R. Kelly’s Closing Argument: Don’t Call Alleged Victim a Whore!


(The VH1 Blog has solicited Mark Muro of the California law firm Muro & Lampe, Inc. to keep tabs on the R. Kelly child pornography trial.)

Both sides delivered closing arguments in R. Kelly‘s child pornography trial yesterday, and the jury could reach a decision at any moment. The defense told the jury that convicting Kelly would be tantamount to telling the world that the alleged victim is “a whore.” I’m not sure what this has to do with whether he’s innocent or guilty. The defense also claimed that Kelly was not only wrongly accused, but a victim of an extortion attempt. Sam Adam Jr., Kelly’s attorney, said the case was about “money, money, money.” The prosecution used its closing argument to emphasize the tape and the contention that Kelly is the man in it.

Both sides made up excuses for the large void in each of their cases that resulted from their failures to call the alleged victim to the stand, each claiming their decisions were motivated by her well-being. Defense lawyers didn’t want to “mess that girl’s life up anymore” and the prosecution saw no need to “drag that poor child into court.” The fact that the alleged victim is now 23 years old seems to have been completely lost.

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Gossip Break: Mayer Makes Lovin’ Fun


John Mayer is the best bone ever. Obvs! [DListed]

Paris emasculates her boyfriend by making Benji pose with her dogs. Ummm, why he is with her? [Seriously? OMG!]

There’s some rumor about Alicia Keys and Swiss Beatz having an affair. Say what? [Bossip]

Kanye’s ex is hotter without him. [YBF]

Jason Priestley is coming back to 90210, and so is our crush on him. Brandon 4-ever! [I'mNotObsessed]

Okay fine, we’ll admit it – Ashlee Simpson looks great knocked up! [ICYDK]

Britney‘s cameo has been cut out of the Pussycat Dolls video – our thanks go out to the editor of that vid! [PinkIsTheNewBlog]

Lynne Bashes Brit’s “Dark Period”


Ohhhh, this one will be a perfect follow up to the Madonna book! Lynne will document the family drama in her new tell-all, titled “Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World.” Aren’t the Spears still IN the storm? A rep for the Christian publishing company releasing the book says, “Lynne begins by telling the story of her own family. She’s going to go into it.” Oh goodie! Perhaps we can make a few requests about the things we want her to get into! [Us]

  • What’s up with Britney’s favored messy bun-ponytail hairdo?
  • Why did Lynne let Brit wear a denim dress that one time?
  • Did K-Fed’s breath smell like pot all the time?
  • Does Brit know her kids’ names?
  • Doesn’t it kinda suck when Britney buys a really expensive Mercedes and then ruins it by spilling Cheetos everywhere?
  • Is there vodka in all those Frappucinos?
  • On a scale of creepy to really motherf*cking creepy, just how creepy was that creep Sam Lutfi? Creep.
  • Which daughter does Lynne like better: Brit or Jamie-Lynn?
  • Seriously, it’s Jamie-Lynn, right?

Dr. Drew Is Like a Nazi, Says Lawyer


Recent comments Dr. Drew‘s made about Tom Cruise and Scientology have landed him in hot water with one of Tom’s people. In the upcoming issue of Playboy, the Celebrity Rehab guru says:

“A lot of people in the public eye who behave strangely have mental illness we can learn from, and much of it is based on childhood trauma, without a doubt. Take a guy like Tom Cruise. Why would somebody be drawn into a cultish kind of environment like Scientology? To me, that’s a function of a very deep emptiness and suggests serious neglect in childhood – maybe some abuse, but mostly neglect.”

It’s definitely more bold than Dr. Drew’s usual media commentary, which tends to be more practical than speculative. That said, the response of Tom’s lawyer, Bert Fields, puts Drew’s liberty taking to shame:

“This unqualified television performer who is obviously just looking for notoriety is so grotesquely unprofessional as to pretend to diagnose Tom and others without ever meeting them. He seems to be spewing the absurdity that all Scientologists are mentally ill. The last time we heard garbage like this was from Joseph Goebbels.”

So Drew calls Scientology a cult (which, come on, it is!) and he gets called a Nazi? Yeah, that’s fair. Way to help your case and ensure that people will take you seriously, Bert. [New York Post]

Update: Via his rep, Dr. Drew responds: “Dr. Drew meant no harm to Mr. Cruise and apologizes if his comments were hurtful.”

Usher Dishes On Dumping His Momager


So Usher wants you all to know that he certainly did NOT fire his mama/manager Jonetta Patton, and it most definitely was not because his wife Tameka didn’t want her around. In an interview with Vibe, Usher set the story straight: “I decided to not fire, not get rid of, but to give [my mother] the ultimate compliment — to retire her to be a full-time grandmother.” He added, “My mother and I decided to change her situation, together. There was a conversation. I didn’t write her a letter or pink slip her.”

