There, there, Jeff Archuleta. Feeling upset about your son David coming in second on American Idol? You’re not alone. Tons of celebrity stage parents feel shame when their child fails to live up to the exceedingly high expectations they’ve set for them! You’re in good company. The VH1 Blog has rounded up six of our favorite celebrity stage parents, who prove time and time again that even if you can’t make it in showbiz, you sure as hell can force your kids to live your childhood dreams! Success never tasted so sweet.
1. Dina Lohan - Why not ruin one daughter when you can ruin two?! This week Lindsay‘s running around France forgetting what she learned in rehab, while Dina focuses on destroying Ali‘s youth with her new reality TV show. Both are clearly idiotic career movies for the girls. But you know what they say, mother knows best!
(The VH1 Blog knows very little about the law. So we’ve solicited Ross Lampe and Mark Muro, founders of the California law firm Muro & Lampe, Inc., to keep a running tab on which side has the advantage in the R. Kelly child pornography trial. Check back for updates.)
Yesterday, R. Kelly’s attorney Sam Adam Jr. suggested that the sex tape is fake by asking a key witness for the prosecution (Simha Jamison) whether she’d seen the Wayans Brothers‘ movie Little Man. “They took the head of Marlon Wayans and put it on a midget, and it looked real,” said Adam. “Didn’t it?”
Well, human bodies can also be manipulated. Has the prosecutor considered the possibility that R. Kelly’s current mole is a cosmetic surgery prop? (Note the photoshoped mole on R. Kelly’s forehead above.) If I were the prosecutor, I would want to examine the mole immediately. If the Michael Jackson prosecution team was allowed to examine his penis for evidence of distinctive marks after being accused by a boy of sexual impropriety, then surely a back exam to determine the legitimacy of a mole is fair game. With tax-payer money no object, the prosecution may want to consider hiring a top notch cosmetic surgery expert to examine the mole. Such an examination is risky, though. If the mole is found to be legit, then the prosecution’s case could be doomed (insert your own catchy rhyme here).
The prosecution should at least hire a team of investigators to scour archive photos and video of Mr. Kelly, sans shirt, to look for the present blemish. If anyone has a photo showing R. Kelly’s bare back, with or without moles, taken prior to 1998 (the earliest the tape is believed to have been made), e-mail it here. Court is not in session today. The score remains +1 for the defense and +2 for the prosecution. — Ross Lampe, Attorney.
Since it’s the unofficial start of summer, Memorial Day Weekend, when Ashanti stopped by the VH1 office, we knew we had to grill her on one topic in particular: her body. Ashanti’s weight has been the topic of much controversy in recent months, and in the video above, she sets the record straight on her eating habits, her fitness, the Page Six story that suggested she gained so much weight last year, she didn’t want to be photographed, the Master Cleanse and her body image. It’s actually a little amazing how open she is, considering how delicate the issue of weight can be to people. Ashanti’s looking svelte and better than ever, so pay attention: you might learn a few things.
Is Lindsay Lohan finally making her alleged relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson public? The pair – who go everywhere together (except rehab) – are currently in Cannes together promoting, uh, nothing, and they were spotted looking very close and cuddly last night! Lindsay’s always been more than open about her sex life (remember her rehab boyfriend?), but she has yet to confirm the rumors that have been buzzing for a while that her and Sam are more than just good friends. These latest pics are pretty incriminating, if you assume that holding hands and nuzzling means they’re doing it. And damn, we hope it does! Hollywood is desperately in need of a new, fun couple to obsess about, and Pete and Ash and Paris and her twin aren’t cutting it. Bring on Lonson!
Check out many more pics here! [Egotastic]
Ah, our queen. Mary J. Blige stunned last night in Cannes at the Cinema Against Aids benefit gala. Work that thing out!
Below is a five-minute supertrailer for I Love Money, the upcoming VH1 show that pits cast members of Flavor of Love, Rock of Love and I Love New York against each other in the pursuit of a $250,000 grand prize. It’s full of hook-ups, alliances, smack-downs, ridiculous physical challenges and Mr. Boston’s bare ass. You can already see the lengths people will go to to get their hands on a quarter mil. Obviously, it’s gonna be a greedy summer.
More I Love Money videos here.
It’s reassuring to know that even celebrities have meltdowns, though we’re not really surprised when it’s coming from Naomi “Blackberry thrower” Campbell. The supermodel celebrated her 38th birthday in Cannes last night, and took the party onto Diddy‘s yacht (wouldn’t you?) But a few hours later she emerged from the boat crying and looking well, like some crazy drunk chick we often see weeping outside of a bar at 3AM. Stars ARE just like us!Diddy and Naomi have apparently had some beef before, even though they’re also close pals. The rap mogul allegedly screamed at her last year in the middle of Jermaine Dupri‘s Grammy after party. At least Naomi got to breakdown while dripping in diamonds as well as tears. Seriously, the sparkling on her wrists totally distracts from the water works in her eyes. We bet no one even noticed! [The Sun]
When hitting the beach, tanning bed, or mist-n-tan booth to get ready for summer, we’d like to warn our readers that less is more. Only the peel of produce should be permitted to reach the tint of tangerine seen above. If you’re not convinced that au natural is the way to go, take a look at the frequently over-tanned celebrities after the jump.
(The VH1 Blog knows very little about the law. So we’ve solicited Mark Muro, a founder of the California law firm Muro & Lampe, Inc., to keep a running tab on which side has the advantage in the R. Kelly child pornography trial. Check back daily for updates.)
Today, the prosecution continued its attempts to unravel the defense claims of mistaken identities. Yet another former friend and classmate of the alleged victim identified her as the girl in the sex tape. Aubrey Hampton, now 23, testified that she not only recognized the alleged victim’s face, but also her mannerisms, including “the way she licked her bottom lip.” She also fingered the man in the tape as R. Kelly and testified that she met him through the alleged victim.
But a strategy for undermining the prosecution’s witnesses is taking shape as the defense attempts to call into question the very authenticity of the tape itself. If successful, all testimony identifying Kelly and the alleged victim would become meaningless. Previews of this conspiracy theory surfaced during cross examination. The defense apparently contends that one of the alleged victim’s relatives is Stephanie “Sparkle” Edwards and that she released the tape (and possibly doctored it!) as part of a personal vendetta against Kelly over a music biz deal gone wrong.
We all know Usher tells it like it is; on 2004′s Confessions, he filled us in on what goes on between the sheets. His latest disc, Here I Stand, which you can listen to and read about, lifts the curtain on everything from what happens at the club to Usher’s newly domesticated life. Now the R&B phenom wants to answer one of your questions. Tell us something you want to know about Usher in our comments section. We’ll pick the best, and he’ll provide a video answer.
Watch his new video for “Moving Mountains,” too!