We were kinda shocked when the Cloonster dumped random hottie Sarah Larson, because she seemed like a great catch (and only 29!) and enjoyed hanging off his arm and looking pretty 24/7. But George can’t be bothered with the same lady for too long, so off Sarah went into the LA sunset as quickly as she had arrived. But now we’re finally learning why George got rid of her: he hated her fake breasts! Does this make him more or less of a man? The actor was apparently not into Larson’s recent boob job, and while he let her recover from the surgery at his house, he was NOT happy about the whole thing and thus got rid of his girl. Sadly, she didn’t find out until she read it in the tabloids along with the rest of the world. Stars’ girlfriends – they really ARE just like us!
But never fear, Sarah is a celeb now and is ready to show off what made her “famous.” An insider says: “She likes her new body so much that she would consider posing for Playboy. Now that she’s famous, she’d never go back to cocktailing.” Cheers to that!
“When you get married, you’re forced to drink the milk long after it’s spoiled,” says entrepreneur/model/single mom/diva/philosopher Kimora Lee Simmons. We have no idea what that means, but surely it’s genius, right? Russell’s ex opened her heart up to Smooth magazine this month, and she of course did her usual “I’m such a down to earth person, I don’t get why everyone thinks I’m some crazy bit-Derek, GET ME SOME ORGANIC PEANUTS AND TURN THEM INTO PEANUT BUTTER WITH YOUR HANDS SO I CAN FEED IT TO MY PARROT!” routine. And hey – we kinda buy it!
“I hear the craziest things, like, ‘She has to have a champagne glass filled within a quarter inch of the lip,” says Ms. Fabulous. “The reality, is I’m a dedicated mother [to daughters Ming Lee, 8, and Aoki Lee, 5] and a very kind, funny and hardworking person. My reality-TV show helps to shed a bit of light, but even that’s glamorized.” So remember folks – every time you spot Kimora decked in diamonds demanding that her staff cater to her every need, she’s just being hardworking!
(The VH1 Blog has solicited Mark Muro of the California law firm Muro & Lampe, Inc. to keep tabs on the R. Kelly child pornography trial.)
The defense rested its case after only two days of testimony. R. Kelly invoked his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination, and won’t testify. The jury will be instructed that Kelly’s decision can’t be held against him. But some jurors may nonetheless wonder why an innocent man wouldn’t jump at the chance to defend himself on the stand. Does he have something to hide? Of course, O.J. Simpson, Michael Jackson and a slew of other celebs provide a strong precedent for opting not to testify — and still winning acquittal!
In other news, Judge Gaughan ruled that the jury will be allowed to view the sex tape during deliberation over the objections of Kelly’s attorneys, who argued that the jury may overemphasize one piece of evidence. I’m not surprised that this argument failed since the tape is the primary piece of evidence in this case. The defense’s objections suggest a lack of confidence in its claims that the tape does not show Kelly or the alleged victim. — Mark Muro, Attorney at Law
Closing arguments are set for Thursday. For now, Kelly loses a point for taking the Fifth. Overall Score: Defense: +2; Prosecution: +6
Hulk Hogan got all choked up while chatting on CNN last night, discussing his love for God and his shock at how his life has turned out. He also said he believes the accident, which left Nick’s BFF John Graziano comatose, happened for a reason. “This is to make Nick a better person,” he said. “This is to make John a better person.” Clip above.
Tila went on a cross-country trip to have dinner with the families of the final four in Episode 8. Here are the highlights.
TILA GETS “PASSED AROUND” AT JAY’S HOUSE
“We are very open in our family. We love to touch and hug and kiss.” – Jay’s dad
The above quote doesn’t explain the half of it! At the dinner table, Jay’s mom informed Tila that Jay and his brother “share everything” before Tila and Jay took a break from their steaks to have a very public make out session, which got dad all hot and bothered. “Ooooh,” he groaned wantonly. “I love seeing this.” This is where the night began to devolve into total debauchery. Among the lewd antics at the dinner table: Tila gave dad a lap dance and kissed mom; mom and stepmom kissed each other more than once (on the lips); and mom and stepmom flashed their breasts, Mardi Gras-style. Turns out, dinner was only an appetizer for the main course — a family orgy in the hottub! The family passed Tila around to take turns touching and groping her. Jay’s family was accepting to the extreme. But would Tila really want to be in a family where every one wants to get in her pants?
