Usher’s Wife: Video Sabotage!

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Uh oh – all was peaceful after their baby was born, but Mrs. Usher is back and churning up the drama all over again. Tameka Foster, who married Usher this fall, was allegedly very unhappy that her man handpicked singer/songwriter hottie Keri Hilson to play his love interest in the video for his new song “Love in the Club.” A spy on set revealed that “Tameka is very insecure. Even in rehearsals she was weird and clearly not happy that Keri is so gorgeous. Tameka threw a lot of attitude.”

She even went so far as to uglify Keri (and possibly risk the hotness of her hubby’s video) by dressing her down and not allowing her to bring her hairdresser on set. “The day of the shoot, Tameka dressed Keri very badly – she looked like an extra,” revealed the source. Tameka also apparently banned Usher’s longtime choreographer from the video set, and she’s had strained relations with his mom in the past as well. How long is it gonna take for Usher to notice that she might be, uh, isolating him out of her own insecurities? [NYP]

Tyra Leaving Top Model? Fat Chance!

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Calm down, Top Model fiends. We know it was alleged today that Tyra Banks is desperate to dump the popular American’s Next Top Model in order to focus on her mediocre talk show. Apparently there’s also a rift between her and Mr. Jay Manuel that’s also adding to her supposed exit. But let’s be real – that ain’t NEVER gonna happen!

1. If Tyra doesn’t like someone, she just gives them the boot! If Mr. Jay was really that much of an issue, wouldn’t he be expelled just like Janice Dickenson, Twiggy and Nole Marin? Tyra loves kicking people off her show – it’s the whole basis of Top Model!

2. Let’s be frank – girlfriend LIVES for this show. She loves counseling young souls who look up to her with giant doe eyes almost as much as she loves berating them from her perch in the judging room (see video above for proof). How could she give that up?

3. America’s Next Top Model is by far THE most important show to air on television since its inception over sixty years ago. I Love Lucy, Sixty Minutes, Saturday Night Live – these shows pale in comparison to the cultural significance Top Model represents. It is beyond groundbreaking and earth shattering programming – it is a weekly revolution. [Ed. note: I'm only saying this in case Tyra IS serious about taking away Top Model. We need our weekly fierce fest!]

American Idol: Archuleta On His Way Home?

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Last night on American Idol we heard songs written in our top ten contestant’s respective birth years. Despite Paula’s festive sequined and satin gloved ensemble, the tone of the evening was more “couldn’t care less” than “party dress.” A cranky Randy was harder on the contestants than ever, matching Simon’s pessimism in response to a string of blasé performances. Thankfully, David Cook was able to save the snoozefest, giving a maybe-pregnant Carly Smithson and a maybe-not-as-talented-as-we-once-thought David Archuleta a run for their money.

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Mariah & The Hills Belong Together

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Of course Mariah did “Touch My Body” when she performed on Monday night’s premiere party for The Hills – you’ve heard of marketing synergy, right? But the mini-skirted singer also reached back a couple years to the stone classic that single-handedly revitalized her career, a lil sumpun sumpun called “We Belong Together.” Working a mildly raspy voice during the verses, Carey gave her mega-hit a new sensuality – file it under simmering passion. And check that Long Island accent peeking through when she introduces the song.

Old People Do The Hills

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You’ve seen the same drama from The Hills girls over and over again, but it’s a whole new beast when performed by senior citizens! We love this clip of two aging ladies hashing it out as Lauren and Heidi, in an encore performance of the girls’ final fight last season. You know the one – Heidi shows up at Lauren’s house with flowers, basically admits that Spencer started those sex tape rumors, and then tells Lauren to “have a nice life.” Our favorite! Give it a watch and you’ll be hooked on the geriatric version of the show and it’s stars. Orthopedic shoes are WAY better for you than stilettos, after all. [Celebitchy]

Wednesday: Wino Waves Goodbye to London

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winehouse.jpgAmy Winehouse Off to African Rehab
Detox in the UK didn’t work, so why not try a totally new continent?! [TheSun]

