Weiland Strikes Back: Velvet Revolver Is Over

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weiland.jpgCommenting on reports in the media that Slash had all but declared Velvet Revolver lead singer Scott Weiland persona non grata, the redheaded male sylph decided to fire himself. In a statement released to the press this morning, Weiland wrote:

“After reading the comment by Duff, Matt, Dave and the illustrious ‘GUITAR HERO,’ Saul Hudson, a.k.a Slash, I find it humorous that the so called four ‘founding members’ of Velvet Revolver, better known to themselves as ‘the Project’ before I officially named the band, would decide to move on without me after I had already claimed the group dead in the water on March 20 in Glasgow. In response to Slash’s comment regarding my commitment, I have to say it is a blatant and tired excuse to cover up the truth. The truth of the matter is that the band had not gotten along on multiple levels for some time. On a musical level, there were moments of joy, inspiration, fun…at times, but let’s not forget the multiple trips to rehab every member of the band had taken (with the exception of one member, no need to mention his name). Personally speaking, I choose to look forward to the future and performing with a group of friends I have known my entire life, people who have always had my back. This also speaks to my commitment to my music and my fellow band mates in STP and to the fans who I feel would much rather watch a group of musicians who enjoy being together as opposed to a handful of discontents who at one time used to call themselves a gang.

“P.S. Don’t be fooled by veiled trickery.

“P.P.S. Good hunting lads, I think Sebastian Bach would be a fantastic choice.”

Weiland is referring, of course, to the forthcoming Stone Temple Pilots reunion, which will only pave the way for Axl Rose to join Guns N’ Roses Velvet Revolver. Good times all around!

P.S. We don’t think this is an April Fool’s joke, but then again, we’ve noticed that metalheads aren’t the best with dates.

P.P.S. Axl has not indicated any willingness to become involved with Velvet Revolver, but he wouldn’t mind becoming a Pepper.

Hill & Barack: Sex On The Campaign Trail?

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It happens in Hollywood, it happens in the White House, and hell yeah it happens on the stump. We hear Pennsylvania is a pretty hot place. Here’s the latest confession from between the sheets.

Wednesday: Oprah Goes Overboard for her Dead Dog

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oprah-and-sophie.jpgOprah Honors her Dead Dog with a Show
Queen O dedicates a show on puppy mills to her beloved cocker spaniel Sophie, who passed away earlier this year. RIP, O doggie! [Us]

Idol Rocker David Cook Hospitalized
The guitar-playing crooner was sent to the hospital with heart palpitations after his Idol performance. Guess that comes with the territory of being a heartthrob. [Us]

J.Lo Ready to Shed Baby Weight
Jen is ready to drop the 50 pounds she gained carrying her twins. Our guess: it’ll be gone in a week. Money does magical things for celebs! [Ok!]

Britney’s Getting Skinny Again
The pop star is attempting to eat healthy and cut back on the sugar, and has lost 15 pounds so far. As long as she doesn’t lose her mind, we’re cool! [Ok!]

Leno Apologizes for “Gay” Remarks
The talk show host has finally apologized for an interview he did with Ryan Phillipe in which he asked the actor to give him his “gayest look.” [DListed]

Exclusive Usher Video Sneak Peek

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Here I Stand, Usher‘s new album, will be out at the end of May. But in the meantime its first single has already risen the Billboard charts to hit No. 1. “Love in This Club” is a slow, steamy jam with a guest appearance by Young Jeezy and lyrics like “They don’t know what we doin’/ Let’s both get undressed right here/Keep it up girl, I swear/ I’m-a give it to you non-stop/ And I don’t care who’s watchin’.” Despite that, the track’s producer, Polow da Don, insists the lyrics are not about having sex. This is confusing, to put it mildly. Anyway . . . we have 30 seconds of the video for you now. The clip features several super-famous guest stars, some slinky dance moves and a few stylish pairs of sunglasses — exactly what you want out of an Usher video. Check it out here before the video premieres next Monday, April 7.

You Name It: Playing Through?

