Dark Comedies & Elevator Cleavage

by

SidekickDiego the filmmaker is having big trouble with the star of his movie, Amy. The script is too dark and her hair is too oily. David the agent is smitten with the newly-arrived Troy, a Brit movie star being wooed by David’s enemy, Ruthie. It’s doubly irritating because Ruthie caught David eyeballing her low-cut dress in the elevator and deemed him “Captain Obvious.” Yep, the “Shining Star” episode of our weekly Hollywood tale Connected has dropped.

On the inter-office front, Emily quits in a huff, and filthy rich Tiffany finds herself as David’s new assistant. First thing he hands her? A Sidekick. Gotta stay connected.

The Duff Sisters Kick Some Ass

by

We’ve always found the Duff sisters to be pretty bland. Hilary is just like a vanilla version of an Olsen twin, and really the only thing to respect about Haylie is the fact that she’s never seem to give a sh*t about the constant criticism about her looks and sister-mooching. So it was seriously awesome to see them throw down again some asshole photographers who were stalking them at a hearing for their parents’ divorce. The sisters get sassy, and rightfully so. We like looking at them when they’re all drunk and fugly, but when they’re dealing with personal stuff that’s none of our business? No thanks. Leave them and their fashion mistakes alone while they deal with their family BS, please. [Socialite's Life]

Jessica Sierra: Knocked Up & Locked Up

by

jessicasierra.jpgLast week it was Hollywood darling Jessica Alba who revealed that she was with child, and this week, as the pregnancy announcements continued, we noticed that they seemed to kinda slip in celebrity caliber. Alba and Lily Allen might be A or B List-ish, but Jamie-Lynn Spears is definitely rocking the D List. And now the Z-List rounds out the celebrity baby train, with the depressing news that drug-addicted American Idol finalist Jessica Sierra is knocked up – while locked up. One of the stars of VH1′s upcoming show Celebrity Rehab, Sierra is currently in the infirmary of her Florida jail on a pregnancy diet. She’s also reportedly “ecstatic” and says the father is “a rapper.”

We guess congratulations are in order, right? Maybe this will be her chance to straighten her shit out and quit that whole ‘getting piss drunk and offering to perform fellatio on her arresting officer’ thing she’s into these days. We just gonna assume that her future kid was not conceived during her sex tape, cause that would just be all sorts of wrong (fingers crossed).

Apatow Addresses Walk Hard Backlash

by

It’s been quite the year for funnyman Judd Apatow. He’s the guy responsible for Knocked Up, Superbad and now Walk Hard, not to mention Seth Rogen, the popularity of Canadians in media, and probably had his hand in the mortgage crisis and Ahmadinejad’s performance at Columbia University, too! (We kid, we kid.) Anyhow, in the video above, he addresses the inevitable Apatow-backlash in a meta viral video that’s all about how pandering and silly viral videos are. The levels! It stars Apatow and some of his regulars: Justin Long, Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd and Craig Robinson. It’s amazing. Also, in a perfectly twist-y sponsorship treat, it features Rock Band. In case you don’t know, Rock Band is like the fun version of Guitar Hero. (Dear Rock Band: checks are payable to VH1 Digital.) Enjoy!

Ashlee Simpson Overshadowed By Own Sister, Now Britney’s

by

ashlee_simpsonPoor little Ashlee Simpson. First she’s second fiddle to big sis Jess, and Papa Joe’s least favorite child. In the pop landscape, Ash hasn’t had it easy, what with the frequent surgical updates and the whole lip-syncing thing. Folks don’t exactly think of her as an “artist,” but that was all supposed to change on Wednesday. Ash was going to make her big announcement, unveiling both the first video for her song “Outta My Head (Ay ya ya)” [Ed: Yikes] and the title for her latest album, Bittersweet World. The single, produced by Timbaland, reflects Ashlee’s latest desire: “I wanted to do music with beats.”

But all that went out the window when a certain someone’s 16-year-old sister went and continued the cycle of dysfunction by getting herself knocked up. ““Ashlee can’t believe this happened. She’s so disappointed,” a source told MSNBC of Jamie-Lynn Spears‘ announcement. Ashlee stopped by TRL on Thursday to talk about her record, saying “I kind of laugh at things a lot, so you’ll hear that on the record.” Let’s hope Ash is able to laugh at her marketing campaign being overshadowed by teen pregnancy. Hilarious!

2007′s Craziest: Larry Craig’s Crazy Legs

by

larrycraig.jpgSome gossip stories are too big to forget. We’re counting down the 20 biggest, baddest, and most ridiculous celeb scandals of the year. You’ll get a new one posted every day.

Let’s make one thing clear: Larry Craig is NOT GAY. That’s what he’s said over and over this year, so clearly that’s what he wants you to think. Nevermind that he was holed up in an airport bathroom known for cruising, making strange advances to the guy in the stall next to him with his feet. Forget that he pled guilty to a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge for his strange behavior, a fact that he hid from his wife, family and the entire world until the press figured it out in August. Disregard the fact that he showed the arresting police officer his senate business card and asked him, “What do you think about that?” And please ignore the rumors that have been circulating since 1982, his obsession with “family values” and support of the constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, and his desire to spank Bill Clinton for being a “naughty boy.”