Jamie Lynn Spears: 16, Pregnant & Engaged
Brit’s sis has been showing off her engagement ring given to her by her 18-year old BF Casey. At least she didn’t have to buy it for herself, like some people we/she knows. [People]

Is Ryan Phillipe Jealous of Jake G?
The actor speaks out about his wife’s currently relationship with super-hottie Jake Gyllenhaal. We think he’s probably more jealous of Jake’s career than he is of him dating Reese. [Us]

Paparazzi Breaks up with Brit
Photogs are sick of Brit and have moved on to Miley. We have a hunch that the feeling’s mutual. [NYDN]

Shiloh and Suri – 2 Years Later

Wow Shiloh and Suri have had more exciting lives in 2 years than we’ve had in 30. Is it too soon to call them jerks? [Ok!]

Key to Snoop’s Success: Sex, Weed and Fighting

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Snoop DoggIt seems like Snoop Dogg strolls down every red carpet that is rolled out in every corner of the world, not to mention he just taped a new Storytellers for VH1. (Coming Friday: a sneak peek and exclusive online clip.) How did the rapper/actor become such a pop culture fixture? To answer this question is to lay out a blueprint for struggling artists and actors everywhere.

Some might believe Snoop is so ubiquitous because he’s sold millions of albums. This is not the case. There’s plenty of multi-platinum selling rappers that aren’t household names. Others believe Snoop’s fame comes from hustling. Pimp C hustled. Was he invited to red carpet events around the world?

The answer, I believe, lies in Snoop’s face — his bold, cinematic face. When Snoop scowls, the paparazzi goes crazy. His meanly-contorted face, backed up by run-ins with the law, adds a sense of danger and excitement to otherwise drab events. But in order to emulate Snoop, it’s critical to understand what drives those theatrical expressions.

To this end, I spent hours studying hundreds of Snoop Dogg photographs. At first I was bewildered, reading emotions into his face that simply aren’t there, including self-doubt, happiness and remorsefulness. You see, Snoop has three — and only three — thoughts that drive each and every look on his face. (Although sometimes they cross over with one another, producing facial contortions that are slightly harder to interpret.) If you are a wannabe pop star or actor, then think about one of the following lines whenever you’re in front of a camera. Like Snoop, you might end up with the career of your dreams.

Snoop Dogg’s Three Thoughts:

1. I’m About to F*ck You Up

2. You Gonna Get It, Doggystyle

3. Bitch, Roll Me Another Blunt

To prove my point, I’ve paired 16 images with Snoop’s thoughts at the time of each shot.

“I’m About to F*ck You Up” and “Bitch, Roll Me Another Blunt”

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“I’m About to F*ck You Up”

Snoop: “I’m About to F*ck You Up”

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ego trip’s Miss Rap Supreme: See the House, Meet the Girls

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Above, a Hitchcockian tour of the house used on ego trip’s Miss Rap Supreme, as guided by one of the show’s hosts, MC Serch.

Below, a close-up look at all the rhyme-slinging women who will compete for the title of Miss Rap Supreme, starting April 14, when the elimination-based reality series debuts on VH1. It’s gonna be an iambic-pentameter-heavy spring. Trust!

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Diddy Thinks You’ve Got Bitchassness

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Diddy has added his touch to the English language with his new word, “bitchassness.” Say that a couple of times and it’ll roll off your tongue all nice and easy. Bitchassness apparently grew out of some less than appealing behavior displayed on the mogul’s Making the Band show, and while we’re not totes sure what it means, we’re obsessed (and think we probably have a case of it ourselves). We could simply just Google the word to try to figure out it’s exact Diddy-definition, but we thought it’d be more fun to poll some peeps and see what they come up with. Check out their answers below, and be sure to drop it into every sentence you say. Your mom will love it! [Hollyscoop]

Bitchassness \bitch-aahs-niss\, noun/verb/whatever you want it to be.

  1. Guess #1: having the nature of being a bitchass punk.
  2. Guess #2: an ass with a little bit of sass.
  3. Guess #3: acting exceedingly lame.
  4. Guess #4 (from huge fan of MTB who’s in the know): not pulling your weight and still acting like you’re hot shit.