We were wrong! Kim Kardashian didn’t do Playboy for the money, or to garner more attention, or jump-start her career as a full fledged celebutard. She did it to help us women feel better about our bodies! Kim said recently about her spread in the nudie rag, “I did it because I’m not one of those stick-skinny girls you see. I felt like girls today need to see a normal body.”
Um, okay. Two things.
1. To see a normal body, dear society-changing Kim, all we “girls” need to do is look in the mirror.
2. Dash’s body is probably the least normal thing the planet earth has ever seen. If Kim had told us that she had her teeny tiny waist, giant boobs and massive butt molded out of clay on a spaceship and was then sent to this earth to taunt us with her voluptuous bumps, we’d believe her. NORMAL? Her body is like My Humps on acid. Maybe she needs to take a look in the mirror, too. Kim also said that her mom was the force behind her naked romp. “My mom actually pushed me to do it!” She said. “I think she’s living vicariously through me a little bit.”
We can guess what part of Kim’s body her mom is living in! Below we’ve compiled every Kim Kardashian pic that we’ve ever put in the VH1 Blog to help you decide whether her bootylicious body is normal or not. [NYDN. Images: Getty]
Not to quote Fox News or anything, but this is one of those ‘we report, you decide’ kind of moments. What we’re reporting is this here video above, of the world’s greatest train wreck (sorry Britney), Amy Winehouse, performing in concert in Zurich on October 25th. She appears to be fiddling around with her beehive for a while when she’s supposed to be singing the Toots and the Maytals song “Monkey Man.” It then looks like she hides something in her sleeve, lifts her hand to her nose and does something that looks a lot like snorting. Give it a watch and let us know what you think – is she storing coke up in that massive beehive, or just some tissues for a stuffy nose? Given the fact that her tour manager just quit because he was supposedly getting a contact high (that showed up in his bloodstream) from all the heroin smoked on Winehouse’s tour bus, we are quick to assume the former.
You’ve watched America’s Most Smartest Model and developed opinions. Now we want to hear them: Who do you think should be the next contestant to be kicked off the show?
To help start the conversation, we’ve asked some of our friends in fashion what they think. Today’s guest-blogger is Sarah Cristobal, senior web editor of style bible Harper’s Bazaar. She explains who she thinks should win — and why.
“Rachel was a laugh riot on the last episode and I’m sorry to see her go! Who else is going to unintentionally deliver those one-liners? She could be the next Henny Youngman as far as I’m concerned — and a bubbly blond one at that. ‘I know shapes, not measurements’ is pure comedic genius. While insulting Rachael about her dress for the fashion show challenge erred on the mean side, (I believe the comment went something along the lines of ‘she looked like a mermaid wrapped in a kitchen floor’), you have to admit that it was a rather creative assessment of her ensemble. (Full disclaimer: the fashion industry does not condone catty behavior.) As for the rest of the crew, I am rooting for Angela — she’s got the look and has a quiet underdog sensibility — but it seems like Pickel and Brett are unstoppable! Ack! Of course, here at Bazaar, we’re most proudest of our dear friend and contributing fashion editor Mary Alice Stephenson, who, along with the indomitable Ben Stein, clearly has some tough decisions to make. Go, brainiacs, go!”
Rachel was eliminated last episode. Did you forsee her fall?
Fallen but not forgotten
This Sunday, what do you think is going to happen?
Unaware of each other’s politics. Republican Jack has a steamy one-nighter with Congresswoman CC (Edie Falco). Liz shows her racist side by suspecting that her new Middle-Eastern neighbor has got a terrorist plot up his sleeve. Kenneth loses Jack‘s $2500 tuxedo pants at the dry cleaners, and has to do asinine stunts to make quick cash to replace them. Tracy gives Jack some love advice.
Liz: Didn’t you get your hair cut just two days ago?
Jack: I get my hair cut every two days, after all you hair is your head suit. I’m going to a party tonight that’s honoring Robert Novack, thrown by John McCain and Jack Bauer.
