A Prayer For Britney Spears

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britney-spears-1116.jpgToday we learned about the Hollywood Prayer Network, a group of people praying for celebrities and the entertainment industry. If you are a “Christian professional in Hollywood” you can request prayers from the group as well. We can think of one person in La La Land who might need a little love from above. Maybe God – or at least the Hollywood Prayer Network – will hear our plea.

Dear Person in the Sky Up Above,
Today Britney Spears was told by the judge in her custody case that she can not drive with her kids in her car anymore. So I pray she stops wearing sunglasses while she drives and that she puts an end to all her red-light running. Also if you could bless the feet of the photographers that she has run over, that would be swell. I’d also like to pray that Britney’s car becomes an airplane so she can fly all over Los Angeles to the various Starbucks and tanning salons she must frequent every day. Even better – please put a Starbucks and a tanning salon on a cloud so then she can fly her car-plane to them without running into the paparazzi. This will prevent all accidents from happening. If anyone can do it, it’s you God. I hope this isn’t too much to ask for, but a car that can fly is probably peanuts compare to like hurricanes and stuff. Also, can you fix my TiVo? Thanks. Laters! [Yahoo. Getty]

Lindsay Lohan’s 84-Minute Jail Stint

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Wow what a difference 5 months, a new hair color, and thousands of dollars worth of rehab can make! Lindsay Lohan snuck into jail yesterday to complete her required 1 day sentence. She got there at 10:30 AM and was out by 11:54 AM, making her stint in jail a whole lot shorter than Paris’! The sheriff’s spokesman said, “She was nice and cooperative. Everything was fine.” Fine like – her lips look bigger, her hair is a more strawberryish blonde, her eye makeup is poppin’, and she was totally rockin’ her new hot ‘I love scarves’ look. She just looks way more down with being behind bars, doesn’t she? Everything is definitely fine with LiLo. [Booking Photos]

Vanessa Minnillo Headed to Playboy?

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vanessa_minnillo.jpgVanessa Minillo reportedly is being courted by Playboy to share her assets in a nude pictorial. An editor at Playboy has been quoted as having said: “Vanessa is absolutely right for Playboy. She’s very sexy and more sophisticated than a lot of women her age.” Supposedly, In Touch is the supposed source of the story (per this blog, where the news seemed to surface online) however, there’s no real proof that the story has any validity. Not that there needs to be: of course Playboy would court Minnillo. First of all, they court anything with a vagina and a semi-symmetrical face. Second of all, those shots of Vanessa and bf Nick Lachey doing the nasty that leaked this year proved that she can perform on camera. Third of all, what else does she have to do besides posing for Playboy? It’s practically manifest destiny at this point.

Kim Kardashian Thinks Her Bod is “Normal”

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kimk-1116.jpgWe were wrong! Kim Kardashian didn’t do Playboy for the money, or to garner more attention, or jump-start her career as a full fledged celebutard. She did it to help us women feel better about our bodies! Kim said recently about her spread in the nudie rag, “I did it because I’m not one of those stick-skinny girls you see. I felt like girls today need to see a normal body.”

Um, okay. Two things.

1. To see a normal body, dear society-changing Kim, all we “girls” need to do is look in the mirror.

2. Dash’s body is probably the least normal thing the planet earth has ever seen. If Kim had told us that she had her teeny tiny waist, giant boobs and massive butt molded out of clay on a spaceship and was then sent to this earth to taunt us with her voluptuous bumps, we’d believe her. NORMAL? Her body is like My Humps on acid. Maybe she needs to take a look in the mirror, too. Kim also said that her mom was the force behind her naked romp. “My mom actually pushed me to do it!” She said. “I think she’s living vicariously through me a little bit.”

We can guess what part of Kim’s body her mom is living in! Below we’ve compiled every Kim Kardashian pic that we’ve ever put in the VH1 Blog to help you decide whether her bootylicious body is normal or not. [NYDN. Images: Getty]

Amy Winehouse: Beehive Full of Drugs?

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Not to quote Fox News or anything, but this is one of those ‘we report, you decide’ kind of moments. What we’re reporting is this here video above, of the world’s greatest train wreck (sorry Britney), Amy Winehouse, performing in concert in Zurich on October 25th. She appears to be fiddling around with her beehive for a while when she’s supposed to be singing the Toots and the Maytals song “Monkey Man.” It then looks like she hides something in her sleeve, lifts her hand to her nose and does something that looks a lot like snorting. Give it a watch and let us know what you think – is she storing coke up in that massive beehive, or just some tissues for a stuffy nose? Given the fact that her tour manager just quit because he was supposedly getting a contact high (that showed up in his bloodstream) from all the heroin smoked on Winehouse’s tour bus, we are quick to assume the former.

