I Love the New Millennium: Remembering R. Kelly’s Pee

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The clip above is an extended outtake from VH1′s upcoming talking-head remembrance fest, I Love the New Millennium, which officially premieres Monday, June 23, at 9/8 ET (there’s a sneak premiere the day before at 11 a.m., ET). In it, perennial smart-ass Hal Sparks riffs on the alleged R. Kelly sex tape. It’s especially timely, considering last week’s not-guilty verdict, but then, so is the series, when you consider that it’s looking back on our current decade. It just goes to show that everything moves so fast these days — including nostalgia.

Diddy Loves Waxing Down There

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Cue the sexy music, ladies. Diddy loves manscaping, and he doesn’t mess around. “While I’m getting ready I like to relax with a drink – vodka and lemonade – and listen to some James Brown,” Diddy tells Metro UK. Damn that sounds kinda hot! What else does Diddy do to prepare for a big night on the town? “Then I’ll have a manicure and pedicure – and yes, I wax as well,” he says (hmmm, interesting). “Men owe it to women to make sure they are well-groomed. I wax my privates. I also wear my fragrance, Unforgivable Black.”

Wait, what did Puffy just say?

“I WAX MY PRIVATES.”

Yep, Sean John’s bare down there. Ladies – hot or not?

Bret: People Says He’s Hot

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Bret Michaels sits aside such illustrious company as Maroon 5 manwhore Adam Levine and the meathead formerly known as A.C. Slater, Mario Lopez, on People‘s Hottest Bachelors 2008 list. The brief bit on Bret contains a quote from him in which he credits his success with ladies to his trademark flowing and flaxen hair:

“It creates this Tarzanesque, likable bad-boy image. It says, ‘I am a wild child. I will take you on a Harley ride, then make passionate love to you. And should you be attacked by a lion or an idiot at a bar, I will protect you.’ To put it simply, long hair works for me. It rocks.”

Don’t call him Goldilocks — call him Goldirocks. [People]

Ice-T on Soulja Boy: He Killed Hip-Hop!

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Ice-T knows a lot of curse words, ya’ll. The veteran of the rap scene unleashed a verbal beat-down on Souljay Boy while chatting on DJ Cisco’s Urban Legend mixtape, blaming the young artist for ruining hip-hop with his Superman dancin’. His quote is below, and it’s totally NSFYourEyes. Ouch!

“F*ck Soulja Boy! Eat a dick! This n*gga single handedly killed Hip Hop. That sh*t is such garbage man. We came all the way from Rakim, we came all the way from Das EFX, we came all the way from motherf*ckers flowing like Big Daddy Kane and Ice Cube, and you come with that Superman sh*t? That sh*t is garbage. Hurricane (Chris) take them f*cking beads out of your hair n*gga! Man up. You n*ggas is making me feel real f*cking mad about this sh*t.”

Olsen Twin Caught on Camera Picking Wedgie

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Yes, they may be tiny and wear floppy hats, but other than that the Olsen Twins really are just like us! The girls got hooked up with backstage access at Bonnaroo for their 22nd birthday celebration, and an undercover spy with a video camera caught on of them digging out a nice deep wedgie from her tiny Olsen booty while dancing around aimlessly to Jack Johnson. Nothing says normal like just going for that lodged underwear stuck up your butt. Way to go Olsens, we now like (one of) you a whole lot more. [via ONTD]

Ask Mystery Anything

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Mystery, the star of the Pick Up Artist and guru to desperate nerds everywhere, is back for a second season of his hit show. To get things started, he’s going to be answering a slew of questions submitted straight from you. Wanna know the best way to bed a beauty who’s out of your league? Desperately searching for the sexiest velour cowboy hat but don’t know where to shop? Drop your questions for our man Mystery in the comments section below, and we’ll pick the best of the best to be featured in our weekly video installments of Mystery’s Mailbag on VH1.com.

Ask away – and if you’re missing Mystery, check out these highlights from the Pick Up Artist finale!

Money Clip: Whose Side Are You On?

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Above, check out a clip from the first episode of I Love Money, the VH1 all-stars competition that premieres July 6. In it, Heather, Destiney, 12 Pack and Heat form their alliance instantly, agreeing to live together in what Heat deems the “freakin’ hot, sexy orgy room.” But lo! The Entertainer lurks around the corner. He must have heard Heat say “freak.” Toe-sucking, anyone?

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Tila’s Down to Two: Bo or Kristy?

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Here are some of the highlights of Episode 9 of A Shot at Love 2 With Tila Tequila.

1. TILA’S FINAL THREE BLOW UP CONDOMS WITH THEIR BUTTS

Tila Tequila flew her remaining suitors to Cancun and invited them to compete in a Condom Blowup Challenge. Most people would have caught the next plane back to the U.S., but Tila’s flackies obliged by hooking up a condom to a pump and blowing it up with their asses. Tila didn’t judge on speed, but on who could “blow” the sexiest. kristy (pictured above) looked the most, um, professional. She straddled that pump as if it were a penis dildo and she were the star of a porn flick. Bo was all about “blowing” first, which does not bode well for his potential in the bedroom. And Brittany won by simulating an orgasm and perfectly timing her exclamation: “I’m about to blow!”

[Photos: MTV.com]

Read more…

Jamie-Lynn’s About to Pop

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Jamie-Lynn Spears is about to pop out a cousin for Sean and Jayden, and Britney is so excited she’s ditched Los Angeles to be by her sister’s side. J-L is due at the end of June, which means her tot could be born at anytime over the next month or so. That leaves a lot of time for some serious sister bonding. There’s nothing like a game of Skeletons in the Closet played over a super-size bag of Cheetos with your big sis!

The baby couldn’t come at a better time for Britney, as her dad is selling her Studio City home so the “singer” can escape to a new crazy house in the Valley, full of pools and flat screen TVs and enormous garages. Somewhere, in a grimy studio apartment, Sam Lutfi is reallllllllllly pissed he screwed his BFF-ship up.

Tila to Her Haters: “Suck My D*ck!”

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Tila Tequila‘s been busy running her mouth again while wearing practically no clothes. This time, our bisexual reality TV babe is busy bashing her haters and waxing nostalgic about her time in juvie. Our highlights are below; click HERE for more.

On people who say Tila’s just pretending to be bisexual for her reality show:
“They can suck my dick.”

On sexual fakers:
“If you’re faking bisexuality, then you’d be one of those Girls Gone Wild girls. I’m not one of those fake ones. I have real emotions for people, whether they’re male or female. So whoever said that shows me that they’re really ignorant, and it makes me cringe.”

On her pre-celebrity days spent chillin’ in a teenage correctional facility:
“When I was younger, I was foolish and would rob houses and stupid things like that, but I’ve paid my dues. They actually sent me away to a correctional facility for bad kids. They put us on those small, special school buses, the short ones. They put you on a point list: You start off in level one, and it’s like prison. You can’t eat the good food, you have to sit isolated, by yourself.”

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Tila’s Down to Two: Bo or Kristy?