Mimi Strips for Sexy Album Cover

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Who better to teach the kids about chart-topping than the chart-toppingest female artist of all time? That’s right — Mariah Carey is set to appear on “American Idol” the day after her E=MC2 drops on April 15.

If you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t caught Mariah’s SNL performance, her hilarious beauty-and-the-geek video for “Touch My Body,” or if you’re a little short on Mariah knowledge, we’ve got you covered — like Mariah on the front of her new record. Take the jump to find out Mimi’s tracklisting for her brand-new album, and read our review of what we got to hear.

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Tyler Perry: 5 Black Movies Ya Gotta See

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Tyler Perry is big old star at this point. As the straight-talking, cig-smoking, pistol-packing matriarch Madea he’s made millions on the gospel theatre circuit and successfully crossed over into movies with Diary of a Mad Black Woman. Last year he followed it with Why Did I Get Married? And this Friday he’s dropping Meet the Browns. Perry is a big film buff of course. A while ago we spoke with him about five key African American movies that everyone should have in their library. Here are his choices. (Check our recent list of great African American actors, too.)

The Wiz (1978)

The first movie I ever saw was The Wiz. Gosh, I couldn’t have been more than six or seven when this thing came out. I was living in New Orleans and saw it at the Gallo Theater. I remember dancing up and down the aisles, man. That was just amazing to me. I was bowled over by the colors in it, the sets, the actors … Michael Jackson was my favorite. I loved the song “Ease On Down the Road.” The Wiz inspired me to write musicals, like my first success I Know That I’ve Been Changed. It’s too bad that you don’t see many musicals now, but I’m still a fan.

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Wednesday: Britney Covers Up

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britney.jpgHeath’s Family Battles Over His Cash
Everyone wants the dead actor’s money, no one wants to compromise. Sounds like every other f*cked up family. [People]

Is Kirstie Alley the Next Oprah?
O has offered Kirstie a development deal to create new TV projects. Let’s hope they all involve her wearing a bikini. [People]

Shia LaBeouf’s Legal Mess
A warrant has been issued for the actor’s arrest after he was busted for smoking. How appropriately G-Rated. [Us]

Jamie Spears’ on Brit Panty Patrol
Brit’s dad alleging checks to make sure his troubled daughter is wearing underwear before she leaves the house. Now those are parenting skills. [DListed]

Simon Cowell Gives Toddler with Cancer $162,000
Believe it – Idol meanie Simon actually did something super nice! Even Paula would approve. [Us]

Gossip Break: Brit Begs for Sex

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- Brit looks good – and acts well, too – in this brief clip from her stint on How I Met Your Mother. Emmy time! [DListed]

- Halle Berry names her baby Nahla Ariela Aubry. Shiloh, meet your new BFF. [US]

- Gwyneth cuts her hair, keeps her b*tchy face. [People]

- Jennie Garth’s family loves Crocs, each other. Grossness squared! [Page Six]

- Christina leaves the baby at home for sushi, red lipstick. Mama’s still got it. [ONTD]

Kim Kardashian Wants Your Kiss

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What is Kim Kardashian trying to accomplish with this pose? Yes, we get that she’s going for the sexy kiss, but it just ends up looking like she’s about to eat something sour off her hand. Kim was busy hosting an event in LA and from the looks of it, her strict party schedule seems to be wearing her down a bit. See for yourself in the pics below, but she looks a bit off, even if her eye lashes appear to be inches longer. Kim also recently sat down with Us Weekly to discuss – what else – her butt. Peep the video here. The girl could run for president and all we’d care about is what she’s carrying in her trunk. It’s a good thing she never gets sick of talking about it.

Brooke Keeps Blabbin’ About Hulk’s Affair

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Sometimes we forget that Brooke Hogan is only like, 19 years old. She’s all tall and mature and she’s dresses just a wee bit older than her age, so sometimes we get confused. Our girl Brooke’s been through a lot this year – her bro’s car accident and legal troubles, her parents’ divorce, Hulk’s alleged romance with her BFF – and that’s got be rough for someone who is still technically a teen. But our heroine seems to be working through her ish on her MySpace blog, and her latest post proves that even at 19, one can approach life’s crap with a cool hand. Will she be this levelheaded on her new reality show? We’ll have to tune it to find out. In her latest blog post, she reveals that maybe the healing has begun.

well,

I realized your mother is your mother. Your father is your father. Nothing is thicker than blood. No matter how angry, sad or depressed you are, your family will always love you no matter what. We are all human. Yes, I’m still hurting very deeply inside, but I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m not saying I will get over this in a week, month, year or ten years. I dont know when It will be. But you must always respect your father and your mother.

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Flavor of Love World: Hot Diversion 7

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MySpace has nothing on FlavorofLoveWorld.com! The site allows fans to rant about cast members, predict who’ll be eliminated next — and, um, upload their hottest pics and vids. Maybe we’re showing off, but VH1 has the sexiest users on the Internet and we’re proving it by highlighting select Flavor of Love World users. Prepare to blush.

Click thumbs to see full-size images.

Visit each girls’ profile (from left to right): Ice, Bunz and Pecantanfemale.

The Return of Frenchie!

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One of the most memorable characters in the history of VH1, Rock of Love 2‘s oversexed French stripper Angelique (aka “Frenchie”) recently visited New York, and gave us the best gift an oversexed French stripper can give: a cooking lesson. OK, so maybe that’s not the best gift, but it’s, you know, Top 5. Since she’s clearly a mousse master (remember when she cooked it for Bret and smeared it all over herself?), we had her give us step-by-step instruction on how we, too, can make chocolate mousse for our tongues and boobies, alike. The result is above, edited and subtitled for your ESL-mocking pleasure. Bon appetit!

Keep up with Angelique at FamousVH1Friends and her MySpace page, where there’s photos like these:

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What Perez Sez About Reality TV Stars

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That’s right, the self-proclaimed Queen of All Media is back tonight with a brand-new show. In it, Perez Hilton meets a variety of television’s reality stars. He gets to hang with Hills honeys Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, asking them how they really feel about Lauren Conrad. He crashes New York Fashion Week to harangue Project Runway judge and Elle magazine editor Nina Garcia, America’s Next Top Model judge Miss J. Alexander, and Baby Phat’s Kimora Lee Simmons. He even tries his luck at love with Bret Michaels. Whether or not Bret is amenable, we can’t say. But the two seem to share a similar focus on their hair, so anything’s possible. The world’s best known blogger will address these concerns and many, many more. (Want to see Perez arm-wrestle Chyna? Now’s your chance!) What Perez Sez About Reality TV Stars is on tonight at 10 p.m. (EST). In the meantime, click here to see the famous folks he’ll be smack-talking with.