The Celebreality Interview – Lady Twist

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“I’m not trying to be no damn sex symbol. Lady Twist is not here to be sexy, let the record reflect that. Lady Twist is here to entertain.” And so she does. Below the rapper-cum-soon-to-graduate journalism student (commencement’s on Friday — congratulate her!) talks about being gay, being big and being unwilling to let anything get in the way of her career.

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J. Lo’s Sex Face Ain’t What It Used to Be

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I’m not turned on, and neither is her husband, from the look of things. Is there anything less sexy than trying to hard? Blergh.

Brooke Hogan Vows to Reveal Truth About Jailed Bro

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Got a brother in jail and want the world to hear your rant about it? Myspace, baby! Brooke Hogan took to her home on the web to rattle on about her brother Nick’s recent trial, which resulted in 8 months jail time. The post has since been taken down, but luckily we’ve got the whole thing right here:

I know most of the public thinks my brother is some rich little selfish kid, but NO ONE knows the real story and I’m really pissed that the truth didn’t come out from either side. A LOT of lies were told in that trial. Believe me. And it wasn’t from us. John was NEVER home. He was at our house. ALL THE TIME. that should say enough…. Im not going to be out spoken right now, but If some s*** doesn’t start getting straightened out, A lot of people are going to eat their words for lieing. I know all of the truth and I have back up. I never know how twisted this world could be but I’m starting to figure it out. And I’m gonna have to jump off my high road and tackle some ppl who are taking the low road. I know you guys don’t understand, but you will really really soon. Keep praying. And by the way, before you judge anybody, make sure you really know them. I promise you if you were to meet my brother he would give you the shirt off his back. He’s not “NICK HOGAN.” AND hes not the person he plays on tv. People are so gullible now a days…

There you have it! Brooke later replaced the lengthy post with one simple line: “I have the truth on my side. And the truth will set everyone straight sooner or later.”

Nappy Time for Christina Aguilera

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Who’s to blame for Ms. Aguilera taking a snoozer at Christian Dior’s show last night? Is it little Max (now 5 months old) or those 10lb eyelashes? From the looks of hubby Jordan Bratman, we’re blaming the baby. See more sleepy pics below:

Mariah and Nick to Marry Again?!?!

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mimiNick Cannon and Mariah Carey just got hitched, but they’re already planning their next wedding — to one another, natch. Mimi’s been making the rounds chatting about her recent nuptials (she just told Oprah about her “Mrs. Cannon” tat), and today, she’s telling Ellen about the couple’s future plans for…more weddings.

“His plan is to have one [wedding] every year,” Mariah says of her new hubby, which is a great plan if you’re married to the top-selling female recording artist who’s got so much money, she flew her dog first class.

In addition to all those weddings, the couple are also planning on having children. Yesterday, Nick’s half-brother Reuben (who will surely be barred from talking to the press from here on out) said that the couple “definitely wants kids,” but that “both of their careers are crazy right now.” Mariah’s busy being Mariah, and Nick’s busy following her around.

The F-Bomb Heard Around the World

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Last night, during a commercial break for the show Medium, WNBC news anchor Sue Simmons (based here in NYC) dropped one glorious f-bomb during the news update when she asked, “What the f*ck are you doing?” Viewers were left wondering the same thing about Sue. Her apology followed during the 11 o’clock news. Amazing. And remember, there’s one NSFW word in there!

Ashlee & Pete Prep for Boring Emo Wedding

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  • Eye liner? Check.
  • Hair straightener? Check.
  • White Doc Martens? Check.
  • Black skinny tux with skinny tie? Check.
  • Loony divorced big sister/maid of honor/drunkest person at the reception? CHECK!

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are getting married this weekend, and no one cares! The pair are going to great lengths to keep the affair “top secret,” but they could get married in my apartment and I wouldn’t freak out and go. Their lovey-dovey emo shtick is getting very, very old, so we wish them the best in their marriage, which will hopefully be way more successful than Ashlee’s music career. [Us]

Beyonce Chowing Down for Phantom Baby

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Can’t Beyonce and Jay-Z just enjoy being married for a while? Not everyone has to go and pull an Ashlee Simpson and get preggers and married all at once. B’s belly is the topic of much speculation (even though as you can see in the pic above from last week, there’s nothing there), as some pals are secretly coming forward to reveal that she’s currently knocked up. One loose-lipped friend says, “She has gained a lot of pregnancy weight. When she gains weight, she normally does the Def Jam detox, but not now.”

Wait a second. Forget the pregnancy – what the f*ck is the “Def Jam detox?!” Google is revealing nothing – does it involve listening to old Beastie Boys and LL Cool J tracks while eating salad? Rick Rubin, fill us in! Beyonce’s rep was having none of the baby buzz, and said, “I don’t know if she’s pregnant. Let me perform an ultrasound and get back to you.”

We’re waiting!

Flavor of Love 3 Brief-Cap – Our Top 10 Moments of the Clips Show

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If you missed this week’s special episode of Flavor of Love 3, have no fear: you know VH1 is going to play it and play it and play it this week till you can recite it in your sleep. But just in case you miss it entirely, below are our Top 10 favorite things we learned in the episode (which was brimming with previously unseen footage), starting with…

10. This:

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OK, we admit, we already knew that crack is wack (a certain someone’s rap sheet alone could have told us all we needed to know). This, then, is a case of something being funny because it’s a) true and b) written on a butt.

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