Star Jones Talks Sh*t to the Haters

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“If I punched every b*tch who called me fat, it would be dead b*tches all up and down the highway.”

- Our new hero, Star Jones, at the reunion of The Bad Girls Club after one girl told another she was “a cheeseburger away from being obese.” Star was hosting the show and offered up the above tidbit of large lady wisdom in response to the diss.

Five Really Good Reasons Brit’s Not Preggers

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Heard the rumor about Brit having a bun in the oven? Us too. But we’re not freaking out over a little belly bump, cuz we know our girl can’t be knocked up just yet. Don’t believe us? Check out these five solid reasons and then try to challenge our proof.

5. The Jamie-Lynn Factor

You think Britney would get pregnant when her hotter, younger, more scandalously pregnant sister is about to give birth? Hell no! Brit shares the spotlight with no one, and there’s no way she’d let her possible pregnancy get overshadowed by J-L!

4. Ciggies Aren’t for Mommies

Say what you will about Britney Spears and how big she looks in this pic, but there’s NO WAY she is dumb enough to smoke while pregnant.

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Fashion WTF: Paris Hilton Pulls an SJP

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Oh, Sarah Jessica Parker, what have you done? Paris Hilton has us fearing that the centerpiece-as-a-hat look may be a hot trend this summer. The goofy hat accessorized her all-white ensemble as she promoted her new scent, “Can Can,” at Selfridge’s in London.

Check out more photos of the atrocity below…

Mimi’s Ex Sad, Shocked and Alone

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We had no idea that Mariah Carey‘ was lugging around a secret boyfriend until early 2008, but perhaps we were just blinded by her butterfly rings and didn’t see him standing next to her. The mystery man is producer Mark Sudack, and he stuck by his emancipated gal pal for close to four years. He even worked on her recent hit album, E=MC2. So guess who was totally shocked by her whirlwind love affair and marriage with Nick Cannon? Yep, you guessed it. “He never thought she would go off and marry someone else,” a Sudack pal revealed to Us. “He’s heartbroken and shocked.”

So are we, Mark Sudack. So are we.

The 10 Sexiest Stripper-rific Moments in VH1 History

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Holy shizz. This video seriously needs no introduction. All you need to know is:

Sexy.
Seriously stripper-fific, booty-bouncing moments.
VH1‘s most amazing shows, like Rock of Love, Flavor of Love and My Fair Brady.
Mix them all together, and you get the The 10 Sexiest Stripper-rific Moments in VH1 History. And seriously, we mean SEXY.

Watch all 10 videos here. Then drool and comment.

Idolville: Last Night’s Five Top Moments

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The end is nigh. Last night’s elimination episode was full of tears, fear, and, inevitably, only two contenders left standing. You’d be forgiven for being a little tired of the Idols at this point, so let’s highlight the non-Idol moments that made last night’s episode so enjoyable. Drumroll, please:

5. The Dolphin

Since we’re down to only three contestants and have a sold-out hour of advertising space to fill, the producers treated us to lengthy videos chronicling their trio’s individual journeys from hopefuls in a army of thousands to the three remaining stars of the show. Once again, we learned something about the Idols as people — but at the end of the day, the star of the video profiles was that charismatic dolphin who provided the memorable photo op. Upstaged by a sea-mammal? Yes, it’s true. Hey Flipper, expect a call from Simon. If he can do it for Leona Lewis, he can do it for you.

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Ash & Pete’s Wedding Weekend Is Driving Us Nuts

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Ashlee and Pete have sent out Evites inviting people to their top secret wedding. Did you check your email yet to see if you got one? Yep, the thing is so hush-hush, they not only invited people by the most traceable way possible, they then begged the tabloids to bid on the right to cover the nuptials. Allegedly they stand to earn a seven-figure sum for allowing the entire world to watch their most precious moment. Barf. Some other deets we learned today about the Simpson/Wentz shotgun wedding: Ash is wearing Vera Wang, no cameras are allowed, Jess is holding the rehearsal dinner at her house AND Ashlee is allegedly super clingy, which her man loves. They truly are a perfect pair. They’d be even more perfect if they’d stop forcing their love down our throats. [NYDN]