Toccara Puts the “Fit” in Fit Club

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toccara_mag_sm.jpgAmerica’s Next Top Model alum Toccara Jones is trying a second hand at Celebrity Fit Club (the new season, Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp, premieres tonight at 9/8c), and from the looks of her photo shoot in the may issue of King, reality TV does a body good.

In the article, the thick-and-proud part-time pin-up talks about her upcoming fitness DVD, sexual fantasies involving fruit and how this season of Fit Club is different than the others: “This season…isn’t so much about losing weight. It’s about our fit factor, which means gaining muscle. I wanted to prove to people that you could be healthy, athletic, fabulous and curvy without being a certain size or having to fit into this Body Mass Index that they have.”

True to form, she says her weight loss has only done positive things of her curves: “[It] just makes my breasts fit better in my bras. I don’t have the double-dip, like when you wear your bra and have that overage.” Fascinating. Even more fascinating: her cup size is (and has been) a G.

Check out her ample offerings in shots from the rag below.

And don’t forget: You can win a four-night vacation at Club Med Ixtapa Pacific in Mexico…and your own personal training session with Harvey. If you’re the sort of masochist to whom this would appeal, then get ready to have your mind blown: the package includes hotel, airfare, transportation and a variety of goodies. Enter to win here.

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Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp show page

American Idol: The Stripper Goes Down

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The stage is bigger, the contestants edgier, the crowd louder, the cross-promotions more brazen: It’s officially Finals Season on American Idol. Our big 12 took a crack at the Lennon/McCartney songbook this week, to such acclaim (and 29 million votes) that next week we’ll continue butchering the Beatles’ legacy.

But first things first — somebody had to go home last night. After some grandstanding from an elephant-nosed Jim Carrey (Horton Hears a Who — as Ryan pointed out in one of his more incisive gestures, also a Fox venture — is the cause celebre of this season’s Idol) and a group performance of a Beatles medley (which shows, as always, that Idol mints solo stars, not group talent), the bottom three were revealed:

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Thursday: Brangelina’s Birth Plans

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brangelina.jpgBritney Builds Jamie-Lynn’s Nursery
Big sister Spears is spending over $30,000 to decorate J-L’s nursery in Louisiana. That’s what crazy siblings are for! [MSNBC]

Brangelina Say Bonjour to France
The couple is house-shopping in the European country, looking for a place to nest with their new baby. Au revoir! [Us]

Girls Gone Wild Founder Free from Jail
Watch out ladies! Creepy Joe Francis is on the loose and looking to see your boobs again. [TMZ]

Pics: Top Model’s Terrible Mess
Damn! Check out what Tyra’s peeps did to their NYC home away from home. Fierce! [TMZ]

Wino’s Dad : My Affair Messed Amy Up
Now we’re learning the Winehouse family secrets that may have contributed to Amy’s issues. Blame the parents! [Us]

Archuleta F*cks Up Fabs: Nah Nah Nah

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It’s too bad that David Archuleta had to mumble his way through a few lines of that Beatles tune on American Idol last night. I’m pretty sure that John and Paul didn’t write “While you see it your way/nah nah something nah nah love will soon be gone.” So many songs, so many words, so much pressure! It ain’t easy for the dapper young TV kids. Archuleta’s been raked over the coals in blogville today, natch. To avoid all that anxiety the rest of the Idols are invited to hang out in our new Lyrics section. The real words to the real songs. Here’s the one Davey coulda studied up on. I’m sure he can work it out. And here’s a freebie for you ’80s fans.

Gilligan’s MaryAnn Loves her Ganja

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Are you looking for someone to crush on who likes to party, drives while trashed, and messes with the law, but find Lindsay Lohan to be too young? Well look no further! We’ve got your elderly bad girl right here! Meet Dawn Wells, who played the wholesome Mary Ann on Gilligan’s Island (Never heard of it? Ask your grandma) back in the 60′s. The aging actress, age 69, was arrested in October after cops pulled her over for reckless driving. A search of her vehicle turned up four half-smoked joints, which she claimed belonged to some hitchhikers she had picked up. Nice try, but Wells failed a sobriety test and was booked. She was just put on six months probation today – so all you hitchhikers out there better leave her alone! [E! News]

For more of Dawn’s devious ways, check out her make out sesh with a grown up Greg Brady (Barry Williams) – caught on tape!

Will Arnett, Funnier and Funnier

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Yesterday we showed you how Will Arnett (who, in another life, is funnylady Amy Poehler’s husband) and Human Giant get along in the bedroom. Today we’re showing you how the former Arrested Development star gets along on the red carpet — at the premiere of his new movie, Horton Hears a Who. He explains to VH1 News exclusively that a) American Psycho is his favorite book by Dr. Seuss and that b) he can’t read. Never would have guessed! Maybe that explains why he signed the contract for Let’s Go to Prison?

Real-life Gnome Caught on Tape

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olsen-troll.jpgSome teens in Argentina have come forward with video of what they say is a gnome that is terrorizing their town while wearing a small pointed hat and walking around sideways. The guys were hanging out at 1 AM recently and caught the creature with modern-day cellphone video technology (check it out below). Jose Alvarez, who taped the traumatic event, said, “We looked to one side and saw that the grass was moving. To begin with we thought it was a dog but when we saw this gnome-like figure begin to emerge we were really afraid. This is no joke. We are still afraid to go out…”

Let’s see – the pointy hat is surely an avantgarde fashion choice, the sideways walk must mean the gnome’s shoes are probably heels and therefore difficult to walk in…we’ve got it! The Olsen twins have landed in Argentina! Now the real question is - which twin is taunting these teens with their gnomish ways?

Janet’s Sick, So SNL Enlists Mariah

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mariah.jpgSad news, Janet Jackson lovers: The Discipline pop star has dropped out of performing on Saturday Night Live this weekend because she’s sick with the flu. In her place, Lorne Michaels and team have drafted Mariah Carey, who, considering her recent video with Jack McBrayer, probably has the better sense of humor. Not that humor is necessarily a factor in SNL‘s choice of musical guests (although Paul Simon dressed up like a turkey was particularly memorable, as was Queens of the Stone Age‘s performance with Will Ferrell), but Mariah’s sense of kitsch ought to compliment the inevitable jokes about Eliot Spitzer, rising oil prices, potential war with Iran, and penises. We predict a penis joke or two because Superbad and Knocked Up star Jonah Hill is the host. For those of you who haven’t seen Superbad, just know the following: Mr. Hill is a rather notable proponent of penis-funnies. Too bad for Janet. She would have enjoyed this one, we think. After the jump, please find a trailer for Superbad 2: Super Worse.

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Idol: Who Murdered the Beatles? Syesha!

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Tonight our new co-ed American Idol crew took the stage for an evening of Lennon-McCartney songs. After wasting a good 15 minutes drooling over Idol’s flashy new set — “This is our new mosh pit, let’s hear it for the mosh pit! These are our lights, let’s hear it for our lights!” — the increasingly lewd Ryan Seacrest introduced the night’s theme: Beatles covers. The competitive stakes were high and the musical motif a challenge: transforming some of what Randy called “the greatest songs in recording history” into three minutes of glory without sounding like a righteous karaoke fan or offending America’s collective pop conscious. For all of our contestants, last night was an opportunity to impress with the shtick they’ve been honing for the past few weeks — to tap into why American originally fell in love with the Beatles, and, with the help of their new stylists and coaches, present a gaudier, sexier and more refined version of themselves. Naturally, the results were vulgar. Let’s take a look:

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