The Jonas Brothers Will Not Sleep With You

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Sorry young ladies looking for love. Forget it, you cougars ready to pounce on the angelic brothers Jonas. The country’s three biggest heartthrobs – Nick, Kevin and Joe Jonas have taken a vow of celibacy, and they’ve got the rings to prove it! Joe, 18, says that the metal bands, “promises to ourselves and to God that we’ll stay pure till marriage.” They also promise heartache to the throngs of tweenage girls who are desperate for a piece of the musical prodigies. Maybe the move is a result of their strict Christian upbringing (their dad is a preacher and they started out as Christian rockers) or maybe the purity pledge, as 15-year old Nick puts it, “is just one of our ways of kind of like being different than everybody else out there.”

In a world where Paris Hilton‘s vagina rules, they are definitely being different. We wish the Jonas Brothers the best on their quest of love without lovemaking. All we have to say is that once Lindsay Lohan finds this out, it’s gonna be all over – or rather, she’s going to be all over them. Girlfriend loves herself some fresh virgin meat! [Details]

Kate Hudson: Pregnant with a Timber-baby?

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Everybody’s been talking about the little belly bump Kate Hudson‘s been sporting lately (we’ve got five pics of her above taken this month so you can see for yourself). Combined with the flowy outfits she’s currently favoring, lots of people are buzzing about her possibly being knocked up. We haven’t given it much thought (we like our celebs to really have a bump – like the one Angelina showed off this weekend – before we speculate), but we couldn’t help but become more intrigued after a recent rumor that Hudson has allegedly been carrying on a secret affair with Justin Timberlake for a year. A source tells the NY Post that “Kate is very private and refuses to be seen with him in public. She doesn’t want to be humiliated like Cameron Diaz was when he dumped her. But they talk every day on the phone and see each other often.”

Now putting two rumors together to create one massive rumor isn’t the best idea, but if Kate IS pregnant and she really IS having a relationship with JT, well, DAMN. Wouldn’t that just be the best gossip story of the year?

Sara Bareilles Goes Gold, to Olive Garden

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The incredibly talented Sara Bareilles is out on the road with James Blunt on the You Oughta Know Tour. We asked the piano-playing phenom to give us updates from the road, and given that she’s such a sweetheart, she obliged. In her latest installment, Sara has some big news:

I’m so excited!!!!!!! I just found out that my album Little Voice has gone Gold!! This is insane. I don’t even really know how to process the whole thing. I found out from my manager and then ran to tell my bandmates (Josh, Javier, and Chad) and we all high-fived and let our jaws hang open for a bit. I have to be honest, it’s such an incredible experience we get to have every day, being out on the road. I mean, we actually get to make and share music for a living. That in and of itself is a huge deal…and we all remind each other that every day. But I must say, Gold Record feels pretty cool too. :) It’s actually the coolest thing ever. I think we should celebrate. Last time we all celebrated something it was Javier’s Birthday at Chuck E. Cheese’s. I think we should step it up this time. We’re going to Olive Garden. Cheers!

Lindsay Lohan Wins Big at Razzie Awards

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Oh my god. Ohmygod. I can’t believe this is really happening. Hi mom! Ha. Okay, deep breath. I am so honored to be named the Worst Actress of the Year for my work in this magical piece of art. This means so much to me, especially after I wasn’t even nominated for Just My Luck. And hey, let’s hear it for I Know Who Killed Me, which has won the most Razzies of all time tonight! We did it, guys. We did it.

Um, I prepared a little something to read; let’s see if I can beat the music. First and foremost, I want to thank God, for ruining Britney Spears‘ life this year and thus giving me a chance to steal the spotlight back from her. Thank you to Paris Hilton, for making me look a little less trashy. Thank you to my vagina. You always have supported me, even in the bad times, and are so special to me. I’d be nothing without you. To my family, for not giving me any guidance on my career. With your help, I wouldn’t have made this amazing film, so thank you for staying out of my life. And finally, I want to thank the guy who I am going to pick up at the after party in a couple hours. You are my rock, my angel, my hero. Thank you for not freaking out when I suggest we use my award in our foreplay. You totally understand the real me, even if you’re not going to remember my name tomorrow.

Mary J. Blige Tells Stories, Schools Us

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Mary J. Blige’s episode of Storytellers airs tonight at 8/7 c, but we were treated to a preview and an exclusive chat with the people’s diva last month when she taped the show at New York’s Hammerstein Ballroom. (Check out the clip above — we even got you a preview of tonight’s show, too.) Touching on major tracks from throughout her career, and paying special attention to her latest album, Growing Pains, Mary chronicled her life in song with personal anecdotes, tales of inspiration and emotional rallying cries. What follows is a list of 10 things we learned from a performance in which Mary seemed intent in proving that a story is only as good as its lesson.

Read more…

Gary Busey’s Red Carpet Attack on Jen Garner

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We can’t say we weren’t excited last night when we saw washed-up actor Gary Busey attempt to tackle Jennifer Garner to the ground in the middle of some vapid interview with Ryan Seacrest and pal Laura Linney. Gary wasn’t trying to hurt or scare the Juno actress, he was trying to shut her up! Or maybe he just wanted to admire her Restalyne-enhanced lips up close. Either way, we have a feeling Busey’s getting a gift basket from Ben Affleck today as a thank you.

Monday: Christina Goes Crazy After Baby Pics Flop

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Her pops came through and got his daughter visitation with her kids – as a lawyer, counselor and K-Fed’s bodyguard watched. A girl’s gotta start somewhere! [People]

Angelina’s Debuts her Baby Bump
Well hello there, baby bump! Aren’t you lookin’ fine. Smile for the cameras! [Us]

Lindsay Settles in Car Crash Suit

LiLo finally ends the drama that followed her fender bender with a busboy on Robertson Ave. Pay up! [TMZ]

X-Tina Fires Manager After Baby Pics Bomb
Christina went on a firing rampage, axing employees after her baby pics in People magazine failed to generate sales for the mag. [NYDN]

Diddy Readies for New, Serious Career

The rapper – who appears this week in the TV movie version of Raisin in the Sun – is prepping for a new career as a thespian. We can’t wait to learn his stage name. [NYDN]