Tara Reid: Not Anorexic, Just Badly Dressed

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tarareidjanuary08.jpgTara Reid, that sexy sack of plastic and peroxide, is all up in arms about accusations that she is anorexic. Speaking recently to OK! Magazine, she said: “I’m not too thin. I go up 10 pounds, I go down 10 pounds. I was thin for a movie that I just finished [the upcoming horror film Vipers]. Now they’re going to see me and say I’m too fat because I’ve gained 10 pounds… I can’t win!”

Er, we’re still going to say you’re too thin. But that’s not what we’re most concerned about here, amazingly enough. What traumatized us more than Tara’s gaunt look, is her recent choice of outfits. Her cheesy throwbacks to 2002 aren’t helping her look. Trucker hat? Tattoo-themed pieces? Belly jewels? We know her straight-to-DVD salary can’t afford her a stylist, but how about just a friend who tells her what NOT to wear. Or at least a mirror.

Check out the pics below to see what we’re talking about. [Images: Getty]

Tyra Banks is Suffering for Us!

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tyra-011008.jpgPretty much everything that comes out of Tyra’s mouth is comedic genius. She takes herself – and everything she does – so seriously, that it only accentuates the campiness of her endeavors. So it’s hard for us to feel any sympathy when she complains about the hollowness of her personal life. Tyra is the new cover girl of this month’s Essence, and she dramatically unleashes her woes to the mag in her interview. “I’d go to work [on 'The Tyra Banks Show'], and women would be crying in my arms,” she reveals. “But then I’d go home and put my key in my door and … nothing. No friends, no husband, no children. I feel so full when I’m at work but so empty when I come home.”

That’s funny, because when we come home we feel totally full after we leap into Tyra’s virtual arms and watch her show on our TiVo. We’d suggest that she spend less time worry about our vaginas and more time fretting over hers, but then we’d be lost without her. It’s a vicious cycle.

The Wire: Everyone’s Going to Baltimore

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Everyone’s talking about The Wire this week. The first episode of the final season premiered last Sunday, and the battles of Baltimore (corners, schools, newsrooms) are on lots of tongues. If you’re not down with the HBO gem, there are lots of ways to ramp up. Here’s a four-minute distillation of a four previous seasons. Here’s a way to hear the new CD compilation that corrals the music and dialogue. Here’s a list of Marlo Stanfield‘s favorite tunes. If you want to read what’s on creator/producer David Simon‘s mind, this should do.

Who’s your favorite character?

Britney Spears Flees to Mexico

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Well, we feel stupid. Last night we feel asleep giddy with the thought of running into Britney at our local Starbucks here in the Big Apple. Brit leaked the news that she was heading here to NYC, when she really hopped a flight – with paparazzi plaything Adnan Ghalib – to Mexico. Wow, punked by Britney! If only she applied those smarts to getting her life in order, she’d probably be doing okay. But you know – priorities! Apparently Brit was spotted buying fake Gucci bags and checked into a hotel, only to check out later that night, of course. Now, no one has any idea where the pair is. How about rehab?

Kim’s Ass Still Looking Fine in 2008

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Nice to know that the rump we loved in 2007 is the rump we’re going to love in 2008. The Kardashians show is off the air right now, but we plan to deliver as much KK buttosity as possible. In these ever-loving shots, Lady Kim is at some Slim Fast festival in LaLa Land. Maybe K sip the stuff, but we know that rear will always be round.

Kim Kardashian’s Ass

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American Idol Returns, But Former Contestants Can’t Catch a Break

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mcphee.jpgSeason 7 of American Idol premieres next Wednesday and Thursday on Fox, but evidence in the press suggests that contestants might not have as long a shelf-life as Kelly Clarkson’s career would have you believe. Case in point? Katharine McPhee has split from RCA records, joining her fellow castmates Taylor Hicks and Ruben Studdard in being without label representation. Wikipedia notes that there are rumors of her courting another major label (or vice-versa), but there’s no word on any of that yet. Still, she’s in markedly better shape than down-and-out former Idol contestant Jessica Sierra, who’s on VH1′s new show, premiering tonight, Celebrity Rehab. Couple all that with Sanjaya exhaustion, and we’re beginning to wonder: Has the Idol phenomenon lost its luster? Maybe it’s just us, but we’re kind of wishing pop music would go back to its much less democratic state, with nepotism and Berry Gordy in charge.

Avril Lavigne Pregnant?!?!

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According to reports, 23-year-old mall punk Avril Lavigne is pregnant. IsThisHappening.com is saying that Lavigne is six weeks along, making her debauched New Year‘s a no-no. The singer’s husband, Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley, has allegedly been telling friends about the baby, due in August. Obviously, it’s too soon to tell whether it’ll be a chain-walleted baby boy or a racoon-eyed little girl.

Last Night’s Pics: Katie Holmes & Tom Cruise

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Movie premieres, awards shows, benefit concerts, and plain old clubbin’ – even though most of us are at home, the beautiful peeps are living it up somewhere. Last Night’s Pics puts you in touch with all the action.

Katie Holmes looked gorgeous (though a bit on the boney side) at the premiere of her upcoming flick, Mad Money. Hubby Tom Cruise was by her side, as well as costars Queen Latifah and Diane Keaton.

Pam’s Knocked Up & Divorcing the Dad

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pam-anderson011008.jpgIs Pam Anderson preggers? For the sake of gossip, we effing home so. TMZ is claiming that Pammy, already a mother of two is knocked up by hubby Rick Salomon, from whom she recently filed for divorce. Rick is allegedly telling pals that Pam is “acting crazy” because she is pregnant (that sounds like something a dude would say) and is counting on her taking him back once her hormonal insanity calms down. Er, we have a feeling (call it a woman’s intuition) it’s Rick, and not the baby that’s making her act nuts. Pam took to her blog earlier today and simply posted “No,” which one can assume is her response to the rumors. But we refuse to believe it! We haven’t had a celebrity pregnancy announcement in 48 hours and we’re desperately jonesing for another one.

Thursday: Rumble in The Hills

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hills-011008.jpgKatie Holmes: More Marathoning in Boston
Mrs. Cruise was allowed into the Boston Marathon without actually qualifying because the people of Beantown want to see her run sans bra again. Oh, and she’s famous. [Us]

Jessica Simpson: NFL No Show

Her career, her boyfriend’s career – what can Jess ruin next? Fingers crossed that it’s Ashlee’s upcoming album! [Us]

Don’t Worry, The Hills Girls Are Still BFF
OMG, like, they are still totally giving each other blank stares at clubs and eating Pinkberry together! Phew. [E Online]

Milo and Hayden Make Love Work
Screw that 12-year age difference, these two are totally in love! And we’re like, totally grossed out. [Us]

John Mayer Dumps Actress Gal Pal
Finally he can go back to boning random, trashy chicks like a real “rock star.” [People]