You Name It: Flav Gets Busy n’ Bubbly

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Lots of photos simply beg for a narrative. Whether it’s nasty or silly is up to you — we want you to feel free to read the minds of the celebs and weirdos in our images. Write your caption for the below photo in our comments section. Extra points for creativity! This time: twin sisters Thing 1 and Thing 2 get frisky with Flav on Flavor of Love 3.

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American Idol: The Men vs. the ’80s

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The stakes have never been higher on American Idol. The boys are down to 8, and with only ’80s week standing between them and the Final 12, the pressure’s on. The ’80s are a decade whose vogue hasn’t ended yet, but most of the guys opted for balladry, slow-tempo jams not entirely suited to the bombastic decade that brought the world Duran Duran, Culture Club and Madonna’s early singles. This week, the contestants’ video revelations of their most embarrassing moments brought more spark than most of their performances. Who will still be with us for Beatles Week? Let’s take a look.

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Prepare Yourself for More Kim Craziness

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kim_main.jpgAre you excited for the next season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians? Hell to the yes! Kim’s given Page Six a sneak peek at the upcoming madness (watch it HERE!), which looks to be a season filled with shouting, yelling, squealing, and boobs. Perfect! Kim is apparently just returning back to the states from a romantic vaca with her football stud boyfriend Reggie Bush. The pair holed up in a $1000/night bungalow (droooool) and chilled at the pool and got spa treatments at their Dominican Republic hotel. Kim’s also been busy shooting a commercial for American Eagle under the watchful eye of Entourage star Adrian Grenier, which leads us to ask, what’s her former BFF Paris Hilton been up to lately?

If you’ve been missing your weekly dose of Kim-mania on your TV, check out some pics below to tie you over.

[All images: Getty]

American Idol‘s Danny Noriega Hates You

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In an unfortunate turn of events, poor Danny Noriega (whose spin on “Tainted Love” last night was horrid) is appearing all over the Internets in a video (see above). In the 30-second clip, recorded some unspecified time ago, Noriega sings “We wish you a merry Christmas” before lapsing into vulgarity and insults. Specifically, he says he hopes that Santa rapes your mom. And so ends Mr. Noriega’s 14th minute. Tune into American Idol on Thursday night to see whether or not Simon and company will finish Noriega’s chance at stardom permanently.

Madonna Wants To Be Your Dog

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Rolling Stone tells us that The Stooges are going to be saluting their Motor City sister Madonna at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies next Monday night, March 10. (VH1 Classic is airing the entire show live at 8:30 pm.). Crazy, right? But crazy is good. What Madge track would you like to see Iggy and the boys rip apart? Let’s assume it isn’t “Papa Don’t Preach” and let’s hope it’s “Into The Groove.” And if you really want to be a dreamer, imagine a world where the Material Lady has a bit too much bubbly, heaves her yoga pad in the corner, and jumps on stage to help the boys ramrod through “Real Cool Time.”

Other heroes will celebrate their forebears, too. Damien Rice (read a classic interview here) will salute Leonard Cohen, James Cotton will evoke Little Walter, and Gamble & Huff will get a tip of the hat from Patti LaBelle. Watch videos by some of the inductees.

Who are you psyched to see?

Wednesday: K-Fed’s Cheeto Binge

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kevinfederline.jpgDamn! K-Fed Got K-Fat
Brit’s ex has gotten big in the belly. Maybe he should take one of her dance classes and get in shape? [Us]

Scarlett Plays House with Ryan Reynolds
The hot couple are taking things to the next level and shacking up together. Think Woody Allen’s jealous? [NYDN]

Heidi Montag’s Step-Brother Dies in Freak Accident
It’s the first real thing to happen to the “star” in ages. Our condolences. [Us]

Jessica Drops Cash on Vegas Condo
Simpson splurged on a fancy Vegas condo, and you can check out the pics. We’ll now be avoiding Sin City at all costs! [Us]

Did Mary-Kate Try to Fix her Face?
Either the twin’s had surgery, or she’s scrunching her face up in a really weird way. [Cityrag]

Rock of Love: Hula-Hooping Striptease

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What makes a rock star? Rock of Love‘s Bret Michaels attempts to answer that particular age-old question in the clip above. Here, the Poison frontman is entertained by two lovely strippers . . . er, women, who disrobe as they read the constitution of the United States. Then they dance with hula-hoops. And they say that the country suffers from a lack of civic pride. While that might be the case, we’re sure as hell not hurting for rock-star moments.

Rock of Love: Rockstar Moments

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In today’s installment, Rock of Love’s Bret Michaels takes a few of his ladies out for a romantic, low-lit dinner. Actually, dinner’s totally in the dark. Hidden by the darkness, Bret takes the time to sample a few of the delicacies that aren’t on the menu. Is that very rock star of him? Depends on how you like your rock stars — slathered in saliva or sitting down politely with good table manners.