When you’re a super serious legal pundit you’ve got to keep your super serious side up all the time. Even when your pals are pulling a fast one on you. Evidently Ms. Grace doesn’t cotton to cheap celeb sensuality and barnyard procreation.
Oh No They Didn’t: Friday’s Review Rage
Every week we round up selections from the funniest, most obscene and brutal film criticism out there so that you know when to blow your cash at the theaters and laugh a little at Hollywood’s expense. This week: The hysterically funny insta-classic, Knocked Up.
"Standing ovulation! Former ‘Virgins’ deliver another knock-out." – The New York Post
"There’s no way pin-up-pretty Katherine Heigl would end up with soaked-in-bongwater Seth Rogen, not even while drunk on a gallon of Everclear and stoned on a field of your finest homegrown." – The Village Voice
"Most women, I imagine, will scoff with incredulity . . . Ben [Seth Rogen] is the last person [Katherine Heigl] would have chosen. Most men, meanwhile, will be too busy watching through their fingers. To them, this is The Omen." – The New Yorker
Big Bod Jordin Fibbed About Her Voice
It seems like everyone on American Idol (Katherine and Ruben, to name a few) has body issues, including it’s newest teen queen, Jordin Sparks. The winner recently revealed that her stint on the hit show helped her learn to love her voluptuous frame. At 5’10” tall and wearing a size 12, she “stood out everywhere” in her pre-Idol days, and envied her tinier friends, wondering “why can’t I look like that?”
But her grandmother says that her Idol success has “really helped boost her self-esteem and made her realize she’s beautiful as she is.” Tall is beautiful! Just ask puny runner-up Blake – I’m sure he wouldn’t mind stealing a couple of inches.
Blog Best-Of: Alba’s Abasement
- Jessica Alba says, "Most days I wake up and look in the mirror and go, ‘ugh.’ I don’t really think I look all that great." Amazing how modesty can enhance a girl’s hotness, huh? [Dlisted]
- Lindsay Lohan has no plans to cancel her 21st birthday party. You didn’t really expect her to take rehab straight with no chaser, did you? [Best Week Ever]
- An up-the-skirt shot of Beyoncé reveals something that looks a hell of a lot like a penis in her panties. "Frustrated drag queen," it is, then! [Rhymes With Snitch]
- Speaking of penises, T-Pain comments on Ray J‘s: "He got a foot on him…no homo." No homo, my ass. And his. [Crunk + Disorderly]
- Christina Aguilera‘s new perfume is deemed "tacky" and "cheap" by market research groups. When reached for comment, Christina replied, "Duh. That’s the point." [A Socialite's Life]
[Image credit: Getty]
Celebrity Fit Club: Men Vs. Women Recap – Episode 6 – When the Dust’s Away…
In this episode, this happens:
In less exciting news, Dustin is nowhere to be found for most of our show. Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing…
Roots, Beer, and “Attractive Women”
Of course you don’t have all day to find out how ZZ Top got their start. So to ‘splain you this stuff, we’ve concocted a 60-second clip that illustrates how Dusty, Billy, and the guy without the beard came to be. Here’s the true genesis of that little band from Texas.
New York Gets Charming
This Sunday’s episode of Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School starring Mo’Nique features the show’s most special guest yet: New York! Watch an exclusive preview below: see what happens when New York is brought in to interview the girls. Think she can resist pushing their buttons? Think again — this is New York we’re talking about, a woman who brings her own meaning to the phrase "New York hospitality." Besides, what would Celebreality be without a little HBIC up in the place?
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Paris Packs For Prison In Tears
She won’t be locked up for five more days, but Paris has already got a cellmate. Jail officials have chosen an inmate serving time for reckless driving to stand-in for sidekick Nicole Richie while the heiress is behind bars. We smell a new reality show! Welcome to The Sentenced Life.
Hilton is relishing her last few days of freedom by roaming around on
the arm of a mysterious new boy-toy, but close friends reveal that when
the cameras aren’t around, the tears start flowing. "She breaks down
crying a lot because she just can’t deal with the reality and pressure
of everything that is happening," says one pal.
Babymakers: Top 40 Softsational Songs
Looks like Knocked Up has put practically everyone in a babymaking mood. Premiering tomorrow night on VH1, The 40 Most Softsational Soft-Rock Songs counts down the artists whose bedroom eyes — not to mention throaty vocals and cleverly teased hair — helped generations of Americans make generations of other Americans. Watch and you’ll learn more than you ever thought possible about these classics from the ’70s and ’80s, featuring the works of the gone-but-never-forgotten likes of Captain & Tennille, Leo Sayer and Kansas. Smooooooooth. Spoiler alert: Click below to find out who’s in the top three . . . and start your soft-rocking immediately.
Daddy-Lo Dishes On Lindsay’s Fave Drug
Michael Lohan, a recovering addict
who’s training to be a drug counselor, is blabbing that his baby girl
is trying to kick not just alcohol and blow, but OxyContin. Takes one
to know one, I guess. Hey, Daddy-Lo, didn’t you hear your kid’s
tear-filled jam "Confessions Of A Broken Heart"? She’s still mad about
that whole "screwed your family, got sent to jail" thing and wants you
to leave her alone! Unless, of course, you know where she could get
some of that prescription drug deliciousness. Then you should
definitely give her a call.
And Linds isn’t alone in her crisis. Famous pals have got her back. Find out who after the jump!
