- Eye liner? Check.
- Hair straightener? Check.
- White Doc Martens? Check.
- Black skinny tux with skinny tie? Check.
- Loony divorced big sister/maid of honor/drunkest person at the reception? CHECK!
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are getting married this weekend, and no one cares! The pair are going to great lengths to keep the affair “top secret,” but they could get married in my apartment and I wouldn’t freak out and go. Their lovey-dovey emo shtick is getting very, very old, so we wish them the best in their marriage, which will hopefully be way more successful than Ashlee’s music career. [Us]
Can’t Beyonce and Jay-Z just enjoy being married for a while? Not everyone has to go and pull an Ashlee Simpson and get preggers and married all at once. B’s belly is the topic of much speculation (even though as you can see in the pic above from last week, there’s nothing there), as some pals are secretly coming forward to reveal that she’s currently knocked up. One loose-lipped friend says, “She has gained a lot of pregnancy weight. When she gains weight, she normally does the Def Jam detox, but not now.”
Wait a second. Forget the pregnancy – what the f*ck is the “Def Jam detox?!” Google is revealing nothing – does it involve listening to old Beastie Boys and LL Cool J tracks while eating salad? Rick Rubin, fill us in! Beyonce’s rep was having none of the baby buzz, and said, “I don’t know if she’s pregnant. Let me perform an ultrasound and get back to you.”
If you missed this week’s special episode of Flavor of Love 3, have no fear: you know VH1 is going to play it and play it and play it this week till you can recite it in your sleep. But just in case you miss it entirely, below are our Top 10 favorite things we learned in the episode (which was brimming with previously unseen footage), starting with…
OK, we admit, we already knew that crack is wack (a certain someone’s rap sheet alone could have told us all we needed to know). This, then, is a case of something being funny because it’s a) true and b) written on a butt.
Spencer and Heidi fake a Mother’s Day photoshoot, and drag Heidi’s mama into the mix. [DListed]
Just looking at Sarah Jessica Parker‘s hat gives us a headache. [JustJared]
Donna Martin AND Kelly Taylor are heading back onto 90210! [Seriously? OMG!]
Jennifer Aniston likes her John Mayer shirtless and wet. Meow! Cougar alert! [IDLYITW]
Katie Holmes: pregnant again or just creepy? [ICYDK]
Ben Affleck admits his regret over doing that dumb “Jenny from the Block” video back in the day. We forgive, but we’ll never forget, Ben! [I'mNotObsessed]
A high school student was arrested solely for her prom dress. Fashion freedom should be in the first amendment! [Crunk + Disorderly]
Kim Kardashian is having a horrible effect on her family, especially her littlest sisters. The neon pink is unbearable, but the tiny bra-sweater on little Kylie Jenner at the Wango Tango concert this weekend? Our hearts are breaking for the 11-year old. We never thought we’d say this, but Khloe, the sassy sister situated far right, is the classiest sibling in this pic. Which ya know, isn’t saying much.
More Kardashian craziness below!
In honor of the new VH1 documentary Sex: The Revolution, which begins airing tonight at 10 PM, we’re counting down The Five Sexiest Hook-Ups in VH1 History from some of your fave VH1 shows. From foursomes to girl-on-girl photoshoots, we’ve got it all right here. Though compared to this clip from Sex: The Revolution featuring a porn star’s 86-man sex-fest, our shows pale in comparison on the raunchy scale. Shocking!
5. Mud Makes Flav Horny
Don’t tell Black, Sinceer and Thing 2, but Flav once got busy back in the day with his other final ladies on the first season of Flavor of Love. This sexy moment came to fruition after Pumkin, Hoopz and your man spent a date body painting with mud at a day spa. But the follow-up shower was where all the action went down, after the gals washed off the mud and went in for the kill! You can almost hear the words coming out of Flav’s mouth: “Yeahhhhhhh boooooooy!”
Below the jump: girl-on-girl action, a sexy stripper, a romp to remember, and our Number 1 pick!
The Pussycat Dolls are authorities on what’s hot, or so it would seem as they’ve been tapped to host the VH1 special Maxim Hot 100, premiering Tuesday, May 27 at 9/8c. The one-hour one-off will count down the ladies on this year’s Maxim Hot 100 list. Tila Tequila, Natasha Bedingfield, Kat Von D, Ashanti, Taryn Manning, Ashley Tisdale, Molly Sims and Danneel Harris are just a few of the names to have made the list — tune in to find whose hotness is where.
If you watch The Hills for just a few minutes, it becomes very clear that Audrina Patridge is a naturally gifted thespian. Her approach to her relationship with Justin Bobby reeks of vintage Meryl Streep, and her handling of the Lauren-Lo housing drama is Oscar-worthy for sure. Everything about her says “actress:” the blank stares, the constant mumbling, the whiny voice. She is the next big deal, and she’s now got the legitimate acting cred to prove it. Audrina has been cast in Into the Blue 2. OMFG! Don’t remember the masterpiece that was the original Into the Blue? Why, it starred Jessica Alba and some other hot people as a group of divers in trouble with a drug lord! Such a fine piece of film is surely going to make Audrina an A List star, and it’s about damn time – she’s been acting on the Hills for so long, she’s truly a natural. [Us]
Kim Kardashian‘s official website may just be the greatest spot on the web – ever. Unlike some of her “peers” who have PR flacks manage their internet homes, Kim seems to be entirely in charge of her domain. The site is saturated with pics of her posing in half naked, with Paris Hilton and of course flaunting her ass. Even better, she posts style tips on what bikini bottoms fit her butt best! But the best part is the blog she regularly updates with posts – like this recent one featuring her favorite screwy pics taken with her MacBook’s Photobooth program. Even though she ends up looking like LaToya Jackson in a lot of these pics, she’s still pretty hot. Lucky. [OfficialKimKardashian]
Hey look – Suge Knight is still around doing what he does best – getting into trouble. The former hip-hop mogul allegedly got his ass kicked outside a Los Angeles nightclub this weekend, after he charged at some duding screaming “I want my money!” Suge grabbed him in a headlock, but the guy slipped out and clocked the Death Row founder in the face. Apparently Knight was on the ground for three minutes before he could walk away from the scene and headed to the hospital with the LAPD. TMZ has pics of Suge covered in blood, taken right after sh*t went down. He later refused to press charges against the guy, but if I were the culprit I’d look out. Suge wants his money, and knowing him, he’ll get it. [NYDN]