Myammee‘s interview in King has finally emerged, and the kicked-off cutie lashes out at the man who dumped her because “he was scared for his little life.” Zing! It’s short and sweet, and we’ve got highlights below.
On being kicked off the show: “Flav kicked me off over some bull. He was scared of the dude who called up saying I owe him a stack and [that] he’s gonna blow up the house. It wasn’t because [Flav] wasn’t feeling me; he was scared for his little life and everybody else’s.”
On the money drama from the show and how she earns her dough: “I don’t owe nobody nothing… A thousand dollars is nothing. I make that in two days working at Hooters. I’m probably making more money at Hooters than the strippers—not the big booty ones.”
For more of Myammee mouthing off, check out her chat with KingHERE.
The eldest Hogan sibling revealed that her mom Linda is indeed dating a 19-year-old dude named Charley, who went to school with her and lil’ bro Nick. “I went to school with him,” says the aspiring singer. “He was a grade under me…Me and Nick know him well.”
According toThe National Enquirer, the young lad is thoroughly enjoying his relationship with Linda. “She bought Charlie a surfboard and a tattoo-and takes him out to fancy dinners. She even set up a modeling gig for him,” the source reveals. “She even says Charlie is the best sex she’s ever had. I wouldn’t be surprised if she does offer to pay for Charlie’s college.”
The 20-year-old singer says she is supporting her mom even though she doesn’t “like it at all or condone it.” She also says, sadly, “You know, I thought we were one of the normal Hollywood families. It’s crazy watching it all fall apart, but I hope for the best.”
Ugh. Jessica Simpson has finally figured out that her singing/acting/hardly wearing any clothing career is fizzling, so she’s continuing to sell new products in order to fund her Louis Vuitton habit. She’s hawked shoes, fake hair, edible make up, bags, and bathing suits. Next up – lingerie, which we imagine will represent the blond’s lust for tacky fashion. Jessica Simpson’s Intimates will launch in Spring 2009, and we beg of you – DON’T BUY IT! We don’t need to give JSimps another reason to stick around.
Feel like a little drama to spice up your afternoon? Check out the restraining orderDarius McCrary has filed against his ex Karrine “SuperHead” Steffans, after she accused him last week of trying to run her over. The document reveals that, “Darius says he didn’t hit her with his car — she ‘jumped on the trunk of my car and then the roof of my car. She started beating my vehicle and windows.’ It says she then attempted to get into the car by breaking the windows ‘with her fist.’” He also reveals that they allegedly broke up because “she became extremely controlling, very manipulative and abusive.”
Steffans, who originally texted/emailed Perez Hilton about the incident, told TMZ: “I love Darius and no matter what he does or says, my feelings remain the same. I will only discuss issues to which I have legal documents and witnesses and refuse to attack Darius or his son the way he has attacked me and mine. His accusations are unfounded, undocumented and unbelievable, yet, common when coming from a man on the defensive.”
Hm. Has anyone suggested couples therapy for these two?
After attending the same charity bowling event and not speaking or interacting during the entire night, The Hills are shaking with the news that Lauren “Blank Stare” Conrad and her sidekick Lo “I’m not a bitch, just mean” Bosworth have told Audrina Patridge to move the hell out of the home they share together. The girls allegedly decided against phone, IM, text and Facebook wall posting, and instead delivered the message with a note posted on the door of Audrina’s guest house! Ouch. Wouldn’t you love to get a copy?
Ummmmmmm. Hi. Like. Hm. It’s cold out here. Anyway. Um. Okay. This braid in my hair looks good. F*ck, did I eat carbs today? Damn it! Oh, I’m writing! Okay. So, look. You haven’t been very nice to me lately, and you’re still dating Justin Bobby. So, you know what that means. OMG I think a bird just farted out here. Um. That means we can’t be friends. Get your crappy French Connection dresses the fudge out of my guest house. KTHXBY. I mean BAI.