- Rihanna is certified perfect and if you disagree, you’re probably blind. Ella. Ella. Ella. Hey, hey, hey. [Crunk + Disorderly]

- The now-iconic pictures of Lindsay Lohan passed out in the front seat of an SUV get defaced in a hilarious feature called “Stuff on My Lohan.” It’s amazing what Photoshop can do to bring out your inner frat boy. [CityRag]

- In other Lindsay news, her (former?) man Callum Best has been caught with his pants down, snorting drugs off hookers. Look, buddy, Lindsay Lohan is the only hooker you should be snorting drugs off. And don’t you forget it! [Best Week Ever]

- After George Michael was found slumped over the wheel of his car in October, sleeping medication, an anti-depressant, GHB and cannabis were found in his system. Sounds like quite the party – what’s the problem? [Towleroad]

- LL Cool J has a nip slip, but will he become the scapegoat that Janet Jackson did? Doubtful. That’s sexist America for you! [Bossip]

In Touch Weekly has acquired what’s said to be the email invite to Nicole Richie‘s Memorial Day Party. It rhymes and is awesome. Here it is:

Beyond the prophetic nature of the rhyming portion (since Mischa Barton really did pass out), the highlighted section is really the genius of this invite. If this is real, Nicole Richie has a postmodern sense of her celebrity. Despite her reputation and blog gossip, Nicole Richie has always contended that she doesn’t suffer from an eating disorder. With this invite, she’s mocking the mockers — she isn’t merely laughing at herself, she’s laughing at this media-spun image of herself. Maybe she really is anorexic (I mean, look at her), but that would make the joke even more devious (for then she’s spinning her problem so hard, she’s actually aligning with her detractors).

No matter what the underlying truth is, if this email is real, Nicole Richie is a socialite who’s too smart for her own good. She’s practically a unicorn.

- Eating-disorder rumors swirl around Angelina Jolie. She’s just a product of the system: starving yourself is what you do when there are younger, much, much hungrier toothpicks nipping at your heels. That’s showbiz! [Dlisted]

- Lindsay Lohan officially checks in to rehab. Haven’t we heard this before, though? [TMZ.com]

- Mariah Carey is set to play herself in a 15-minute short movie directed by Spike Lee. Some people get bored of being themselves; those people are not Mariah Carey. [Crunk + Disorderly]

- Beyoncé: “I’m a frustrated drag queen!” Wow. That one just writes itself. Erm…touché? [Bossip]

- Pam Anderson explains her infamous sex tape with Tommy Lee to her children. That right there is a rite of passage for the new millennium. It’d be a beautiful thing if it weren’t so, you know, disgusting. [A Socialite's Life]

[Image credit: Getty]