Memo: To All Fans of The Office
From: Your Supervising Manager of Office Re-Caps for VH1.com
RE: The Effing Best Moments from Tonight’s Office Episode!!!
Below please find my favorite Office highlights of the evening. Kindly respond to this memo with your picks. Failure to reply will result in your termination from Office fan-ship, as well as a cancellation of our pizza order for today’s
Lunch Lanch Party.
1. Meredith’s crotch cast looked even better with Jim’s signature on it. But it appeared that he signed the name John Krasinksi on her pelvic armor. Just who the hell is that?
Sometimes you see something on the internet that leaves you speechless in a giggly, horrified way. This is one of those things. Watch this video. Then, watch it again. And again. Stare in awe at the sparkly unitard and silver ballet flats. Cringe at the mid-song robot jig. Marvel at the moment when her instrument becomes a gun as she acts out a “scene” from Star Wars. And most importantly, relax and enjoy the sweet off-key wail of her trumpet and smile, knowing that somewhere Stacey Hedger now has a clan of kids who know how to use YouTube. [via BWE]
Poor Bobby Brown! The former boy bander apparently suffered a mild heart attack yesterday, which his rep said was “attributed to stress and diet.” Oddly enough, Bobby went on the radio that day and denied the whole thing, saying “None of it’s true. I don’t know where the heart attack thing came from – I’m just fine.” Er…okay? Then why are there these pics of Bobby taken in the hospital, where he allegedly filmed a goodbye video to his family? Definitely looks fine to us!
So what could have caused his mysterious, possibly life-threatening ailment? His representative claimed stress and diet, so there must be something going on for Bobby to freak out over. I guess we’ll just have to figure it our on our own. Is it…
- More sexy pics of Bobbi Kristina popping up all over the internet?
- Osama Bin Laden coming after him and Whitney again?
- Superhead revealing more secrets about how she and Bobby didn’t sleep together?
- That he’s still stressed out about his decision to leave New Edition?
Then again, maybe Bobby’s just been eating too many donuts. [Getty]
Bobby Brown Artist Info
- Mary J. Blige talks about her new album in an online video. More crucially, without saying a word she answers the age-old question: “What happened to Tootie Ramsey’s hair?” [CONCRETELOOP]
- Lindsay Lohan and her new man go out shopping, but keep a distance between themselves. What, he can’t stand her already? Shocker! [Dlisted]
- Elizabeth Taylor is officially a crazy old lady. Finally, she’s found her calling. [CityRag]
- Beyoncé rocks a turban…in public! What is she, Gloria F***ing Swanson? [Crunk + Disorderly]
- Britney Spears‘ vagina is like the antithesis of a Pollack painting: the more you look at it, the less interesting it becomes. [Egotastic!]
You may have read in one of the tabloids that I’m going to fire you as my manager. I want to make sure you know that this is absolutely NOT TRUE! You’re an awesome manager – so what if Herbie Fully Loaded flopped. And that movie where I was the legless stripper didn’t do to well either, but hey, you’re still learning! I think you’re great at managing my career, and I look forward to working with you long after I leave rehab.
That being said, I am laying your ass off – as my mom. Seriously Dina (moving forward, I will be using your first name only) you effing suck at this mothering stuff! I mean – have you seen some of the outfits you let me leave the house in? And who said it was okay for me to date a 24-year old when I was like, 12? YOU! Mom, that was so crazy. So look. I’m done with you. I’m off to go track down Britney Spears’ mom and see if she wants a daughter who is actually successful. See you at the office.
Lindsay M. Lohan
Lindsay Lohan Photos
Lindsay Reveals All After Rehab
Lindsay’s Bizarre Family Vacation
Lindsay Breaks Up a Marriage
How many famous “Feists” are there? Which breed of dogs are “yappy”? What are some “hopes” that all teenagers share? Can you define the term “Jazz Hands”? You can’t answer any of these questions? C’mon, you need to put some Pop on your celly.
A decade ago VH1′s Pop-Up Video franchise wooed millions with its blend of cool music clips and odd-logic factoids. Now its back, designed to deliver info tidbits while you enjoy one of your fave artists. Feist‘s “1234,” Gwen‘s “Hollaback Girl,” Fall Out Boy‘s “Thnks fr th Mmrs” – there are plenty to choose from. The Beastie Boys will hip you to the philosophy of John Locke and Jay-Z will tell you about the loot made by lady pimps. Pop Up Video To Go – make your phone a bit more fun.