Nope, not gay. And really, his sexual orientation is not the issue, nor should it be. Craig’s just a shady jerk – and after all that drama, still a U.S. senator.

Britney’s Worst Year Ever: September

by

britney_spears

You were there through the bad driving, the head-shaving and the Criss Angel thing. It’s been a tough year for our girl. No one could have imagined a mere 12 months ago that she’d create such glorious new nonsense every week. Some of the craziness escapes you? Come back every day: We’re counting down the events that made up the Year in Britney.

September 9Gimme Less – After days of speculation, MTV announces that the recently rehabbed pop star would make her triumphant comeback on the channel that made her. Unfortunately, Spears spent the night before the performance out with Diddy, staying up until 6 a.m. and skipped the dress rehearsal. Sarah Silverman’s pre-performance monologue, and what looked like a handful of sedatives derailed Spears: She bombed, moving through her routine like a zombie. The only person who deemed the performance a success was 50 Cent, who called it “a highlight…she worked it.” We believe that 50 was in the bathroom at this point in the show. [Us Weekly]

September 12Timbaland Says Apologize – In an interview with MTV News, Timbaland says that he and Justin will never work with Britney unless she apologizes. Timbaland remains vague about what caused the bad blood, saying only, “She knows what she’s sorry about. She needs to say, ‘I was wrong,’ and it’ll definitely move forward…. That’s all she has to say.” The producer then called her “big-headed.” At press time, it appears Timbaland is still waiting on apology. [MTV News]

September 17It’s Not Us, It’s You – Just hours after her lawyers quit, the pop star found herself without representation when The Firm pulled a Timberlake and dumped her because of her behavior: The company claimed that “current circumstances” prevented them from working with the enormously talented pop star. Current circumstances…could they mean the head-shaving? Or the erratic behavior that might be the result of a serious drug addiction? Or the barefoot-in-public-restroom thing? This is the second time Brit’s management has quit in as many months. [People]

September 23The Bodyguard – In a sworn deposition in the custody battle between Kevin Federline and Britney Spears, former bodyguard Tony Barretto revealed the torments of his job as her protector: He had to allow her to rub her breasts on him and grind with her on a dancefloor. In addition to sexual harassment, Barretto was charged with keeping her full of Special K (her favorite cereal), and orchestrating the shutting down of Rite-Aids so the star could shop in privacy. [News of the World]

[Image: Seth Browarnik/Wire Image]

Related Content
Britney Spears Artist Info

Friday: Nice Day for a Spears Wedding

by

jamielynn-1221.jpgAngelina Thinks We’re Obsessed with her Bod
Angie’s mad we got all freaked out by her skin and bones look this year. Just stop looking too thin and we’ll stop caring. [Us]

Is Jamie-Lynn Having a Shotgun Wedding?
Family members weigh in (oh, how the spotlight feels good!) on whether or not Jamie-Lynn Spears will wed her 18-year old sweetheart/baby-daddy. [People]

Jessica Alba Won’t Wear White While Pregnant
Just another knocked up Hollywood starlet who won’t walk down the aisle with a baby belly. [Us]

R. Kelly: Late for Court
The singer avoided arrest on child porn charges by showing up to court, but claimed the police made him late. Er, or he was too busy chatting up some kids outside the court house. [Bossip]

Ashley Tisdale Nose Backlash
The High School Musical star is getting a lot of hate thrown her way about her new, face-changing nose. Remember Jennifer Grey? Exactly. [TMZ]

Hottie of the Week: Mary J. Blige

by

mary-j-blige-hottie175×250.jpg
Photo_20x9_1 All Mary J. Blige Pics

The Queen of Hip-Hop Soul and R & B releases her latest record today, Growing Pains. By all accounts, it’s a fine addition to her already impressive catalogue, featuring singles like “Work That,” which you might have seen on the ol’ iPod commercial. (Damn you, Mac! You and your cleverness will rue the day!) We couldn’t think of a more fitting pre-holiday hottie than Mary J. You all know her story: Discovered at a mall in 1988 covering Anita Baker’s “Rapture,” the songstress soon met Andre Harrell and was on her way superstardom. Diddy helmed the production end of her debut, and from there, the sky was the limit. She’s been nominated for a Grammy and will no doubt appear at the awards show, so until February, these photographs are just going to have to suffice.

Related Content
Mary J. Blige Artist Info

2007′s Craziest: Vick’s Dogfight

by

michael-vick-515×700.jpg
Some gossip stories are too big to forget. We’re counting down the 20 biggest, baddest, and most ridiculous celeb scandals of the year. You’ll get a new one posted every day.

Football star Michael Vick took a beating this summer (kinda like his pit bulls) after federal allegations of dog fighting and killing pups that didn’t perform surfaced and landed the football star in prison. The charges were particularly gruesome, and animal lovers and pet owners across the country freaked at accusations of electrocuting and beating dogs to death. The Atlanta Falcons quarterback read a statement after pleading guilty to the charges, stating that “Dogfighting is a terrible thing. I reject it. I totally ask for forgiveness and understanding as I move forward to better Michael Vick the person, not the football player.”

Currently, Vick’s moving forward behind bars for the next 23 months. Hopefully he’ll emerge a changed man, and animal lover. PETA could always use another celeb to pose naked!