Dina Lohan Ruins Her Mini-Me Daughters

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We could not be more excited for what is sure to be the best trash on television, Living Lohan. Yes, it’s Dina Lohan‘s reality show about managing her daughter Ali while she watches as her eldest daughter Lindsay‘s career turns to crap. In other words: comedy gold! Check out this sneak peak of the ep; you’ll learn to love the sick way it makes you feel – promise!

Rihanna to Sell Skanky Skivvies

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RiRi is quite the entrepreneur! Our songbird/umbrella saleslady/Chris Brown‘s secret lover is looking to launch her own underwear line and rake in some cash. “There might be a clothing line on the horizon, maybe underwear,” Ri has said. This new venture should be super easy as Rihanna wears outfits that resemble underwear already! For inspiration, we suggest she check out some of the pics below.

Mariah Carey’s Going Wedding Crazy

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mimi-wedding.jpgUh oh - Nick Cannon has created a monster, a monster who is busy planning a massive second wedding to her new young lover! Yikes. A big-mouthed source blabbed some of the details of Mariah Carey‘s second big day, alleging that Naomi Campbell is on the wedding guest list (she’ll be throwing Blackberries instead of bouquets). The spy also said that, “She wants over 2,000 guests and the budget will be well over $4 million and she’ll have at least 14 bridesmaids.” Hot damn! That’s not a party, that’s a parade!

Wedding #2 is supposedly taking place here in NYC over the next six weeks, so we’ll be on watch. If you see a giant white blob floating toward you (perhaps riding on a giant butterfly?), look out! Mrs. Mimi’s getting married, and it should be a sight to behold. [MSNBC]

Heidi & Spencer Are Cheap A-Holes

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Waiters, waitresses, servers, bus boys, and bartenders BEWARE! Heidi and Spencer may wear fancy clothes, drive Beamers, and drop cash, but when no one’s looking they are cheap cheap cheap! The putrid pair and two friends ran up a $783 bill at an LA restaurant Saturday night, and then only tipped $16 on the check!

Just in case they were too busy being catty to pay attention in high school math, here’s how it works:To get 20% of $783.00: Move the decimal place one spot to the left ($78.30) and double it. The magic number: $156.60! Looks like Spencer was a little off, not that we expect him to be good at math – or anything, for that matter. The poor server had to then bug a Hills producer for some dough, who handed over an additional $60. Would you expect anything classier from these two? [TMZ]

Ash & Pete Say I Do, Confess Pregnancy

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Here comes the bride, blah blah blah blahhhh. Shocker of the century! Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are now husband and wife, and sealed the deal in a backyard ceremony at her parents’ house on Saturday. You think Ash might have learned from her big sister’s early mistake marriage to Nick Lachey (which ended in divorce) but instead she asked Jess to be her maid of honor. Ash wore Monique Lhuillier, Jess was decked in Vera Wang, and guest Nicole Richie showed up in a stunning a purple gown. Pretty! The guests were asked to wear dark colors to match the theme of the wedding, which was Alice in Wonderland. Ashlee also announced to her guests that she was four months pregnant, to which the 150 people replied, “No sh*t!”

The best part of the wedding weekend was not the nuptials, but that Papa Joe Simpson – who officiated the wedding – begged Tony Romo to attend the wedding as Jessica’s date, even though he allegedly dumped her last week. The good guy footballer escorted his ex, and served as a wonderful reminder that if Ash and Pete’s marriage ends in the D word, things can only get worse. The lesson of the day? Love stinks. But seriously, congrats guys! [US]

Exclusive! Usher’s Here I Stand Preview

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Last night, the VH1 blog got a sneak listen to the brand new Usher album, Here I Stand (which, starting Tuesday, you all will be able to listen to a full week before it’s release). With his first release in four years, following a baby, babymama and some serious drama, Usher bounces between the polls of undying fidelity and absolute tom-catting, but all of it is quality stuff. Though he’s been away for a minute, the singer let’s us know that he’s still very much a force in R&B. Here’s a track-by-track breakdown of our impressions.

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Delirious Amy Winehouse Mumbles to Mice

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Um, nothing says TGIF like this video of Amy Winehouse cooing weird words to a newborn mouse while wearing just her bra, natch. Pete Doherty even makes a crazy cameo in the end. You never know what’s gonna happen when you put two British drug addicts together in the same room. Magic could happen, but normally only sad weirdness ensues. Watch and feel uncomfortable.

Kim Kardashian’s Sexiest Vacation Ever

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You know, when I go on vacation with my siblings all we do is take pictures of our sunburns and bathing suit wedgies and wear ridiculous muumuu style t-shirts that we find for $5 from a local novelty shop. Turns out the Kardashian sisters do just the opposite when they drop by Miami for a weekend of R&R. Kimmy and Kourtney took some super hot pics of each other while on their last vacation – for more of Kim prancing around in an outdoor shower, click here and swoon.