Idolville: The Sun Won’t Go Down On Him

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When you begin watching American Idol it’s somehow hard to believe that the thousands of hopeful souls who audition, the 24 contestants who start it off, and the 12 who really make it will ever be whittled down to two singers. But here we are: the dark horse David Cook (several weeks ago I called him too paunchy to stand a chance; I stand corrected) and the white knight David Archuleta (whom I, and every other insightful viewer, called out as the winner at the start). They’ve got three rounds to brawl, and the producers can’t help but play up the boxing metaphor, enlisting the “Are you ready to rumble?” guy for pugilistic sake. Let’s not mince words: three songs, three performances, one inevitable outcome. Here’s what happened last night:

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No Booze Means Beyonce’s Having a Baby!

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Gasp! Beyonce “only drank water” at Kanye West‘s concert after-party here in NYC last week. B normally likes to nurse a glass or two of champagne while out on the town, but this time she swore off the booze. Well obviously, this is a sure sign that she MUST be knocked up. Other things that Beyonce did that night that surely prove she’s preggers?

  • touched her stomach
  • wore a slightly baggy shirt
  • held hands with her husband Jay-Z
  • went to the bathroom
  • ate dinner
  • laughed
  • applied lip gloss

OMG. It’s true. She MUST be pregnant – all signs point to yes! [NY Post]

Kim Kardashian is the Sober Sister

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Kim Kardashian wants you to know that she never drinks! It’s not a political choice or anything, she just hates the taste of booze. Yes, that means she chooses her ridiculous outfits while completely sober! Amazing, huh. Kim is revealing these exclusive life deets on her site, so we’ve dug through the bikini pics and Dash rambling to pick out the most interesting Kim facts, just for you!

  • Sister Khloe is 5 feet 10 inches tall! Think Kim is jealous?
  • Her favorite step brother is Hills man-ho Brody Jenner. Think she and Lauren Conrad get along?
  • Kim got Jessica Alba (just how did they become friends?) a “blinged out pacifier” for her baby shower, as well as some other trashy goodies. Classy!
  • Kim also reveals that she and her hot boyfriend Reggie Bush love to post pics of themselves, gushing that “We enjoy sharing our private moments.” Here’s our favorite one of the Thanksgiving meal she cooked for her man, which apparently includes two remote controls. Sounds like a romantic dindin!

R. Kelly Trial Forecaster: Defense Starts Off Whack

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(The VH1 Blog knows very little about the law. So we’ve solicited Mark Muro, a founder of the California law firm Muro & Lampe, Inc., to keep a running tab on which side has the advantage in the R. Kelly child pornography trial. Check back daily for updates.)

The pied piper of R&B, R. Kelly, finally had his child pornography trial open in Chicago six years after he was initially indicted. His defense? A case of mistaken identity. “Robert Kelly is not on that tape,” Kelly’s attorney, Sam Adam Jr., told the jury. “I stand before you on May 20, 2008, to tell you [R. Kelly] is not on that tape.” Adam claims that a mole on Kelly’s back will prove the singer’s innocence. Adam also claims that the alleged victim (whom he referred to as a “wonderful person”) is not in the tape; but instead, a paid prostitute. The defense appears to involve a claim of two layers of mistaken identity.

The tape was played for the jury this afternoon over Adam’s objection. In light of the contention that the tape provides visual evidence that Kelly is not depicted in the tape, I’m confused as to the attempts to keep the tape out of evidence. Seeing as the video is widely known as “The R. Kelly Sex Tape,” the defense better hope that the jurors have been living under a rock for the last six years. I anticipate the making of yet another closing argument culminating in a rhyme ala O.J. Simpson’s lawyer. (“If the glove don’t fit you must acquit.”) Here’s a couple of suggestions: “With no mole on the back, the prosecution’s case must crack” or “No mole on the back, the case is whack.” — Mark Muro

Score:
Defense = -1
Prosecution = 0

Jessica Alba Marries, Millions of Men Weep

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Certified hottie Jessica Alba and Luckiest Man on Earth Cash Warren were married in a private, low-key ceremony on Monday morning, Alba’s publicist is confirming. According to People magazine, Alba and Warren went to the Beverly Hills courthouse where they applied for a marriage license, waited forty minutes for the paperwork to be processed, and were married with no other guests present. The bride wore blue. Alba is expected to give birth to the couple’s first child this summer.

Wendy Williams’ Hubby Caught in Sex Tape Scandal?

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Remember that whole scandal involving radio star Wendy Williams‘ talent booker and the sexual harassment suit she filed against Wendy’s husband Kevin Hunter? Well things have taken a turn for the nasty with the release of an alleged sex tape featuring Hunter. It leaked onto the web yesterday, and while the identities of the horndogs in the video have not been confirmed, Wendy supposedly had a serious meltdown about the mess yesterday. Maybe it’s because the sex video was sent out to gossip peeps from her personal email address! Sounds like someone hacked into her account to do some dirty work. It’s unclear if the tape’s leak is connected to the sexual harassment drama, but one thing’s for sure – things are getting ugly. [NecoleBitchie - NSFW!]

Nas Drops Controversial N Word Title

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nasAs we informed you a month ago, Queens-born rapper Nas opted to name his upcoming July 1st release N*gger, in a move that shocked the public and polarized the hip-hop community. Many, including his label head, Jay-Z and Al Sharpton, felt compelled to speak out on the title.

Now Nas himself is finally discussing his controversial choice, and possibly changing it. In an interview with MTV, Nas explained the title is still up in the air, given the amount of pressure he’s received from his record label. “Everybody is trying to stop the title….Record stores are gonna have a problem in this day and time selling a record with that title. Who knows what’s gonna turn out and be on that title? Who knows what that title will be?”

In yet another statement issued yesterday, however, Nas sounded even more pressured, and had a cryptic message to convey to his fans: “The people will always know what the real title of this album is and what to call it.”

Exclusive: Rock of Love Girls Head to Charm School With Sharon Osbourne

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The hard-partying gals of Rock of Love 1 and 2 are in major need of a manners lesson, and who better to tutor them in lady skills than metal mama Sharon Osbourne? VH1′s hit show is set to return this fall with 14 new pupils all vying to become the teacher’s pet. Osbourne will host and guide Bret’s ladies through their journey into the world of all things prim and proper. In the end, only one contestant will be left standing with $100,000 in her pocket. Saaphyri was last season’s most-improved – it’s anyone’s guess as to who will nab the prize this year, but we predict a lot of catfights along the way! Stay tuned to the VH1 Blog to get the inside scoop on the cast of Rock of Love Girls: Charm School.

In the meantime, click on the jump to look at Rock of Love 2 girls and let us know who needs schooling the most.

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Buckeey’s Booty Still Charming

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Surely you remember Shay – the Flavorette formerly known as Buckeey who was the bad girl turned good on Charm School. Maybe these sexy pics will help jog your memory, eh? Shay’s rocking a string bikini – and not much else – in this month’s issue of Smooth, and dishes on her hero Kimora Lee Simmons and what her man’s gotta do to stick around. Want more? She’s working on some TV projects, can be heard on the radio in Atlanta, and has her own line of weaves comin’ out, natch. [via Bossip]

More Shay sexiness here.