We are all about autobiographies when the author has something to say – Bill Clinton, Ben Franklin, Rosie O’Donnell – these are important people with true tales that explode off the page. But a 15 year-old Disney Channel star? What the hell has she done that’s print-worthy? Apparently someone thinks her life events will garner Harry Potter-esque attention, and has offered Miley over $1 million to spill her beans on paper. Because her life thus far has presumably been extraordinarily uneventful, the book will mostly talk about how great her relationship is with her mom. ‘”I am so excited to let fans in on how important my relationship with my family is to me,” the Hannah Montana star said in a statement Tuesday. “I hope to motivate mothers and daughters to build lifetimes of memories together and inspire kids around the world to live their dreams.”‘
Interesting, that sounds a lot like another autobiography we once loved about a Disney star and her mom BFF – maybe Miley should ask Britney how life turned out after her book Britney Spears’ Heart to Heart? We’ve decided to go ahead and do the work for Miley, and are pitching the above book and below chapters as a great place to start. So what if she’s done next-to-nothing in her short time on earth – it can still be a juicy read, right?
Miley Cyrus: My G-Rated Life
- Chapter 1: I Was Born, Just Like You!
- Chapter 2: Thoughts on Red Lobster, My Favorite Restaurant
- Chapter 3: How To Take Pics of Yourself for Your MySpace Page That are Skanky But Not Slutty
- Chapter 4: Skirts! The Long and Short of my Favorite Garmet
- Chapter 5: My Parents – Why I Love Them!
- Chapter 6: My Parents – Why I Will Hate Them Soon
- Chapter 7: Virginity is Awesome – For Now
- Epilogue: Things Fall Apart (Eventually)
The horrors! Booty queen Kim Kardashian actually let herself be seen in public without makeup and the images are shocking! Scandalous! Unbelievable! Why? Because she looks a whole lot better without all the face paint. Give a click here and see for yourself – behind the cover up, powder, bronzer, lip gloss and fake eye lashes is a pretty girl! We’d like to plead with the, er, reality star (?) and ask her to maybe tone it down every now and then. It’s a lot easier on our eyes – as well as her skin.
To check out Kim in her usual makeup layers, peep the pics below taken at last night’s Absolut 100 party in Hollywood. [Getty]
Tila, we had hoped that the producers of A Shot at Love would have improved their casting process for season 2. It is clear that they have not. With this new batch of contestants, A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila 2 will be nearly indistinguishable from a Cops episode filmed during spring break in Florida — except it might be more dangerous. Frankly, we’re worried for your safety. Please reconsider moving your show from MTV to VH1. We can do better.
You started the premiere by asking the supposedly straight men and supposedly gay women vying for your heart to step into cages. This was a wise decision. But you should have kept them there. Allow us to remind you how your suitors behaved while caged (one exposed her breasts and another let his penis swing freely through the air as he danced):
After a season of intentionally provoking our contestants into the most deliciously awkward, humiliating and shameful of situations, the producers of Idol have clearly lost all sense of restraint. On last night’s American Idol, the songs of musical theater composer Andrew Llloyd Webber served as the “music of the night.” Throughout the season, anecdotes and baby pictures have painted pictures of our contestants’ childhoods. Tonight we learned who had friends in middle school (Brooke, Carly and Jason Cook), and who spent most of afternoons organizing collections of Broadway revival programs (Syesha Mercado, David Cook). While Carly, Jason and Brooke all seemed reluctant about the theatrical challenge of this campy composer, Cook, Archuletta and Mercado were clearly up to the challenge.
Though Mariah Carey topped the charts this week with her latest E=MC2, she may be feeling the heat from the new batch of talented singers, particularly Leona Lewis, who occupies the number two slot after dominating the charts last week. Mimi’s been asked about the similarities, and as you can see from the photo above, they do bear more than a slight resemblance.
In an interview, Mariah responded to the constant comparisons that have plagued her for the length of her twenty-year career, and also to Ms. Lewis specifically. “Honestly, there has been so many, this is the new her, and I’m like, OK, show me the new her…I’m not particular talking about this girl Leona, because I only heard her once and I didn’t really hear a true similarity, particularly in the style of music.”
Sounds like Ms. Mimi’s a bit defensive there. She went on to say that she prays to lose “the spirit of jealousy.” We bet knocking Leona out of the chart’s top spot helps with that, but as for her “no similarity” claim, really, Mariah? Not the hair? Not the young age you both started at, the multi-octave voice or the fact that you came up in difficult circumstances? OK, Mims. Whatever you say.
Chiba and Byata, you’re excused from answering the question above.
You too, 2States.
Mariah Says No To Babies
The Butterfly-loving chart-topper isn’t interested in having kids. Probably best for someone who considers herself “eternally 12.” [NYD]
Bey & Jay Confirm What You Already Knew
The first couple of hip-hop filed their marriage license. In Scarsdale. Jay then caught the 5:17 back to the city to play racquetball. [People]
Paris & Benji: Two Months and Counting!
The terrible twosome have made it through eight weeks already. They celebrated with dinner, a movie, and laser tag [Ed: WTF?]. [People]
Natalie Portman Gets Pissed [On]
Check out the bitch who did it. [Huffington Post]
You’ve already seen the tour de force video for Madonna‘s single “4 Minutes to Save the World” featuring Justin Timberlake — now see what the duo got up to behind the scenes. Follow Justin and Madonna around on the set in the clip above, and find out who’s got the dirtier mouth, and which George Michael song Justin spontaneously starts singing.
It’s no secret that some girls go on Flavor of Love in part to further their acting and modeling careers. Since Toastee’s scissor-leg chokehold fetish video hit the web during season 2, we’ve been keeping tabs on past and present Flav contestants to bring you the latest updates. (Remember Deelishis and Luscious D?) While Googlin’ around today (don’t ask why), I came across photos of Black, the lone remaining “New Girl” on season 3. And man, as you can see below, the photos show a
backside of her that you won’t see on TV. Oh yeah, I also learned that she’s a professor or something, and is starting her own college. Click here to apply.
More images after the jump. Read more…