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Attack of the Lohan

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It’s hard to believe it, but there might be someone who’s even more fame-obsessed than Lindsay Lohan: her mother. Dina Lohan, who’s under the assumption from friends that she’s the "white Oprah," is supposedly gunning for Rosie O’Donnell‘s soon-to-be vacant spot on the daytime estrofest The View. Regardless of that happens (and it won’t, for that would be, in a word, apocalyptic), Dina has landed a bonafide gig as an Entertainment Tonight red-carpet correspondent for the premiere of Lindsay’s Georgia Rule. There’s rumbling that ET only gave Dina the gig so that the news show could get an exclusive interview with Lindsay. So Dina’s whoring her daughter for fame and/or whoring herself for her daughter’s fame. That’s a big cycle of whore right there.

In March, Dina told Harper’s Bazaar that she’s "living the American dream." Chasing fame while living off a "loved"-one’s fortune? Sadly enough, that seems dead-on. [New York Post/Image credit: Getty]

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Idol: Jive Talkin’ For All Except Jordin

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On last night’s American Idol, each of the Top 4 contestants sang tunes penned by Barry Gibb. Based on the judges’ hard-ass feedback (Simon was using both barrels last night), they’re sort of over Melinda Doolittle and her solid but boring performances, and instead anointed Jordin Sparks as the new teacher’s pet. So did Gibb himself. Standing around the piano, evaluating Jordin’s spin through "To Love Somebody," the Bee Gees boss said that he’d never "heard a greater rendition" of the tune. Sparks was flying.

There are three women and one man left in the competition, but the mentor said that it shouldn’t be a problem for the girls to sing songs originally performed by the brothers Gibb. "I’ve always sung like a lady to begin with, so it’s OK," he joked.

Read more…

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Finally: Chinese Democracy

Gnr0868 Looks like if Chinese Democracy won’t come to the people, then the people will come to Chinese Democracy. The long-delayed, much-anticipated, disaster-fraught Guns N’ Roses album — the subject of speculation by everyone from magazines to psychics — has leaked, at least in part. Though these tracks have been available on file-sharing sites for awhile now, they’ve never been kicking around in such clean versions. This makes us suspect that an official release is . . . maybe . . . on its way. Haters can hate as much as they want, but these songs actually sort of rock: “There Was a Time” and “The Blues” are epic dirges in the vein of “November Rain,” while “I.R.S.” and “Chinese Democracy” are harder numbers, the former more blues-y, the latter more White Zombie-y. Zombies are very much in fashion right now, so looks like Axl’s right on the money.

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Tour Survival Guide: Aqualung

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Our Tour Survival Guide checks in with rockers about life on the road. Here’s our You Oughta Know artist Aqualung (aka Matt Hales) on school bullies, audience love, and solar-powered calculators.

Ben’s In Charge
It would be nice to think that I was a totally self-sufficient creature who could stalk through this world, bending everyone’s will to my own without anyone’s help. But it seems everything goes better when my brother Ben is there. He’s got a special pair of gloves for helping the load-in, and I haven’t got any of those. He’s also quite good at knowing what time it is.

Calculated Dirty Talk
A few years ago, we were in a dark backstage area at a club gig, and nothing on our rider had arrived, but there was a solar-powered calculator backstage. Which obviously didn’t work, because it was dark. It struck us as the ultimate luxury. So we thought we’d have that on [our rider] from then on. I just like to do that thing where you type in certain numbers, turn it upside down and it says "boobs."

Read more…

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Hottie Of The Week: Carla Gugino

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Things don’t always work out when you hook-up with someone you’re in business with. Vinnie Chase was reminded of this last Sunday on Entourage. Having pushed Ari to the side, the guys threw in with new agent Amanda, and it was only few episodes before she and their alpha dog were getting nasty in a bubble bath. Carla Gugino plays the savvy and smokin’ Amanda. For all that she brings to the role (which might be over – let’s see what happens next Sunday), we’re deeming her our Hottie Of The Week. Check the Gugino flipbook below…

Who else is looking good these days? Got a nomination for next week’s Hottie?

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Photo_20x9_1 Photos: Carla Gugino

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When MySpace Attacks

71015471 Former Eurythmics front-lady Annie Lennox is learning about Web 2.0 the hard way — from her daughter. In a scene reminiscent of the teenage wasteland dreamt up by Kelly LeBrock in Weird Science, Lennox’s former London home was basically leveled when her 16-year-old daughter threw a party and news of the event was spread over MySpace. What was supposed to be an intimate gathering of 30 turned into a rager for 200. Description of the damage includes the following: graffiti on the walls, cigarette burns everywhere, vomit on the stairs, urine on the carpets, torn-up floor boards, a flooded kitchen and many destroyed appliances. The total cost of the nightmare is estimated at somewhere in range of $60,000. Think this one will make the kids think twice about throwing a party when their parents are out of town?

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Dumb-Ass Rock Lyrics, Part 23

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Most of the time it’s the power of the music that gets you, not the eloquence of the words. Rock was made to be enjoyed as a total experience. But lyrics can’t be ultra shit, you know – there is a line somewhere. Like: "Slowly walking down the hall/Faster than a cannonball." If you’ll recall, that comes from the Gallagher brothers – a little thing called "Champagne Supernova." It, along with songs by U2 and Human League, made the BBC’s "Top 10 Worst Lyrics" list today. Duran Duran zealots should check to see why their boys are being dissed so bad.

What song has the dumbest lyrics you’ve come across?

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Rock Honors: Genesis In The Garage

Our ramp-up to Rock Honors (May 24) always includes revealing chats with the music’s stars. Clips for "With Honors" usually find the artists revealing career secrets.

Genesis is a superstar band, right? For decades they’ve made records, and for decades fans around the have snapped ‘em up as soon as possible. Well, according to the guys, that wasn’t always the case. If anyone’s looking for rare copies of their first disc, check over near the tool rack in the garage.

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Rock Honors 2007 Homepage

News_20x9 More Rock Honors coverage at TalkingMetal.com

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Charm School – Extra Credit (Yellow Kool-Aid Edition)

It’s all fun and games until someone has to pee — or at least, that’s what the first of this week’s Charm School extras suggest. See a very tipsy Brooke freak out on the bus when she discovers that she has to use the ladies’ room. Since the bus is short and doesn’t have a bathroom, Brooke’s forced to take matters into her own hands…well, actually, her matter goes into a bottle. By the way she fills it up, you can tell that she has some amazing aim. Anyone have any toilet paper?

The second is a bit heavier — it’s an extended cut of the Larissa-Mo’Nique blow-up that went down after the debate. It’s worth a watch, as it sheds more light on both parties’ sides. Larissa is considered by many to be the villain of the show, but watching her share her frustration might change a few minds.

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Wear Your Grammy

Jossstone_2Grammy fanatics, rejoice! At a press conference earlier today, Motown Svengali Quincy Jones and barefoot soul-slinger Joss Stone were on hand to help announce some news: Grammy Brand clothing. Sure, they discussed some other items commemorating the awards spectacular’s 50th anniversary — like a coffee table book, a new 30,000-square-foot Grammy Museum in L.A., and Aretha Franklin’s philanthropic and musical endeavors — but we were taken with the part about the “high-end fashion collection” for men and women coming to boutiques this fall. Expect everything from $49 T-shirts to $9,000 black-diamond-studded sunglasses. A portion of the proceeds benefits MusiCares, a non-profit that helps support needy musicians. Would you wear Grammy?