Usher‘s next album, the follow-up to his gazillion-selling 2004 disc Confessions, was set to drop later this year (you know, when every other artist in the history of recorded sound is set to release their new album in an attempt to cash in on the holiday-buying frenzy). However, word is that it’s been delayed till 2008. The official unofficial story is that Usher’s pregnant wife, Tameka Foster, has him whipped — she’s demanding that he cater to her and their coming child (due later this year) before he devotes himself to the necessary promotion of his album.
That a tidy tale that serves to further vilify Tameka (she’s already hated by fans), but what if the problem lies not in Tameka’s demands, but in Usher’s producer Jermaine Dupri?
This just might be the week the music industry changes forever. Fresh on the heels of Radiohead digitally releasing their seventh album, In Rainbows, and offering fans the chance to pay whatever they want for the download, Madonna is reportedly close to leaving her long-time home, Warner Brothers, to sign with Live Nation. If you’ve been to a stadium show any time recently, you’ll probably recognize Live Nation’s name — they’re a concert-promoting business, and they’re betting $100 million on Madonna’s power as a performer (the Material Girl gets half up front). It’s a solid bet: Her tour last year grossed about $195 million. Even if she’s pushing the big Five-O, Madonna’s still money in the bank. This will make her only the latest in a long string of artists to have bucked tradition in favor of something weirder and more dynamic. We refer you to:
- The Eagles (yes, we actually just wrote the words The Eagles in a VH1 blog) are selling their new album directly to Wal-Mart.
- Not only did Starbucks release Paul McCartney’s latest, the coffee conglomerate also seduced Sonic Youth. The New York art rockers, whose contract is up with Geffen, will release Hits Are For Squares exclusively through the beanery.
- Dissatisfied with simply forgiving Third World debt and editing Vanity Fair, Bono really is writing the Broadway musical version of Spider-Man.
- Rufus Wainwright wants to be Judy Garland, and he’s hellbent on making it happen.
- Gina Gershon released an album. Crazy times!
Get your tissues out, Hills fans, because here’s a depressing tidbit that wasn’t included in Monday night’s crapola cram session: The Hills is one big sexy pile of fake. Admit it – you already knew this but just couldn’t bring yourself to acknowledge the (fake) truth. Sadly, our fave reality show is as made up as Santa Claus – just in a pair of Ray Bans with a lovely Louis Vuitton bag. Check out these pics taken yesterday of Heidi and Spencer staging an airport drop off and pick up at LAX. They change shirts to make it look like two different occasions, but the rest of their outfits are exactly the same.
This should come as no surprise, especially when the show’s executive producer has basically revealed that the show is staged. But rest assured dear fans, everything Lo does is 100% real, baby! There’s nothing fake about the way she says “Justin Bobby” or flashes her crotch for the cameras. She can’t help but be real – real effing nuts. Team Lo(co)! [Getty]
The Hills Recap: Heidi’s in the Effing Office, Ya’ll!
The Hills’ Lauren & Audrina Strip Down
With news that Britney Spears‘ label has moved up the release of her much-anticipated fifth album Blackout, the Internets are ablaze with suspected album covers. Given the amount of speculation and Britney’s recent struggles, we put together a few of our own suggestions and invite you to do the same. E-mail creations to firstname.lastname@example.org, and we’ll add submissions to this post as they are received.
From the Internet:
None of these take into consideration that her album title (which refers to “blocking out negativity and embracing life fully” according to her record label) may go down as the most ironic in the history of recorded music, given the star’s stints in rehab and her rumored drug and alcohol addiction.
We’re thinking the album title has more to do with what she does each evening, or what she’s done to the unburned photographs in the family album. Regardless of the title, we’re still thinking it’ll do better than “Popozao.”
From the VH1 Blog:
From our readers:
Britney’s Most Shocking Moments
Box Set: Britney Spears
Brit Wants a Slumber Party with her Babies
Britney Loses Her Kids
Britney Bombs on the VMAs