Oscars Parodies: No Country For Old Men Keeps On Winning

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In case you’ve somehow forgotten about Sunday night’s Academy Awards broadcast, we’re here to remind you that practically everyone with a computer has been offering their predictions online. That includes George Clooney: Mr. Suave sat down with Time magazine to tell them who he thinks will win. (His guesses seem pretty accurate.) In the midst of all this, however, you might have also forgotten about that other art-form generated by all this Oscar-buzz: the parody. Our tireless reporters here scoured the Interweb to find funny versions of the films nominated for Best Picture. Laugh a little — it’s Friday.

No Country For Old Men is good . . . but is it this good?

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Free Radio: Lance’s Worst Date Ever

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VH1’s newest show features Lance Krall as a dimwitted radio host who has some infuriating opinions and isn’t shy about expressing them. He also has a weekly blog here where he discusses his innermost thoughts. In this episode, Lance explains why his recent date with a good-looking female, whom he took to Applebee’s, went so badly. Here’s a hint: He’s insensitive. And a jerk-face.

Rock of Love 2 Forecast: Who Should Be the Next to Go?

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Rock of Love 2 is heating up! Last week the girls competed in the second annual Bret Michaels Mud Bowl in harsh rain, snow and wind! Get caught up here and tell us which ladies are safe and who will be dismissed next episode.

Still rockin’

No one was kicked off last week. Did you forecast that move?

Fallen, but not forgotten

Watch Rock of Love 2 Sunday, 9PM EST.

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Rock of Love 2 Show Page

Bad Fashion is a Family Affair

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The Kutcher-Moore-Willis clan showed up at the 1st Hollywood Domino Tournament at the Beverly Hills Hotel (seriously, a f*cking DOMINO TOURNAMENT) looking like something out of a futuristic Great Gatsby-esque world. As usual, Ashton has taken every fashion trend from last season and attempted to work it in one frenzied outfit of coolness (he failed). Demi looks like she’s auditioning for the Madame Tussaud’s Museum, and Rumer is clearly trying to tell us something about her love of bondage. But the worst part is the matchy-matchiness of it all. All red, white, black and a touch of red. Glamorous! We get that you guys are more of a cult than a family. Now go play your dominoes and leave us be.

Cafe Locke: Grenades for Breakfast

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Last night, yet again, the show totally Scooby Doo’d us. Kate wasn’t pregnant with Sawyer’s baby, but in off-island life she is playing mommy to Aaron, Claire’s son. Is Claire still on the island after the rescue of the Oceanic Six, or did she meet with an unfortunate end? Hit us with your comments about what happened to Claire, and what that ghostbuster Miles is up to.

Any episode of Lost that starts with an extreme close-up of a person’s eye is a sign that person is in big trouble. Such was the case with Locke. In several ways, he’s become Ben: he is losing touch with the forces of the island, his team is questioning him, and he’s acting irrationally.

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Exclusive! Mariah Carey E=MC² Preview

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Yesterday, Island/Def Jam honcho L.A. Reid hosted a few journalists in his office for a special preview of Mariah Carey’s upcoming E=MC² album, tentatively due April 15. While Reid looked on, Mariah’s A&R man and long-rumored beau Mark Sudack played 12 of the album’s cuts from his laptop, often passionately (and adorably!) singing along. On the album, there was drama, there was death, there was disco. What follows is a track-by-track breakdown of our impressions of the album. Note that this isn’t the final track sequence, that L.A. ticked off the producers list to us but it is by no means etched in stone and the tracks that we heard weren’t always mastered.

One final note: so much of this album is sung in Mariah’s chest voice. The vocal gymnastics and whistle notes, while there (’cause, duh, it’s Mariah!), take a backseat to clear, purposeful singing, and Mariah sounds better for it. Oh yeah, Mimi’s back.

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Will & Jada, Tom & Katie Do Lunch

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ESSENCE hosted its First Annual Black Women In Hollywood Luncheon yesterday, hailing quite the turnout. Guests included Will Smith, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Kerry Washington, Gabrielle Union, Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Paula Patton, Garcelle Beauvais, Layla Ali, Niecy Nash, Rashida Jones, Ruby Dee, Tatyana Ali, Star Jones, Vivica A. Fox, and Raven Symone.

Check out VH1′s exclusive photos and behind the scenes footage from the ESSENCE Commemorative Hollywood issue on sale now.

J. Lo Welcomes Babies into World of Ridiculous Privilege

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jenniferlopez.jpgHello, new Lopez-Anthony royalty. We do not know your names yet, little twins, but let us imagine them to be Jennifer 2: The Sequel and Mennifer. You are new to this earth – only 12 hours old – but surely you are already wise. You have seen how sexy and glamorous that woman whose breasts you are not allowed to suckle is, and surely you’ve marveled at the Armani couture birthing garment that she wore for your special day. You’ve been swaddled in diapers made of zebra hair and silk and nestled into your nursery as Diana Ross herself sings you lullabies. You are special. You are spoiled. Enjoy it. Don’t feel bad when you are each driven around in your own Escalade pulled by Clydesdale horses. Do not resist the temptation to carry around that miniature Balenciaga bag. You can do whatever you want – BUT! – whatever you do, do not be seen rolling with those Federline boys. They’re already bad news. [People]

Friday: Paris Pops a Boob Out

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parispink.jpgAaron Carter Jailed in Texas after Drug Arrest
The former teen heartthrob is now a pothead, and was nabbed with two ounces of weed in his car. [People]

Sam Must Stay Away from Brit
Brit’s former friend got served with his restraining order last night and can’t go anywhere near the pop star. But who will crush up her pills and dope her up now? [TMZ]

Paris Slips Nip, Reminds You She’s Still Hot
We’ve seen her boobs so many times, we can barely remember what we’re staring at. Nipples can’t save you from jumping the shark, P! [Gawker]

Nicole Richie Skips Mommy-ing for Table Dancing
Girls just want to have fun, even if they’ve got kids at home. [Us]

OMG! Ashton Kutcher Partied at Tainted Club
NYC hot spot Socialista has come down with a serious hepatitis scare, and a bunch of stars were just there! National emergency! [NYP]