All Day Long: The Shot Marathon

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It was a short but sweet season on The Shot, where 10 up-and-coming photographers were pitted against each other, competing for photographic excellence and the attention of Russell James, the show’s host and renowned lensman in his own right. There were absurd contests (shooting animals and children), messy ones (including a food fight) and celebrity guest stars (hiya, Joss Stone!). We’ve rounded up all our recaps here, so you can check to see what you missed. The marathon airs through 8 p.m. tonight. Enjoy, you aspiring artisans. Recaps: Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6 and Episode 7. Check the finale recap after the jump.

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Kev Loves Kids, Brit Loves Food & Pills

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kevin-federline-rules.jpgOh K-Fed. You and your snazzy mohawk and that sexy suit. And those dimples! Blush. Is it possible that we…might…LIKE YOU? Aside from the whole awesome and available father thing, Kevin actually understands our infatuation with him and Britney. He gets us! “I think the infatuation with the whole thing is that watching us go through things makes other people feel normal,” he says. So true, Kev! Your problems make our major dandruff issues pale in comparison. But what’s even more lovable is that Daddy Federline is so committed to his corral of kids, saying that he’s “usually watching SpongeBob SquarePants, Cars or whatever the kids are into. I’m much more G-rated than anything else these days!”

Meanwhile, Britney was too “scared” to even enter the courthouse yesterday and fight for her sons because of all the paparazzi (like she’s never seen them before), so she left, visited a church and then ate some empanadas. Later in the night she went to a Rite Aid with her user boyrazzi Adnan and picked up a prescription. Brit’s not doing much to help her rep as the worst mom in the world, but we do understand being scared – like right now our feelings of Federlove are totally freaking us out.

New York: Sex Tape Is “Absolutely Not Me”

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This weekend, rumors of a sex tape featuring New York began to circulate around the Internet. The accompanying video featured a woman whose resemblance to New York was literally unclear: the clip was, simply, too grainy to reveal if VH1′s High Priestess of Sexuality was one of the parties involved. It seemed suspect, and with reason: New York has spoken out to the New York Post to set the record straight: “It is absolutely not me,” she told the paper. “Do I strike you as the kind of woman who would have a sex tape floating around out there and not be standing by that tape? I’m nobody’s role model. I have a trash-talking potty mouth, I do what I want to do, that’s who I am as a person.”

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Is Tila Tequila Lying About Bobby?

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tila_tequila_1.jpgA Shot of Love is over, but new gossip hit airwaves yesterday. According to the investigative team at Extra TV, there are hurt feelings between Tila Tequila and the winner of her contest, Bobby Banhart. Speaking to Extra, the bisexual singer/host/frequently naked person said, “We couldn’t see each other for two months after (the finale) and we only talked on the phone. Just naturally, people kind of move on with their lives. We tried our best to keep in touch and keep it going, but after a while, all of this camera stuff, he just couldn’t handle it . . . . [He] called me a few days before New Years and broke it off.”

Not true, says Banhart. (Surprised? Us neither.) He told Extra, “As far as I’m concerned, if that’s what she needs to tell herself to make herself feel better, then that’s all her.” He continued, describing the end of the relationship as being rather absurdly bloodless, more a business transaction than succession of dates: “Basically the phone conversation ended with ‘good luck in all that you do.’”

This news follows MTV’s confirmation that A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila would go into a second season. If Tequila doesn’t find love this time around — or at the very least, someone she can spend some time with before signing on for season three — we’ll suspect that perhaps Tila Tequila isn’t really looking for love after all. Sigh. We’re always the last to know.

Tom Cruise is Totally Insane for Scientology

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Yesterday, Radar hit the jackpot with a video of Tom Cruise raving about what it mean to be a Scientologist that was shot by the Church for Scientologist eyes only. The clip was nine minutes long but we watched it numerous times – because not only was it bizarre and a little frightening, it was hard to understand what he was talking about. Those guys have a lot of lingo that us regular humans just don’t get. “KSW?” “SPs?” How about WTF? And just when we were all psyched to post the video here for you to enjoy, those pesky Churchies took it down, “due to a copyright claim by Church of Scientology International.” Creepy.

Oh wait – we just found it! Phew. So enjoy Tom’s maniacal laughing and dagger eyes, and just in case it gets zapped off the web again, here are some choice quotes from the video that chill our bones. If only Katie Holmes had seen this before she hopped on the spaceship.