This still sounds fishy to us – we’re calling cover up! He of course then went on to gush over his lady love, saying, “The swagger I possess now definitely comes from my wife. And my son completes me. He changes my perspective on what life is, and what matters.”

Blah blah blah. When did Usher get so peaceful and zen? We want some drama, but no way does Tameka let her man go there.

Kardashian Kid Dresses Sexy Like Sis


I normally like to avoid talking about kids and their fashion flaws – my puberty was filled with so many awkward experiences caught on film that I can still empathize with tweens’ fashion mishaps. But when I stumbled across this pic of Kim Kardashian‘s adorable little sister Kylie graduating 5th grade in a minidress (which we’d wear) and what appear to be 3-inch heels, I was kinda surprised, though not shocked. Afterall she’s probably just imitating what she knows: her skanky sisters. This is not to say that Kylie didn’t look hot – she did! But hot should never be used to describe a 5th grader. EVER. We’re sure Kim and the other sisters are fabulous mentors (Kim doesn’t drink, and we’re not going to say anything about the Tape That Must Not Be Named). But perhaps they should save their styling tips for Kylie’s 16th birthday and let her dress just like her graduating peers – frumpy, goofy and like a kid.

See above for Abigail Breslin‘s outfit from Tuesday night for preteen fashion inspiration, and for more Kartrashiness, check out the pics below.

Tila Tequila Helped Gay Marriage??


Someone needs to tell Tila Tequila that making out with some chicks on national TV is not activism, it’s soft core porn. For some reason, our horny heroine thinks that she is responsible for the movement to legalize gay marriage. “It is because of me — I definitely think [my show] has helped the movement,” she bragged recently. “Before it came out, everyone was still a little apprehensive about [same sex relationships]. Then they realized, ‘Wow, everyone is really into this stuff, and it is fine.’ The next thing you know, [gay marriage] is legal.”

It’s so sweet that she thinks that having both men and women eat pig vaginas together in slutty bathing suits somehow helped to change the world. Awwww. Stupidity is so precious! So what’s next for Tila? “I am going to Africa,” she told Us magazine. “I think maybe I will fall in love in Africa.”

Just like we’ll fall in love with not having her hear from this airhead for a few months. Bon Voyage!

50 Cent Demands Rent on Ruined House


It would really suck to be 50 Cent‘s baby mama. One minute you’re fleeing your house as it’s engulfed in flames, and the next minute you’re being forced to pay rent on the leftover ashes. A judge has forced Shaniqua Tompkins to pay $4500 in unpaid rent on the ruined mansion. The former couple is locked in a legal battle over a breach of contract suit, and when the judge learned that Tompkins has refused to pay rent since May, she demanded: “She better pay it by the end of the week. Do you understand?”

Fiddy’s ex tried to win over the court’s sympathy, stating that “We lost everything. All we have is the clothes we jumped out of the window with.” But after learning that she was getting $6,700 – which includes money to rent a new place – the judge ruled with the uber-rich rapper.

Even though this pic of 50 with the Kartrashian sisters has nothing to do with this story, we had to post it anyway. BFFs!

Madonna’s Bro Rats Her Out for Cash


The reigning queen of pop’s brother is ready to sell out his sister for some cold hard dough. Madonna‘s brother Christopher Ciccone is working with a British writer on a tell-all that’s been described as “extremely graphic and devastating.” Chris, who is gay, used to be M’s right-hand man, but she dropped him after hooking up with Guy Ritchie, who’s been described as “uncomfortable around queens” by Madge pal Rupert Everett. The book’s due out next month, so we hope Madonna does something ridiculous to draw attention away from the tell-all. Maybe she could adopt a 20-something blogger from NYC and bring her to live with Lourdes, Rocco and lil’ David in London? [NYP]

Gossip Break: Usher’s Got a Wandering Eye


Mel and Brit Brit have a BFF dinner sesh in Beverly Hills. Is she starring in Braveheart 2? [DListed]

Donald Trump may be loaded, but he can’t afford proper hair. Karma rules! [Seriously? OMG!]

Mariah Carey is ridiculously rich, but she still wants peeps to buy her wedding presents. That’s how divas do it, ya’ll. [Crunk+Disorderly]

Mark Ronson agrees: Limantha is the raddest couple evah. [ICYDK]

Usher has a hard time staying faithful to his wife. Confessions! [ConcreteLoop]

Someone should tell Kate Hudson that no one cares who she is dating. [I'mNotObsessed]