Alanis Thinks “You Oughta Know”

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You know the vitriolic anthem you love to sing along to in your car, the one that could just have easily been called “The Break-Up Song.” Now hear it performed like never before. In the above clip, Ms. Morissette makes her point in a chilling, voice-only performance. Still not clear on what precisely she’s saying? Check out our lyrics.vh1.com, where you can find the answers to all your sing-along questions.

Beyonce & Jay-Z’s Wedding: Our Predictions

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After obtaining a marriage license earlier this week, Beyonce and Jay-Z are allegedly making it official in less than 24 hours! We’ve decided to celebrate BeyoncJay’s wedding eve with a list of predictions about their nuptials. Think we’re way off? Let us know in the comments section of this post. Though her dress is TOTES going to be House of Dereon. Trust.

Maid of Honor: Solange, obvs! Though Kelly and Michelle will be jealous, they know their place: bridesmaid city, baby!

Best Man: Kanye West, if he can handle not being the center of attention.

Location: We suspect the ceremony will be low-key and at City Hall, with a big bash at the 40/40 club.

Wedding Crashers: Damon Dash, Nas, LeToya Luckett, LaTavia Roberson, Farrah Franklin. Nothing like a few former friends to spice up the celebration. Maybe Destiny’s Child will reunite as six right on the dance floor!

Uninvited and pissed: Rihanna - there’s no way Jay’s prodigy is gonna be allowed anywhere near Beyonce’s special day. Go see a movie with “BFF” Chris Brown instead, Ri!

American Idol: And Ramiele’s Gone

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While guest host Dolly Parton had only the sweetest words for all of our top nine, last night marked the end of the road for yet another of our American Idol hopefuls. The bad news? This week’s loser was totally predictable — a long-awaited demise anyone could have anticipated. The good news? After tonight’s elimination, we’re down to a solid core of professionals and wannabes, all with a shot in heck at some form of post-Idol stardom. In other words, start taking notes — the annoying faces that grace your screen this week may grace your screen as guest performers and talking heads on future seasons of Idol. After weeks of waiting, the true competition starts.

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The Celebreality Interview – Jessica

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“Just because I didn’t throw myself on guys and run around naked, I don’t think that makes me innocent. I think that makes me self-assured and confident,” Rock of Love 2‘s latest booted contestant, Jessica, tells us. Below, Jessica talks more about the stigma of youth, her true feelings for Bret and what it was like to get wrecked in front of millions of viewers.

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Thursday: Jay-Z’s Wallet Just Got Bigger

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LiLo would rather skip out on meetings with Timbaland than make an awesome album. Same old, same old. [NYDN]

Jake and Reese Play House in Cabo
The most perfect couple relaxed and maxed in Mexico with her two perfect kids. Vom. [MSNBC]

Is Britney heading back on TV?
Brit might return to her role as receptionist on How I Met Your Mother. Now if she’d only return to her role as hot pop star. [TV Guide]

Jay-Z’s $150 Million Deal
He’s got 99 problems but money ain’t one – and Hov’s about to change the face of the music with his new deal with Live Nation. [Reuters]

Jessica Alba’s Baby to Get Old Name
The Alba-nator is said to be naming her baby girl “Honor.” We like! [DListed]

Will K-Fed F*ck Up Brit’s Comeback?

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Brit’s still got it, ya’ll! But just as she’s about to comeback with a hot new look and lots of pap attention, she’s allegedly shacking up with K-Fed again to see if they can rekindle their, uh, love. That’s what Star is saying, and they have a source to prove it! “Kevin wants to take Britney away to see if there is anything to salvage between them,” an insider reveals. “When he suggested it to her, she told him she was ready to go anytime he was.”

Britney wait! Before you go down this hellish road all over again, take a second to look at how far you’ve come! You’ve gotten rid of your frapp addiction and we haven’t seen your vag in months! You’re reconnecting with your ex-manager! You wear shoes! You’re a new woman – or at least newer. The last thing we you need is a little dose of K-Fed to send you skidding down that hill again. Stay straight Brit!

Mariah Kicks Elvis’ Ass, Chirps Into History

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For every “Jailhouse Rock” there’s a “We Belong Together.” For every “All Shook Up” there’s a “Whenever You Call.” Punch for punch Mariah Carey has matched Elvis Presley in the singles department for years now – until today. Today’s the day she overthrew the King. With the arrival of “Touch My Body” at the top of the charts, the saucy R&B songbird kicks the ass of the Memphis master: Mariah now has 18 tracks that have reached the peak position. Champagne cocktails for everyone!

Next on the agenda: annihilate the achievements of John, Paul, George, and Ringo. The Beatles clocked 20 numero unos during their storied career. If Carey’s pending E=M2 bears the same kind of fruit as its predecessor, she may be the top dog of all time.

What – you’re tired of “Touch My Body” already? Crazy fool. Maybe this heavy-breathing remix with Rick Ro$$ and The Dream will revitalize you for a while.

Fly the Friendly Skies with Kanye Travel

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Stuck at home with a load of Louis Vuitton luggage but nowhere to go? Never fear – Kayne West to the rescue! The rapper has taken the first step toward world domination with the launch of his travel website, Kanye Travel. The site launched on April 1st but from what we can tell this is no April Fool’s joke. Globetrotters – and fans of Kanye – can book all sorts of trips and services through his new venture, though none of the traveling seems to be linked to his touring schedule. Who knows what inspired Mr. West to dabble in travel, we just hope it brings us closer to fulfilling our dream of watching him have a tantrum at the airport. [LA Times]

TMZ Can’t Write “Nice Stories”

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TMZ.com, Time Warner’s star-stalking operation, has an option in its navigation titled “Nice Stories,” positioned directly after “Drunks” and “Fights.” As evidenced here (at least, at the time of this post), “Nice Stories” takes users to a page with nothing on it except the following text: “Posted Dec 12th 2007 2:33PM by TMZ Staff.” Also, if you have your speakers on, you’ll be delighted to hear the sound of crickets chirping. We’re assuming Dec. 12 was the last time that a TMZ staff member could think of a “Nice Story” to write and that this alleged “Nice Story” expired, leaving the page sadly blank. Well, the VH1 Blog staff finds this unacceptable, so we’ve decided to pick up TMZ’s slack by adding some posts to its “Nice Stories” news desk:

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More on Janice Dickinson at Hollywoodtuna.com.

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More on Lara Flynn Boyle and plastic surgery gone wrong at VH1.com.

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