  • “I won’t hesitate to put ethics in on someone else. Because I put it ruthlessly in on myself.”
  • “Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident… you know you have to do something about it because you know you’re the only one that can really help.”
  • “But that’s what drives me… I know that we have an opportunity to really help… effectively change people’s lives and I am dedicated to that. I am absolutely, uncompromisingly dedicated to that.”
  • “Look, I wish the world was a different place. I’d like to go on vacation and go and romp and play and just do that, you know what I mean. That’s what I want it to be. There’s times I’d like to do that, but I can’t because I know I have to do something about it.”
  • “I have to tell you something – it is rough and tumble, and it’s wild and wooly, and it’s a blast, it’s a blast, it really is fun because, dammit, there is nothing better than the going out there and fighting the fight and suddenly you see things are better.”

Tuesday is TechnoViking Day

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Screw American Gladiators. It’s all about TechnoViking. Our weekly Web Junk show recently showed a clip of the German street-rave kingpin strutting his stuff, and lots of people have been searching the site for it. We’ll go you one better. To celebrate the 25th anniversary rerelease of Michael Jackson‘s Thriller, here’s our our boy TV getting down Jacko style.

I didn’t realize it was possible to drink water in a macho way, did you? HEADS UP: the best action begins about a minute into the clip.

Tuesday: Nicole and Her Baby are Twins!

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nicolerichie.jpgKatie Holmes Only Answers Easy Questions
It’s not that she’s avoiding those Scientology questions, it’s just that it’s pretty hard to explain how she became pregnant with the sperm of a dead dude. Check out video of Katie talking like a zombie on Good Morning America HERE. [NYP]

Joel Madden Blogs About Baby
The new dad proudly reveals on his website that his new daughter “looks so much like her mom its crazy!” Ah right, because they both once weighed 7 pounds. [Us]

OMG! High School Musical 3 Is Happening!
The whole cast is back! It’s a feature film! Tween freakout!!! [People]

Eva’s Not Jumping on the Baby Bandwagon

Nope, she’s just gained ten pounds from eating so much while on strike. Finally, someone sets a good example in Hollywood. [People]

Ex-Manager Calls J. Lo “Unprofessional”
It’s a dumping whodunnit – J. Lo claims she gave her manager the boot on Friday, but his people dissed her and called her hubby “meddling.” Let’s just assume they’re all annoying and call it a day. [NYDN]

Akon Wants To Be Startin’ Somethin’

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Akon, the buff African-American superstar with the dulcet voice and penchant for, uh, escalating interactions between artist and audience, had the privilege of duetting with the Gloved One on “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” for Thriller 25, the anniversary edition of Michael Jackson‘s storied album. The record won’t be out until February 12th, but we’re streaming that track for you, here and now. And since we’ve had the privilege of listening to it, let’s just say that it’s a real duet, not one of those that stop with backing vocals added to the chorus. Between this and Rihanna‘s “Don’t Stop the Music,” the lyrics “Mama-se, mama-sa, ma-ma-koo-sa” have rarely had so much exposure.

Shay and Larissa Up in the Club

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Flavor of Love 2 / Charm School alumnae Shay “Buckeey” Johnson and Larissa “Bootz” Aurora recently took their reconciled friendship to a club in Columbus, Ohio. Via email, C Busted‘s Donna tells us what went down:

“So, Buckeey and Bootz…was up in the club in Columbus, OH drunk as hell! Buckeey actually fell down the steps, and the DJ said, “Nobody take a picture of Buckeey, she just fell down the stairs!” Of course, the cameras started flashing. They had the nerve to ask people not tot take pics of them, because they brought their own photographer…how cheap is that?”

Pretty cheap, but the photos are priceless. Check them out in the gallery below, and hit up C Busted for more.

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Blog Best-Of: K-Fed Knock-Off

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k-fed-drawing.jpg- Per a court artist’s rendering, is K-Fed sporting a faux-hawk or does he have a massive head wound. Or maybe the statement is that a faux-hawk is a massive head wound? [Dlisted]

- Zac Efron shops at Urban Outfitters. Suddenly, he seems so much more human! [Best Week Ever]

- DMX gets fined $1.5 for failing to show up to a court hearing. If only he’d taken a trip to Mexico with his paparazzo boyfriend, things could have turned out a lot differently. [Crunk + Disorderly]

- Lauryn Hill is rumored to be in tremendous debt. See what happens when you take 10 years to get off your ass to make your sophomore album, superstars? [A Hot Mess]