say, advantage Mayer.

Without even broaching the subject of objectification, Sports Illustrated is so wrong. First, is there any combination of hotties in this world that tops Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba? Also, the magazine has its facts wrong: Jennifer Anison is not included in this year’s list. So who has the “advantage” now? Check photos of both manwhores’ girlfriends conquests and see where Maxim ranks them by reading the full list after the jump.

Jeter’s Harem:

See more photos of Mariah Carey, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson, Gabrielle Union, Jessica Alba and Vanessa Minillo at Maxim.com.

Mayer’s Harem:

Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly and Cameron Diaz at Maxim.com.

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T.I. and Tiny Welcome New Baby!

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It’s baby time at T.I.‘s house! The rapper and his longtime lady love Tameka “Tiny” Cottle have welcomed a new son into the mix. The little guy’s name is Major and he arrive early this morning, clocking in at 7 pounds, 4 ounces and 21 inches long. This is the second child for the couple, who have a son named King together. Seeing as T.I.’s still stuck on house arrest, he should have no problem playing Mr. Mom for a while. If he can’t handle it, surely T.I.P. can!

Lost: Last Night’s 734 Most Nail-Biting Moments

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“There’s no place like home.” Dorothy famously uttered the phrase in The Wizard of Oz, and it’s also the name of last night’s episode. The difference is that Dorothy realized everything she needed was right where she left it before the tornado hit. The Oceanic Six, on the other hand, are conflicted and don’t all appear to be thrilled about being “found.” And as I’ll explain below, several of them come to realize that everything they needed was actually back on the island. Perhaps they may have been better off as castaways.

SYNOPSIS

Jack is finally clued in to the show’s worst-kept secret, Hurley has a rockin’ luau, Sun owns Mr. Paik’s company and Mr. Paik gets ‘owned’ by her too, Sayid gets a blast from the past, On-Island Alpert finally makes an appearance this season, the freighter is raring to blow, Daniel goes from nerd to hero, Ben surrenders, and Jim’s proposal to Pam gets upstaged by Andy…oh wait – scratch that last one.

Full explanation after the jump.

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Ellen & Portia: Here Come the Brides

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Yesterday the California State Supreme Court announced that gay and lesbian couples have the right to marry, and following the news Ellen Degeneres and her girlfriend of four years, Portia De Rossi, announced during a live taping of her show that they were heading down the aisle! Hurray. The nuptial news was followed by a standing ovation from her audience, and will air today on her show. Ellen has called De Rossi her “perfect fit,” and she’s certainly a hundred steps up from the now-broke Anne Heche. Congratulations to the happy couple! Your new toaster will be arriving in 5-7 days. [Us]

Star Jones Talks Sh*t to the Haters

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“If I punched every b*tch who called me fat, it would be dead b*tches all up and down the highway.”

- Our new hero, Star Jones, at the reunion of The Bad Girls Club after one girl told another she was “a cheeseburger away from being obese.” Star was hosting the show and offered up the above tidbit of large lady wisdom in response to the diss.

Five Really Good Reasons Brit’s Not Preggers

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Heard the rumor about Brit having a bun in the oven? Us too. But we’re not freaking out over a little belly bump, cuz we know our girl can’t be knocked up just yet. Don’t believe us? Check out these five solid reasons and then try to challenge our proof.

5. The Jamie-Lynn Factor

You think Britney would get pregnant when her hotter, younger, more scandalously pregnant sister is about to give birth? Hell no! Brit shares the spotlight with no one, and there’s no way she’d let her possible pregnancy get overshadowed by J-L!

4. Ciggies Aren’t for Mommies

Say what you will about Britney Spears and how big she looks in this pic, but there’s NO WAY she is dumb enough to smoke while pregnant.

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