Friday: Paris Gets Fugly for Love

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paris-benji-0314.jpgBenji and Paris: Adventures in Horrible Fashion
Paris Hilton and Benji Madden fugged it up on the streets of LA in two serious fashion don’ts. There’s nothing cuter than a couple that embraces bad outfits together! [X17]

Wanna Date Scarlett? Fork Over $40,000
A Brit bid $40 Gs to go on a date with the pretty star, with all proceeds going to Oxfam. [Us]

Britney Beloved on “How I Met Your Mother” Set
The entire cast of the ABC show is in awe of their troubled guest star, and only had wonderful things to say about Brit. Maybe she can make some real friends, for once! [Us]

Nicole Kidman Kicks Ass to Protect Baby
Check out this vid of Nic’s bodyguard going ballistic on a paparazzi. Kinda scary, seriously awesome. [DListed]

Remy Ma’s Trial Hits a Bump
No one brought to the stand has been able to pin last summer’s shooting on the rapper. Will she walk? [NYP]

Rehab Review: Behind the Scenes of the Celebrity Rehab Reunion

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“I was reminded again how incredibly brave and open those guys were. They just throw themselves into stuff,” Dr. Drew told me a few days after the taping Celebrity Rehab reunion late last month. Not that I needed reminding. I hung around backstage that day from early afternoon through the five-hour (!) finale shoot, and witnessed a group of people to whom sharing themselves comes as easy as breathing. Just try to get them to hold back!

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Celebrity Fit Club Breakdown – Episode 1 – Overweight Snakes in the Grass

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Been craving your fix of celebrities rolling in mud and running up balance beams all in the name of losing weight and winning $100 grand? Good news – Celebrity Fit Club is back! Even better – the show – which sticks the stars in boot camp – is filling, delicious and calorie free! Sounds tasty, right?

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Brit”s New Video: She Looks Better Animated

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Brit couldn’t pull it together to shoot a video for “Break the Ice,” so instead she’s grabbed a cartoon, laid the track over it, and has released it as the official video. Back when Korn dropped their “Freak on a Leash” clip — almost 10 years ago — the whole animated idea was fresh and hip. Britney’s take is just stale, and it’s not just her fault! The girl can barely leave her house, much less shoot something for a couple of days. But doesn’t she pay someone, somewhere, to make these decisions for her? Oh — maybe that’s what Sam Lutfi was for. Oh well. Enjoy Britney — cartoon weave and all — above.

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90210 Returns, Peach Pit Set For Renovations

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While that headline might be another example of our penchant for hyperbole, the development geniuses at the CW have made us very happy today, announcing that they’re in the early stages of bringing back . . . wait for it . . . Beverly Hills 90210. They’ve already brought us the most entertaining teen soap ever in Gossip Girl (sorry, O.C.), which not only has introduced a whole generation of Teen Vogue readers to young women other than Rihanna and Lauren Conrad, but has also piqued interest coast-to-coast in the daily doings of Manhattan’s super-wealthy teens. Apparently they’re planning the same sort of take-over in L.A. No word as yet what, exactly, the new 90210 will entail, or whether any of the original cast members will be on the show, but it’s sure to be entertaining. We’d really like to see Brandon and Brenda Walsh, Dylan McKay, Kelly Taylor, Donna Martin and David Silver (and, sigh, Andrea Zuckerman, we guess) as they are now, in their mid 30s, struggling with early onset midlife crises, but maybe that’s just us. As soon as we know more, we’ll let you know.

Is Nicky Hilton Way Too Skinny?

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A bunch o’ blogs freaked recently after pics of Nicky Hilton revealed that the socialite’s bod is looking a little bony these days, but the starlet is not having the rumors. Nicky spoke out about the hoopla at her recent fashion show, stating, “There’s no truth to any starvation, eating disorders, rumors. I think the press has been printing a lot of pictures of me from unflattering angles.”Peep the two pics of Nick above and decide for yourself. Even if she has gotten skinnier, the girl’s always been long and ultra-lean. Kinda makes you wonder how these girls get so gaunt, huh? [People]

Spitzer’s Super-Cute Call Girl Revealed

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We haven’t seen that many professional prostitutes, so we’re not sure where “Kristen,” the lady at the center of the Eliot Spitzer scandal, falls on the hot hooker scale. But frankly, we think she’s a 10. The escort’s real name (which is actually her stage name) has been revealed as Ashley Alexandra Dupre and she’s a 22-year-old from Jersey living in the Big Apple with hopes of breaking into the music biz. She’s apparently holed up in her apartment, hiding from the hordes of press stationed down below, but we can at least get to know her via her pics and tracks. Gawker’s got a breakdown of her life deets as well as tons of pics of the pretty lady. Surely the commotion right now is hard to handle, but this is nothing a Playboy cover and a stint on Oprah can’t fix. Get to it, Ash! [Ashley's MySpace]

Toccara Puts the “Fit” in Fit Club

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toccara_mag_sm.jpgAmerica’s Next Top Model alum Toccara Jones is trying a second hand at Celebrity Fit Club (the new season, Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp, premieres tonight at 9/8c), and from the looks of her photo shoot in the may issue of King, reality TV does a body good.

In the article, the thick-and-proud part-time pin-up talks about her upcoming fitness DVD, sexual fantasies involving fruit and how this season of Fit Club is different than the others: “This season…isn’t so much about losing weight. It’s about our fit factor, which means gaining muscle. I wanted to prove to people that you could be healthy, athletic, fabulous and curvy without being a certain size or having to fit into this Body Mass Index that they have.”

True to form, she says her weight loss has only done positive things of her curves: “[It] just makes my breasts fit better in my bras. I don’t have the double-dip, like when you wear your bra and have that overage.” Fascinating. Even more fascinating: her cup size is (and has been) a G.

Check out her ample offerings in shots from the rag below.

And don’t forget: You can win a four-night vacation at Club Med Ixtapa Pacific in Mexico…and your own personal training session with Harvey. If you’re the sort of masochist to whom this would appeal, then get ready to have your mind blown: the package includes hotel, airfare, transportation and a variety of goodies. Enter to win here.

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American Idol: The Stripper Goes Down

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The stage is bigger, the contestants edgier, the crowd louder, the cross-promotions more brazen: It’s officially Finals Season on American Idol. Our big 12 took a crack at the Lennon/McCartney songbook this week, to such acclaim (and 29 million votes) that next week we’ll continue butchering the Beatles’ legacy.

But first things first — somebody had to go home last night. After some grandstanding from an elephant-nosed Jim Carrey (Horton Hears a Who — as Ryan pointed out in one of his more incisive gestures, also a Fox venture — is the cause celebre of this season’s Idol) and a group performance of a Beatles medley (which shows, as always, that Idol mints solo stars, not group talent), the bottom three were revealed:

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Thursday: Brangelina’s Birth Plans

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brangelina.jpgBritney Builds Jamie-Lynn’s Nursery
Big sister Spears is spending over $30,000 to decorate J-L’s nursery in Louisiana. That’s what crazy siblings are for! [MSNBC]

Brangelina Say Bonjour to France
The couple is house-shopping in the European country, looking for a place to nest with their new baby. Au revoir! [Us]

Girls Gone Wild Founder Free from Jail
Watch out ladies! Creepy Joe Francis is on the loose and looking to see your boobs again. [TMZ]

Pics: Top Model’s Terrible Mess
Damn! Check out what Tyra’s peeps did to their NYC home away from home. Fierce! [TMZ]

Wino’s Dad : My Affair Messed Amy Up
Now we’re learning the Winehouse family secrets that may have contributed to Amy’s issues. Blame the parents! [Us]