American Idol: Idols Give Regards, and A Few Other Things, to Broadway

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After a season of intentionally provoking our contestants into the most deliciously awkward, humiliating and shameful of situations, the producers of Idol have clearly lost all sense of restraint. On last night’s American Idol, the songs of musical theater composer Andrew Llloyd Webber served as the “music of the night.” Throughout the season, anecdotes and baby pictures have painted pictures of our contestants’ childhoods. Tonight we learned who had friends in middle school (Brooke, Carly and Jason Cook), and who spent most of afternoons organizing collections of Broadway revival programs (Syesha Mercado, David Cook). While Carly, Jason and Brooke all seemed reluctant about the theatrical challenge of this campy composer, Cook, Archuletta and Mercado were clearly up to the challenge.

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Mariah On Leona: No Similarity

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Though Mariah Carey topped the charts this week with her latest E=MC2, she may be feeling the heat from the new batch of talented singers, particularly Leona Lewis, who occupies the number two slot after dominating the charts last week. Mimi’s been asked about the similarities, and as you can see from the photo above, they do bear more than a slight resemblance.

In an interview, Mariah responded to the constant comparisons that have plagued her for the length of her twenty-year career, and also to Ms. Lewis specifically. “Honestly, there has been so many, this is the new her, and I’m like, OK, show me the new her…I’m not particular talking about this girl Leona, because I only heard her once and I didn’t really hear a true similarity, particularly in the style of music.”

Sounds like Ms. Mimi’s a bit defensive there. She went on to say that she prays to lose “the spirit of jealousy.” We bet knocking Leona out of the chart’s top spot helps with that, but as for her “no similarity” claim, really, Mariah? Not the hair? Not the young age you both started at, the multi-octave voice or the fact that you came up in difficult circumstances? OK, Mims. Whatever you say.

Wednesday: Bey & Jay Confirm What You Already Knew

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jay_beyonce.jpgMariah Says No To Babies
The Butterfly-loving chart-topper isn’t interested in having kids. Probably best for someone who considers herself “eternally 12.” [NYD]

Bey & Jay Confirm What You Already Knew
The first couple of hip-hop filed their marriage license. In Scarsdale. Jay then caught the 5:17 back to the city to play racquetball. [People]

Paris & Benji: Two Months and Counting!

The terrible twosome have made it through eight weeks already. They celebrated with dinner, a movie, and laser tag [Ed: WTF?]. [People]

Natalie Portman Gets Pissed [On]
Check out the bitch who did it. [Huffington Post]

Flavor of Love 3′s Black Got Back

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It’s no secret that some girls go on Flavor of Love in part to further their acting and modeling careers. Since Toastee’s scissor-leg chokehold fetish video hit the web during season 2, we’ve been keeping tabs on past and present Flav contestants to bring you the latest updates. (Remember Deelishis and Luscious D?) While Googlin’ around today (don’t ask why), I came across photos of Black, the lone remaining “New Girl” on season 3. And man, as you can see below, the photos show a backside of her that you won’t see on TV. Oh yeah, I also learned that she’s a professor or something, and is starting her own college. Click here to apply.

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Janet Reveals Sexy Girl Crush

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Janet Jackson never been the type to shy away from a good ol’ chat about sex (heck, she even told us her favorite songs to hypothetically make babies to), so when E! asked her who her girl crush was, Janet seemed eager to answer. Can you guess who the “Feedback” singer would want as her sapphic duet partner? Hint: she’s one of the singers pictured below.

Take the jump to find out.

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The Hills Poem-cap: There’s No Escaping Justin-Bobby

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Every week we re-cap Monday night’s Hills episodes with a series of haiku poems about the shows. Short skirts, shorter poems – Audrina approved! Add your own masterpieces in the comments section below.

Haiku #1
Heidi’s face melts
more and more each week. And wow -
Those white shorts? Not hot.

Haiku #2
Stephen Coletti
Was way hotter in high school.
But still, they should bone!

Haiku #3
Lauren hates our hero.
Viva la Justin-Bobby!
Go piss that priss off.

Here Come The Brides, B*tches

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Why is it that rich people can’t afford to pay someone to give them good ideas? Paris and Nicole are allegedly plotting to marry their twin boyfriends in a ceremony together, followed by a honeymoon in a pile of cash earned from the publicity wedding stunt. A source says, “Paris is doing it all for attention, as usual. It’s a publicity stunt, just like everything else.”

Let’s see, just like her other two(three?) engagements, her lost dog, her sex tape, her album, her perfumes, her various reality shows, her hair extensions, her jewelry line, her nightclubs, her book, her feud with Nicole/Lindsay/Britney, and her stint in jail? Yep, sounds like Paris! But haters beware – she’s been spotted wearing some sort of ring on her finger! Maybe it’s a purity ring! Paris Hilton taking a vow of chastity? Now THAT would be a publicity stunt. [DListed]

Miley Shows Off Bra, Boy & Bad Girl Side

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Squeaky clean singer Miley Cyrus talks about having “the best of both worlds” in one of her songs, and it appears she’s taking her own lyrics to heart! The Disney starlet and her reps spend a lot of time emphasizing her good girl image, but the internet is constantly telling us otherwise in the form of candid pics. The latest snapshots to appear in our browser show Miley showing off her neon green bra and cuddling with a young male friend who looks ready to jump her viriginal (maybe?) bones. One instant she’s the queen of the tween world, living the pure life that BritBrit couldn’t handle, and the next instant she’s trying out her boob flashing skills. Seems like the best of both worlds to us! [A Socialite's Life]