Liz: Uh…I don’t think he’s real.
Jack: I assure you Lemon, John McCain is very real. I have to look perfect. When it comes to hair, no one is more bitchy than conservative males. They can be brutal.
Liz: Well, have fun. Don’t get peer-pressured into invading Iran.
Every week we round up selections from the funniest and most brutal film criticism out there so that you don’t waste your cash at the theaters and laugh a little at Hollywood’s expense. This week: Love in the Time of Cholera, the film adaptation of Gabriel García Márquez’s renowned novel, is ham-fisted, absurd, and more than a little silly. It’s a lot silly.
“Those who have read Gabriel García Márquez’s glowing and sexy 1988 novel about one man’s grand love for a woman who marries another are bound to be peevishly disappointed by Love in the Time of Cholera. And those who haven’t read the book will now never understand the ardor of those who have — at least not based on all the hammy traipsing and coupling and scene-hopping thrown together here.” — Entertainment Weekly
“From the hoot-worthy dialogue (‘I don’t need a medical lesson.’ ‘No, this is going to be a lesson in love’) to the atrocious makeup, to the dead rats taped to the side of Hector Elizondo’s head, the entire thing’s a wreck. Unless it was trolling for sneering chuckles, in which case — success!” — The Village Voice
Movie premieres, awards shows, benefit concerts, and plain old clubbin’ – even though most of us are at home, the beautiful peeps are living it up somewhere. About Last Night puts you in touch with all the action.
There was certainly not a shortage of babes at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Adriana Lima, Heidi Klum, Seal, Will.I.Am, Posh, the Hills girls, and Hayden Panettiere swam in the sea of models at this event.
Click for more Spice Girls and Angel Wings
This week New York invites the final six guys’ ex-girlfriends to the I Love New York 2 house, plus two of her exes, Chance and Real, to dig up dirt on the guys. Sneak peek this Monday’s episode now, tell us which guys are safe, and who will be dismissed. Comment now!
Wolf got the boot last episode. Did you forsee his fall?
Fallen but not forgotten
I Love New York Show Info
Episode 7 Sneak Peek
I thought it only appropriate to write to you about my favorite moments from last night’s episode of The Office, seeing as uber-genius Michael Scott would do the same. Who ever said diaries were only for women?! That’s what she said. Wait, what? I’ve confused myself again.
1. Well, my post-it note scheme has been outed by my hero. Not only does it make me feel cool to be receiving pretend phone calls, but nothing cheers me up like a picture of a peanut dancing on a post-it note. It just really makes faking phone calls thank much easier!
2. Jan could get $4 million in her lawsuit?! That IS a lot of guacamole. I’d eat it.
John Mayer has discovered what the rest of the world has known for years: he is a douchebag. John recently took to the Internet to bone up on himself (a douchey thing to do in itself) and the results were of profound self-discovery: “I’m kind of a douchebag. I got a little sick of myself…I’m insufferable,” he reports.
Of course, admitting that you’re a douchebag is a wholly non-douchey thing to do: self-awareness and douchebaggery cannot exist side-by-side. And so, by admitting this, John Mayer is more or less no longer a douchebag. Curses! Foiled again. [TMZ.com]
Lauren Speaks : “The Hills Is Real”
Don’t worry Lauren, as long as you keep fighting with Heidi we’ll watch no matter what. [Us]
Britney’s Got Big Botched Lips
Britney Spears has become a walking example of what happens when lip injections – and life – go bad. [TMZ]
Lance Denies Love for Olsen Twin
The biking star comes forward to officially clear up the air about his Olsen makeout sessions. Eh, we still believe the rumors. [Us]
Kanye Mourns Mom from London
Funeral Arrangements have been made for a memorial service as Kanye tries to mourn privately in London. [Us]
Spice Girls Back On Stage
Ten-years older, but just as sexy. Oh yeah – and still lipsyncing. Gotta make it last forever somehow! [People]