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Lots of photos simply beg for a caption. This is one of ‘em. Whether it’s nasty or silly is up to you — we want you to feel free to read the minds of the celebs and weirdos in our images. This time: Our Rock of Love hottie Destiney gets down to business on the links. What have you got to say?

Jamie Lynn Makes Statement With Belly, Tee

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A few days back, 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears sported a controversial t-shirt on a trip to Babies “R” Us — a trip made no doubt in preparation for the upcoming birth of her child. In addition to an engagement ring, Britney‘s lil’ sis (who’s taking after her sister in making statements with t-shirts) rocked a shirt stating “The Rumors Are True” — which was further made clear by her belly. This got us thinking about some other t-shirts Jamie Lynn could wear on future shopping excursions.

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Rihanna on Chris: “Like Brother and Sister!”

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Why won’t these two just admit that they’re dating? We’ve all seen them cuddling in a pool, and everyone knows that in Hollywood if you cuddle, you’re like practically married. Celebs are crazy like that! But RiRi is refusing to admit that she’s got a man. She told MTV this weekend that she and Chris Brown are seriously, for REALS, just pals. “I won’t say that we’re just friends — me and Chris are really best, best friends,” Rihanna cooed. “We both started our careers around the same time. He is one of the only people in the industry … I trust and hang out with all the time. We are best friends, honestly, like brother and sister. If he was a boyfriend, I would say that.”

Chris echoed her sentiments, asserting, “They keep asking me, ‘What’s the deal?’ I’m like, ‘There’s no deal. No deal.’ We’re just friends.”

FINE! You say there’s no deal, we say you two are passionately in love. We’re all just gonna have to agree to disagree on this one.

Ask Brooke Hogan Anything You Want!

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Fans of Brooke Hogan probably can’t wait until the premiere of her upcoming VH1 show, you know, the one that documents the six-foot blonde bombshell spreading her wings in Miami. With no curfew. No rules. No Hulk. In preparation for Brooke Hogan Knows Best, everyone gets to ask the star some personal questions. Does she miss living with her family? What’s it like living in the public eye 24/7? Are any new boys in her life? Ask anything you want. We’ll forward them on, and Brooke will give her candid answers via video every week on VH1.com while her show is airing. — Matt Muro

PETA to Britney: Come Work for Us!

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The animal rights organization PETA has asked Britney Spears, notorious fur-lover and tiny dog hoarder, to come work at their headquarters for a day as a receptionist. Apparently her blink-and-you’ll-miss-it gig on How I Met Your Mother has inspired PETA head Ingrid Newkirk to bury the hatchet with the pop star. In an open letter published on the group’s blog, she writes:

“After seeing your excellent performance on How I Met Your Mother, PETA would like to offer you a real job as a receptionist. It could be for as little as an hour, and you would see—from the inside—why we are so concerned about issues like fur and homeless dogs and cats. As a “thank you” for your willingness to learn and help, we would donate $1,000 to a children’s charity.”

Chill out PETA. Brit isn’t ever going to “tell people about the misery that foxes, chinchillas, and other animals suffer on fur farms,” because her wardrobe depends on that misery! And without fur, what would cover up her stained dresses and her nipple slips? Seriously, what is more important – the life of innocent animals or the hiding of Brit’s vag behind a fur coat?! Yeah, we thought so.

The Hills Poem-cap: LC Friends the Enemy

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Each week we’ll be recapping the most recent episode(s) of The Hills with haiku poems. Peep our work and then drop your own piece in our comments section. Trust us – The Hills is much easier to swallow in small bites!

Haiku #1
She-Pratt has it all -
Bad fashion taste, bad brother.
No wonder she’s mean.

Haiku #2
Why won’t you hug me?
Straight up truth: Brody Jenner smells
like desperation.

Haiku #3
Fake? Real? We can’t tell.
Heidi’s robot eyes can’t cry.
Is Whit’s job a sham?

Haiku #4
Lo. Sweet, skanky Lo.
You deserve your own show, girl.
We love all your ish.