Smartest Model Forecast: Harper’s Bazaar Weighs In

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You’ve watched America’s Most Smartest Model and developed opinions. Now we want to hear them: Who do you think should be the next contestant to be kicked off the show?

Still alive

To help start the conversation, we’ve asked some of our friends in fashion what they think. Today’s guest-blogger is Sarah Cristobal, senior web editor of style bible Harper’s Bazaar. She explains who she thinks should win — and why.

“Rachel was a laugh riot on the last episode and I’m sorry to see her go! Who else is going to unintentionally deliver those one-liners? She could be the next Henny Youngman as far as I’m concerned — and a bubbly blond one at that. ‘I know shapes, not measurements’ is pure comedic genius. While insulting Rachael about her dress for the fashion show challenge erred on the mean side, (I believe the comment went something along the lines of ‘she looked like a mermaid wrapped in a kitchen floor’), you have to admit that it was a rather creative assessment of her ensemble. (Full disclaimer: the fashion industry does not condone catty behavior.) As for the rest of the crew, I am rooting for Angela — she’s got the look and has a quiet underdog sensibility — but it seems like Pickel and Brett are unstoppable! Ack! Of course, here at Bazaar, we’re most proudest of our dear friend and contributing fashion editor Mary Alice Stephenson, who, along with the indomitable Ben Stein, clearly has some tough decisions to make. Go, brainiacs, go!”

Rachel was eliminated last episode. Did you forsee her fall?

Fallen but not forgotten

This Sunday, what do you think is going to happen?

30 Rock: Last Night’s Best Lines

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Unaware of each other’s politics. Republican Jack has a steamy one-nighter with Congresswoman CC (Edie Falco). Liz shows her racist side by suspecting that her new Middle-Eastern neighbor has got a terrorist plot up his sleeve. Kenneth loses Jack‘s $2500 tuxedo pants at the dry cleaners, and has to do asinine stunts to make quick cash to replace them. Tracy gives Jack some love advice.

Liz: Didn’t you get your hair cut just two days ago?

Jack: I get my hair cut every two days, after all you hair is your head suit. I’m going to a party tonight that’s honoring Robert Novack, thrown by John McCain and Jack Bauer.

Liz: Uh…I don’t think he’s real.

Jack: I assure you Lemon, John McCain is very real. I have to look perfect. When it comes to hair, no one is more bitchy than conservative males. They can be brutal.

Liz: Well, have fun. Don’t get peer-pressured into invading Iran.

********************************************************************

Read more…

Friday’s Reviews Rage: Love in the Time of Cholera

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lovecholera_l.jpgEvery week we round up selections from the funniest and most brutal film criticism out there so that you don’t waste your cash at the theaters and laugh a little at Hollywood’s expense. This week: Love in the Time of Cholera, the film adaptation of Gabriel García Márquez’s renowned novel, is ham-fisted, absurd, and more than a little silly. It’s a lot silly.

“Those who have read Gabriel García Márquez’s glowing and sexy 1988 novel about one man’s grand love for a woman who marries another are bound to be peevishly disappointed by Love in the Time of Cholera. And those who haven’t read the book will now never understand the ardor of those who have — at least not based on all the hammy traipsing and coupling and scene-hopping thrown together here.” — Entertainment Weekly

“From the hoot-worthy dialogue (‘I don’t need a medical lesson.’ ‘No, this is going to be a lesson in love’) to the atrocious makeup, to the dead rats taped to the side of Hector Elizondo’s head, the entire thing’s a wreck. Unless it was trolling for sneering chuckles, in which case — success!” — The Village Voice

Read more…

About Last Night: Ultra Fresh Party Pics

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Movie premieres, awards shows, benefit concerts, and plain old clubbin’ – even though most of us are at home, the beautiful peeps are living it up somewhere. About Last Night puts you in touch with all the action.

There was certainly not a shortage of babes at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Adriana Lima, Heidi Klum, Seal, Will.I.Am, Posh, the Hills girls, and Hayden Panettiere swam in the sea of models at this event.

photo_20×97.gif Click for more Spice Girls and Angel Wings

I Love New York Forecast: Who Should Be the Next to Go?

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This week New York invites the final six guys’ ex-girlfriends to the I Love New York 2 house, plus two of her exes, Chance and Real, to dig up dirt on the guys. Sneak peek this Monday’s episode now, tell us which guys are safe, and who will be dismissed. Comment now!

Still Pimpin’

Wolf got the boot last episode. Did you forsee his fall?

Fallen but not forgotten

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