Janet: No Wardobe Malfunction Here!

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Janet Jackson, whose new Discipline disc exudes all things sexy (listen to the entire CD for free on Rhapsody), rocked yesterday’s Good Morning America performance in an outfit any righteous Puritan would love. At first we were perplexed by her look – why pull your giant pants up over your shoulders and fasten the whole thing with a massive leather belt when you’re as hot as Ms. J? But then we realized: girl is pulling all the stops to ensure that she remains free of any and all wardrobe malfunctions. And while we understand her concern, we’re gonna be honest – we love it when Janet’s clothes come off, because we love Janet, nipple slips and all. Watch a clip of the performance after the jump. What do you think of Janet’s latest look – love it or leave it?

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American Idol: Those Sweet ’70s Sounds

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Your American Idol oddsmaker faltered last week: hope none of you were placing bets. To your faithful bookie’s incredible surprise, Chikezie and Jason Yeager lived to sing another day, while Garrett Haley (admittedly poor) and Colton Berry (far from the worst) were sent packing. So this week, no odds for you — you’ll have to pony up your own ante. It’s a good thing, too; ’70s night gave the contestants a chance to upend all expectations, and the dimmest stars of last week have suddenly rocketed to the fore. Let’s take a look:

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Wednesday: Pam’s Disappearing Divorce

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pamanderson.jpgMischa Barton’s a DUI Diva
Her life continues to mirror a bad O.C. script. We have a feeling being a troubled waif isn’t as fun in real life as it is playing one on TV. [People]

Pam Anderson Asks for Annulment
Pam is asking to erase her divorce from the record, but we’ll never forget that she married Paris Hilton’s sex tapin’ boyfriend. Never! [Us]

Michael Jackson’s Loses Neverland Ranch
Goodbye ferris wheel. Farewell giraffes and lions. We knew it was too good – and too creepy – to last. [Us]

Academy Awards to Whoopi : Whoops!
Omitting Goldberg from their montage of memorable moments was all a big mistake! Kind of like giving Crash that Best Picture nod a few years back.

Katie Holmes: Packin’ Baby Heat?
Katie is “glowing” and wearing loose-fitting dresses! She must be pregnant – or she just ate some really good Mexican food. [Ok!]

Exclusive: Mariah Heads To Bed With a Nerd

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Yesterday we snuck you a look at 45 seconds of Mariah’s new video for “Touch My Body.” With the dorky guy from 30 Rock, frisbees and lingerie pillow fights, we didn’t think it could get any more awesomely bizarre. We were wrong.

Each time the diva releases a new album, we learn something new about her. Here’s a few things we picked up from the video:

1. It’s totally fine to open your door to delivery men, technicians and other guests wearing little more than a bra and panties.

2. Mariah’s a worthy opponent at Laser Tag.

3. She raided Britney Spears‘ costume trailer from “Baby One More Time.”

4. She’s a total tech nerd, quite fluent in the language of upload times.

Battle of the Butts: CoCo vs. Kardashian

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You know it’s a slow news day when Rachel Bilson‘s bangs are a big story, so what better time to take a break, sit back, and enjoy the many poses of Ice-T‘s wife Nicole “CoCo” Austin?! We’ve grabbed some of our favorite pics snapped recently of CoCo for you, including some of her workin’ it as hype-woman for her rapping hubby over New Years Eve weekend. But after marveling in the glory that is her butt, we’ve begun to wonder – is CoCo giving resident booty queen Kim Kardashian a run for her money? Have a look and see for yourself – the battle of the butts has just begun!

CoCo steps it up!

Kim’s infamous backside:

Flav’s Romance: Benihana, Earhole, Bowling

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You get a couple of motor mouths like Flavor Flav and Conan O’Brien yacking it up and anything is liable to come out. Our main man sat down with the talk-show host last night, spewing his tips on how to turn an ordinary evening into a sultry night of love. See what he has to say about taking over restaurants, whispering sweet nothings, and knocking down some pins.

After Oscar: Elton John Knows How to Party

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Despite the news that most of the Oscars‘ usual after-party-fanfare had been canceled in light of the writers’ strike (shame on you, Vanity Fair, for shame!), there was still plenty of action. The celebrities were in fine moods. Just see how they were behaving on the red carpet (above) — and it only got better. (Well, except for Gary Busey, but we digress.) Most dropped in on Elton John’s AIDS Foundation after-party at the Pacific Design Center. Among those who attended were Marion Cotillard, Harrison Ford, George Clooney, Sean Penn, Sharon Stone, the Coen brothers, Courtney Love, Heidi Klum and Seal, Daniel Day-Lewis, Anne Hathaway . . . and Sir Elton himself, who, when asked if he ever got starstruck, responded: “Of course I get starstruck! Mary J. is coming! Ahhhhh!” We love superstars when they’re being effusive. Check back tomorrow for video from the shindig.

Look and Smell Like Amy Winehouse

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winehouseAmy Winehouse is adding to her already extensive resume; in addition to being a Grammy-award winning singer, a convict’s wife, and — depending on when you talk to her — a habitual drug user (or a recovering one), Winehouse is planning on releasing a line of cosmetic products. Known more for her voice than her personal hygiene, Winehouse does sport a unique style that’s been cited by designers as inspiring since she first hit the scene.

“Amy’s style has been copied by girls around the country and there’s a lot of money to be made. It’s a very distinctive look,” a source close to the deal told The Sun. In anticipation of the cosmetics deal Amy is sitting down to ink his week, we came up with a prospective product line:

*Rat’s Nest Hair Spray

*Lip Stain in Self-Harm

*Easy-Run Eye Liner for visiting your hubby in jail (color: Blake Incarcerated)

*Eau d’ Hotel Mini Bar

*Nose Powder

Whoopi Goldberg Weeps Over Oscar Diss

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We’re not really into seeing famous people cry, unless it’s Paris Hilton. We just expect them to maintain some sort of stone-faced, plastic composure because you know – they’re famous (and because part of them probably IS plastic). But we got a little misty-eyed after The View women rallied around their pal Whoopi Goldberg, who was inexplicably left out of a montage honoring every Oscar host at the Academy Awards on Sunday night. Also missing was Steve Martin, but that didn’t seem to appease the comedienne, who was the first woman AND first African-American to host the snooze-fest. Not to mention, she won a statue for her work in Ghost! Whoopi got choked up about the whole thing and the result is a touching hugfest that reeks of estrogen. Awww, girl power.

What do you think - did the Academy slight Whoopi on purpose or was it all a big mistake?