Mimi’s Sham Marriage Already a Disaster

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Mimi better watch who she’s bossing around! Apparently pals (she has friends?!) close to the singing star are placing bets on how long her marriage to Nick Cannon will last, and they’re guessing “six months, tops.” The reason? Nick is stuck doting on his bride 24/7, and allegedly spends more time lugging her shopping bags around than he does cuddling with his older love. A source spills that,

“Mariah’s assistants and friends call him ‘Whipped Nick’ behind his back. They have little respect for him because he won’t stand up for himself.”

Well if he won’t, we will! Mariah, leave your man alone! Otherwise he’ll be leaving you – and fast. [MSNBC]

Say it Isn’t So! More Madonna Divorce Rumors

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Amid rumors that Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie’s marriage is on the rocks, UK newspaper The Times of London is reporting that Madge has taken a pivotal step on the road to splitsville, meeting with former Beatle Paul McCartney’s divorce attorney, Fiona Shakleton.

Shakleton, aka the “steel magnolia,” was famously doused by water by Heather Mills after securing all but $50 million of an almost $1 billion fortune for McCartney.

Madonna, whose fortune is estimated at $600 million, is believed to have been seeking counsel regarding divorcing her husband of 7 years, whom she married in a lavish ceremony at a castle in Scotland, reportedly with no pre-nup. They have two children, Rocco, 7, and David Banda, almost 3, whose adoption from Malawi was finalized earlier this year. Madonna also is mother to Lourdes, 11, from a previous relationship.

The Times is also reporting that Guy has sought counsel at a lesser known law firm, Forsters.

Brooke Knows Promo

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In the gallery below, check out some promo shots for Brooke Knows Best, which premieres July 13 at 10/9c on VH1. The press release promises that the show will follow her move to Miami “to enter a whole new world with no rules but her own.” How smart!

Her roommates, Ashley and Glenn also pop up in a few of the shots below.

Kim Kardashian’s Bond Girl FantASSy

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Watch out Reggie Bush, Kim Kardashian has another man on her mind: James Bond star Daniel Craig. In an interview with UK newspaper, The Sun, Kim reveals,

“I want to be a Bond Girl and film a love scene with Daniel Craig after he’s rescued me.”

In her own version of CASSino Royale, Plenty O’Tush fantasizes,

“I would be drowning, wearing a bikini with a gun in a sachet, and he would dive in and get me – that would be really sexy.”

The Keeping Up With the Kardashians star, who makes her big screen debut in Disaster Movie in December, reveals that her New Orleans Saints boyfriend would probably disapprove. “Reggie would absolutely hate it,” Booty Galore admits.
If Kim’s wish comes true, she would have a tough act to follow in a long line of famous Bond Girls. Check out our gallery of some of our favorites.

We Will Watch the Verne Troyer Sex Tape

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Come on, admit it – you’ll watch it too! Verne Troyer and his ex-girlfriend did it on film, and the tape has somehow leaked. It’s now possibly going to be bought by the same dude who handled the masterpiece One Night in Paris (Hilton). The cost? $100,000. Not bad – but it sucks our man Verne won’t be seeing any of that cash! Check out a very short clip of the film here – our favorite touch is the acting book on the floor behind the couple. Let’s hope they use it as a sex toy! [TMZ]

The Force is Not With Mary-Kate’s Outfit

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We love Mary-Kate Olsen, and by now we get her outfit choices. The weirdest, baggiest, most unflattering piece will always find its way onto her tiny frame, mixed with a braided hairdo and a freaked out facial expression. So it was no surprise to see her at The Wackness premiere in this giant white mess, some sort of couture cross between a sheet and a toga. Oddly enough, when belted, it ended up looking exactly like that crappy cloak Pricess Leia wears in the Star Wars flicks! All she needs is a light saber, giant buns and Harrison Ford on her arm, and she’d be the complete package.

M-K of course turned up at the film’s after party in an adorable little floral number. Why does she taunt us so?

[Getty]

Simmons Kids Snag a Sh*t Load of Russell’s Cash

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Our favorite almost-divorced couple is finally working out the kinks of their divorce settlement, and Kimora Lee Simmons is walking away with a phat wad of ex-hubby Russell‘s cash. Well, not Kimora exactly – their kids. Yep, each girl – Ming Lee, 8, and Aoki, 5 – will get $20,000 a month from their dad until they turn 18. That adds up to $480,000 a year for each kid – who already spend their lives living large in a $24 million mansion in New Jersey.

In case you forgot, the still amicable pair divorced after nine years of marriage. Kimora is now dating super-hot actor Djimon Hounsou, while Russ keeps busy doing yoga with model Porschla Coleman. [NYDN]

Thanks Daddy!

Britney’s Delivery Room Freak Out

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BritBrit had a major meltdown in sister Jamie-Lynn‘s delivery room last week, while her sis was trying to push out her daughter. J-L was determined to have a natural birth, but when doctors discovered that the baby’s umbilical cord was too short, they began pushing for a C-section. But Jamie-Lynn, being the stubborn Spears that she is, insisted on pushing that sucker out vaginally. Guess who didn’t like that idea! Britney of course, who screamed, “Just have a damn Caesarian,” before storming out the delivery room in tears. Yes, even as her sister gives birth, it’s all about her. [Star]

Brit continued her quest for a hot bod and hit up the gym on Tuesday, perhaps to blow off some steam. If she wants to lose weight, she should just cut off that monster on top of her head. That ponytail probably clocks in at 20 pounds!

[X17]

Ice-T Has a New Feud

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The First Family of Rap appeared on NBC’s Celebrity Family Feud last night — and didn’t disappoint. Ice-T, wife Coco, dressed matronly in a bright yellow minidress with a plunging neckline, son Ice, Ice’s mother-in-law, and a family friend played against Joan Rivers‘ clan. When Joan and Ice-T stepped up to the podium, they were asked to “name something that’s slippery and hard to hold on to.”

With a question like that, host Al Roker practically invited the Original Gangster to spew an obscenity. His response, of course, was bleeped. Coco described it as an “Ice-T answer.” (Does that mean he told Roker to eat a dick?) Joan’s answer, “ice cube,” was on the board, and Team Rivers was victorious in the end. She shrugged, as if to tell Team Ice-T, “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.”

Update: Shaq’s Kobe Rap May Cost Him His Badge

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Maybe Shaq was just freestyling, but it may cost him his special deputy’s badge with the police department in Maricopa County.

“I want his two badges back,” Maricopa County Sherriff Joe Arpaio told The Associated Press on Tuesday. “Because if any one of my deputies did something like this, they’re fired. I don’t condone this type of racial conduct.”

Shaq belittled Kobe Bryant in a two minute video, while performing a rapblaming his former Laker teammate for the demise of his marriage.

Shaq has volunteered with the Tempe Police Department after being traded to the Phoenix Suns in February and previously served as a reserve officer with the Miami Beach Police Department while playing for the Miami Heat.