We just listened to the worst song ever created by humans, and want to share it with your precious ears. Listen to it here, but be warned, it is atrocious. But that’s also what makes it so effing enjoyable. The offenders? Heidi Montag and Britney mother-effing Spears! The song – which debuted this morning on Ryan Seacrest‘s radio show – is a duet between the two blonds, who sing some sort of garbage about a dude who deserves dumping. But Perez Hilton is reporting that while both ladies technically sing on the track, Britney never authorized the song’s release and knew nothing about it! His source says, “Heidi and Spencer got their hands on an old demo recording of Britney’s that never made it onto any of her albums…They decided to turn it into a duet instead of having Heidi re-record the song with just her vocals because they knew they’d get more press this way.”
There goes poor Brit, gettin’ used again. But we think this song is kind of a good thing for our troubled starlet, because compared to the tone-deaf Montag, she sounds AMAZING.
A French radio station played the first single from Madonna‘s new album Hard Candy on Friday and all the Interweb is reaping the benefit. Justin Timberlake and Timbaland co-produced “Four Minutes to Save the World.” Her Madgesty trades off verses with Timberlake, who is either doing a very passable Michael Jackson impression or demonstrating just how much love he has for Cee-Lo. The song is a straight-up dance-floor classic, with the sort of bounce and jiggle made for South Beach clubs. Guitars grind; drums pummel; and the synths . . . er, synth. The song means for you to get up and dance, and in that, it’s successful. Madonna sings “The road to heaven is paved with good intentions,” which isn’t exactly how we remember the saying going, but whatever. It’s loud, busy, grinding and full of energy. No word on whether the French DJ who leaked this is currently running for his life, but we suspect that might be the case. Until the song gets an official release, check it out here.
Britney Spears had a mini-meltdown recently after discovering that her photog-turned enabling boyfriend Adnan Ghalib was sending sexy text messages to another woman. While it’s not totally cheating, it sure ain’t cool, so Brit did the logical thing and chucked Adnan’s iPhone in her pool. Oh, she also dumped his ass. Apparently there were over a dozen of the digital love letters on his phone and were “pretty saucy stuff with sexual references — certainly not the sort you’d send to just a friend.”
We have to wonder, has Brit ever entertained the idea that the racy texts were not from another girl, but from her alter-ego, Crazy British Britney in a Pink Wig? Maybe if she had just looked at the phone she might have figured out what was really going on.
Crazy British Britney in a Pink Wig:Hello 2 my favorite bloke. I’m craving some figgy pudding – and yr hot body. ILY. Cheers! Adnan Ghalib:You’re so much sexier than regular Britney. I want to run my fingers thru yr wig and taste the Frappucino on your lips. Yummers! Crazy British Britney in a Pink Wig:Kinky! I’m driving rt now at 100 MPH. It gets me so hot when I do dangerous things. U make me want to run red lites.
Saaphyri Windsor, best known for winning Charm School and asking God to give her the strength to resist beating a bitch’s ass on Flavor of Love, is kicking the promotion of her Lip Chap line of lip balm into high gear. Above is the first commercial for the product — if you didn’t think that lip balm could be sexually charged, well, think again! The clip walks the line between hilarity and hotness, and in doing so, it’s able to speak to as wide an audience as possible (except for, I guess, pre-pubescent kids). It’s kitschy, but it’s also smart business.
As always, you can get Lip Chap (now available in 10 flavors) at Saaphyri.com.
Quite obviously it’s time to stump for your fave Democratic presidential hopeful. We know that Will.i.Am is down with Obama. The Black Eyed Pea has just dropped his second cool-ass clip full of famous friends. But Jack Nicholson has countered with a cool-ass clip of his own, full of famous footage. Click away. And tell us who you’re supporting.