Britney: It Costs A Lot to Be Crazy

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britneymoney.jpgOops! Britney went a little crazy last year, and she’s got the empty bank account. Since her head-shaving meltdown, Brit’s spent over $61 million dollars on legal fees, rehab, and hospital care – not too mention all the clothes, bags, Mercedes and lighters she picked up along her tumultuous journey.

Because B didn’t tour – or do anything, really – when her album Blackout dropped, she screwed herself out of close to$50 million! But now that papa Jamie is in control of her cash flow, things have evened out. “She’s spending about a fifth of what she used to,” says an insider. Yup, Britney’s making her own coffee at home and bringing it with her to work at the dance studio! Now THAT’S how you save money, peeps. [In Touch]

Madonna Ties One On With Timberlake

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If you spotted Madonna yesterday, you were probably surprised to find her looking a little less energetic than usual. In an uncharacteristic move for the work-out-aholic and mother of three, Madge went out after her triumphant Roseland show and “tied one on” with her evening co-star, Justin Timberlake. “We had to celebrate,” a groggy Madonna told Ryan Seacrest when she called into his morning show. “[We] decided we both work too hard and have to have fun.” Drinks with Justin Timberlake sounds like fun to us. The star reportedly sipped on a martini at her after party at New York’s The Box, then had a shot of tequila and a lemon drop.

Bret Does Manilow, Raises Money for Kids

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Bret Michaels‘ appearance on last night’s episode of Fox’s Don’t Forget the Lyrics is clipped above in a highlights reel of sorts. Watch Bret sing Quiet Riot’s “Cum on Feel the Noize,” and, even more unlikely, Barry Manilow’s “Looks Like We Made It” (although we have to admit that the fact that he passed up singing “Wind Beneath My Wings” hurts our collective hearts). Bret played the game show to raise money for juvenile diabetes research and St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. He ended up with a pretty penny for both causes — watch the clip above to find out.

And below, a bonus clip:

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Usher Trashes Hollywood Baby Pimpers

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usher.jpgCalling Brangelina, TomKat, X-Tina, Nicole, and Jarc Lopanthony!!! Usher thinks you and your million dollar baby photos are disgusting! He’s speaking out against all the celebs who accept cash from mags in exchange for baby pics, and he’s pissssssed. “In no way would I ever pimp out my child for money,” he growled to Page Six after rumors swelled that he too was selling pics of his newborn, Usher V. “I am livid that people talk about my child.”

He also ranted about the (mis)treatment of his wife Tameka, stating, “I stand by her as a man loving my wife and being there for my child . . . this is my wife and I would hope that [people] would respect my wife and my marriage and who I have chosen to spend my life with.” Certainly we respect Usher’s opinion (his wife is another story) and agree with his baby-pimpin’ stance. Still, we find it a little odd that he’d then pose with his son – for free – on the cover of the June issue of Essence magazine. Isn’t it possible to pimp even if no cash exchanges hands? [Page Six]

Lost: Christian Shephard’s Resurrection

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Like the black smoke monster in last week’s episode, this entire season of Lost has chugged along like a freight train. Last night’s “Something Nice Back Home” had an array of stories to tell. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with looking from side to side and taking in the lay of the land. It was kind of nice…quaint, even. But with a shorter than normal season, followed by a reduced number of post-strike episodes, a storytelling session is not what I was expecting.

Jack and Claire both got visits from Daddy, Jin pwned Charlotte, Kate scampered around in her skivvies, Claire left Aaron safely in a tree (huh?), Karl and Danielle took dirt naps, Hurley played the telephone game with Jack, Sawyer’s heart grew three sizes and Miles was still a douche. Let’s run this thing down:

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Beyonce’s Baby On Its Way!

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Holy crap everyone! A blog, Hollyscoop, has “learned exclusively through multiple sources that Beyonce is expecting.” OMG!!! This completely anonymous source assures the world that B is in her early stages and that everyone at their wedding knew the good news, however she won’t reveal it for a while because ya know, they’re super private. Except, of course, when it comes to talking to this anonymous source, natch, who also alleged that they had a shotgun wedding due to the pregnancy.

Wow! Guess what? I have an exclusive anonymous source (my cat) who can reveal that Britney Spears is going to be the democratic nominee for President and that Paris Hilton has gotten rid of her Bentleys and plans to ride horses around Beverly Hills in order to stop pollution! Oh, they’ve also give me an exclusive pic of Beyonce and Jay-Z‘s yet to be born baby decked out in Dereon (see above)! Anonymous sources are like super heroes, ya’ll. Totally amazing and 100% fake!