Paula: She’s Got That Simon Cackle Down

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We all know that Ms. Abdul doesn’t need much help being thrown off her game. But what is it that Simon‘s whispering in her ear during all those episodes of American Idol? He can’t be coming up with stuff like “the moth that finds a melon ball in a wonton will win” every night. Last night she told David Letterman how Cowell tries to mess with her head. See what she has to say about “Dude Dawg Dude” (Randy), and check her spin on Simon’s sneering laugh.

What Can Brit Buy With Her Allowance?

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britney-spears-shopping.jpgBritney Spears has finally been given a little bit of freedom by the judge monitoring her court case. The singer is now allowed a $1500 per week debit card, given to her every seven days by her pops Jamie. Brit’s worth around $100 million, so she’s gonna have to curb her spending habits if she wants to stay on budget. As for her upcoming guest role on the ABC show How I Met Your Mother? Brit’s playing a receptionist at a dermatologist’s office, and will have to bank the bucks she’s raking in from the gig. Maybe she can save for a new weave?

We took a look at Brit’s shopping habits and have broken down what she can buy with her meager allowance. It’s gonna be tricky!

- 2542 bags of delicious, nutritious Cheetos

- 307 Venti Frappuccinos from Starbucks

- 125 pairs of fishnet stockings

- 116 cartons of Marlboro Light cigarettes

- 100 copies of pal Paris Hilton‘s CD – on sale!

- 75 pink wigs

- 1/2 of a Yves Saint Laurent Downtown Hair-Calf Tote

- .031 of a 2008 Mercedes GL550 SUV

Listen to Snoop’s Ego Trippin’!

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snoop-dogg-85x.jpgAll sorts of reviews are coming in for the new Doggy disc, but if you want to figure out if you like the way Snoop’s investigating old school R&B on his album, you can hear if for yourself (no, don’t worry, he hasn’t given up the gangsta scene completely – check how he’s getting paid in “Staxxx In My Jeans”). Rhapsody gives you the chance to stream the CD for the null set. Yep, free – no cost.

Don’t forget to check the “Life Of the Party” video.

Kim Likes J. Lo As More Than A Friend

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kim-kardashian-85x.jpgOur beloved Kim Kardashian appeared on TRL yesterday to plug the brand-new season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Back in November, we found out we’re not the only Kardashi-fans: Kim was grilled on Britney Spears‘ girl crush on her. Yesterday, when Kim was on TRL, we found out that Kim’s got a girl crush of her own, and it’s on a certain diva from the block.

Check out more pics from Kim’s TRL stint below, or peep this clip of the season premiere of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. The sisters go after Kourt’s boyfriend, and it ain’t pretty!

Brooke Hogan Lashes Out at Hulk’s Gal Pal

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brookehogan.jpgIt’s obvious just from her flashy outfit choices that Brooke Hogan is bold. So it was no surprise to see this alleged message from the singer, directed toward her former BFF Christiane Plante. Her beef? Well, Christiane’s confessed to bedding Brooke’s pop, Hulk, and even emailed Perez Hilton, admitting the affair in an attempt to clear her name. Get ready for the claws to be unleashed! Brooke wrote on her Myspace page, “looks like miss christiane wrote into perez. I think she shoulda thought about what kinda press she was gonna get when she slept with her best friends famous father. Maybe she did. The truth always comes out, and I think we’re ALL seeing just exactly how karma works Christiane. Nothing you say will ever put my family back together. So why don’t you keep your opinion to yourself.”

Yes! We love the sass, Brooke. Let’s hope she keeps it up on her new VH1 show, Brooke Hogan Knows Best, which will follow her and her roommates as they take on the mean streets of Miami. We have a feeling she’ll be running the town in no time. [NYP]

Olsens Hook Up with Will Arnett?

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MTV’s sketch comedy series Human Giant is so funny it will make your face slide off your head. No, they haven’t paid us to write that. The show returns tonight at 11 p.m. (EST). In the interim — the interminable, gray, existential interim — we’ve decided to whet your appetites with the above sex tape clip (NSFW). In the sketch, Aziz Ansari and Paul Scheer wear Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen masks to get into an exclusive club. Once inside, Will Arnett mistakes them for ladies and hits on them, hard. Then he sleeps with them in the most disgusting ways possible. This is white-lightning comedy, folks. If you can’t handle the funny, best not click above.

Rock & Roll Hall of Fame: Six High Points

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The 23rd Annual Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction ceremony took place in New York last night. Here are some of the evening’s best moments. Check out videos from the Inductees.

1. Justin Timberlake Brings Sexy Back.

Mr. Love Sounds made the word “induct” seem like the nastiet verb of the evening. He inducted Madonna with all the cheek you’d expect from a global pop star, telling tales about Madge helping him with a flu bug by ordering that he drop his pants and take a B-12 shot in the ass as the pair collaborated on M’s upcoming Hard Candy. He also shot an arrow or two at his ex. “The world is full of Madonna wannabes. I might have even dated a couple.”

2. Madonna Cops to Her Inner Punk & Dancefloor Druggin’

During a heartfelt acceptance speech, the singer explained her early days, learning to play drums to Elvis Costello records in the basement of an abandoned Queens synagogue and dropping a tab of ecstasy the night she jammed her demo tape into the hands of a Sire records A&R man. She also acknowledged her first big media explosion, “rolling around on the floor of the MTV awards with my ass hanging out.” During the wham-bam performance of “Burning Up” and “Ray of Light” by the Stooges, she was seen rocking along in the front row of the audience.

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Tuesday: Lindsay’s Sketchy Pals Latch On

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lindsaylohan.jpgGeorge Clooney’s Still Single
Don’t worry grandmas, the hunky actor isn’t engaged to his cocktail waitress girlfriend – yet. [Us]

Lindsay Lohan Hangs with Users
Insiders are worried that LiLo’s surrounding herself with a bunch of doped up hanger-ons. Like her mom? [PageSix]

Jessica Simpson: Sleeping in Barracks in Iraq
Jess wants the world to know that she’s roughing it in Iraq and is living just like the soldiers she’s visiting. Now pass her Louis Vuitton canteen! [People]

Madonna’s Drug Confessions
In her acceptance speech at the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame, Madge dished the deets on some of the best druggie moments in her career. We hope Lola was listening. [Us]

K-Fed Ordered to Stop Mooching
Brit’s lawyers are trying to get the Fedster to pay for his $500,000 worth of lawyer fees, which Brit is currently covering. All good things must come to an end, Kev! [MSNBC]

DVD Debut: The Haircut That Launched 1,000 Awards

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New DVDs are released every Tuesday, which leads us to the eternal question: What should you buy? C. Bottomley weighs in on every week’s must-haves and please-forgets.

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No Country for Old Men
Josh Brolin makes the mistake of walking off with a bag of drug money. Javier Bardem, a force of evil with a cattle gun and a haircut last seen in Little Lord Fauntleroy, follows. Los Bros. Coen retain every twist and metaphysical “huh?” of Cormac McCarthy‘s Texas noir, right down to the mysterious finale. Both Brolin and the Oscar-winning Bardem are magnificent. The pageboy bob is even better.
Extras: No commentary, but a 30-minute making-of doc should keep the casual fan happy. The “Working with the Coens” featurette, though, is the usual cast ‘n’ crew circle jerk.
Rating: Buy!

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