In an unfortunate turn of events, poor Danny Noriega (whose spin on “Tainted Love” last night was horrid) is appearing all over the Internets in a video (see above). In the 30-second clip, recorded some unspecified time ago, Noriega sings “We wish you a merry Christmas” before lapsing into vulgarity and insults. Specifically, he says he hopes that Santa rapes your mom. And so ends Mr. Noriega’s 14th minute. Tune into American Idol on Thursday night to see whether or not Simon and company will finish Noriega’s chance at stardom permanently.
Rolling Stone tells us that The Stooges are going to be saluting their Motor City sister Madonna at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies next Monday night, March 10. (VH1 Classic is airing the entire show live at 8:30 pm.). Crazy, right? But crazy is good. What Madge track would you like to see Iggy and the boys rip apart? Let’s assume it isn’t “Papa Don’t Preach” and let’s hope it’s “Into The Groove.” And if you really want to be a dreamer, imagine a world where the Material Lady has a bit too much bubbly, heaves her yoga pad in the corner, and jumps on stage to help the boys ramrod through “Real Cool Time.”
Other heroes will celebrate their forebears, too. Damien Rice (read a classic interview here) will salute Leonard Cohen, James Cotton will evoke Little Walter, and Gamble & Huff will get a tip of the hat from Patti LaBelle. Watch videos by some of the inductees.
Who are you psyched to see?
Damn! K-Fed Got K-Fat
Brit’s ex has gotten big in the belly. Maybe he should take one of her dance classes and get in shape? [Us]
Scarlett Plays House with Ryan Reynolds
The hot couple are taking things to the next level and shacking up together. Think Woody Allen’s jealous? [NYDN]
Heidi Montag’s Step-Brother Dies in Freak Accident
It’s the first real thing to happen to the “star” in ages. Our condolences. [Us]
Jessica Drops Cash on Vegas Condo
Simpson splurged on a fancy Vegas condo, and you can check out the pics. We’ll now be avoiding Sin City at all costs! [Us]
Did Mary-Kate Try to Fix her Face?
Either the twin’s had surgery, or she’s scrunching her face up in a really weird way. [Cityrag]
What makes a rock star? Rock of Love‘s Bret Michaels attempts to answer that particular age-old question in the clip above. Here, the Poison frontman is entertained by two lovely strippers . . . er, women, who disrobe as they read the constitution of the United States. Then they dance with hula-hoops. And they say that the country suffers from a lack of civic pride. While that might be the case, we’re sure as hell not hurting for rock-star moments.
When next we meet our girls, there’s a lot of soul-searching and inner-questioning going on. Ilisa begins the episode wondering why she hasn’t yet been eliminated.
In today’s installment, Rock of Love’s Bret Michaels takes a few of his ladies out for a romantic, low-lit dinner. Actually, dinner’s totally in the dark. Hidden by the darkness, Bret takes the time to sample a few of the delicacies that aren’t on the menu. Is that very rock star of him? Depends on how you like your rock stars — slathered in saliva or sitting down politely with good table manners.
At last, the moment old-school fans have been waiting for: Salt-N-Pepa’s return to the recording studio. But first!
Because nothing says hip-hop like…breathing exercises.
There’s been a whole lot of neon in pop culture lately. First, Kanye West collaborated with Daft Punk on “Stronger,” made a video that combined the look of Akira with the narrative of Guns N’ Roses’ “Estranged,” and then showed up to the Grammys wearing a jacket that was literally so flashy it was designed to light up. Then Rihanna – who will appear on Kanye’s Glow in the Dark Tour — played the Brit Awards fronting new-rave darlings the Klaxons. Now comes French DJ duo Justice‘s new video (for “DVNO,” above). It’s the best video we’ve seen since the last time Justice released a video (for “D.A.N.C.E.”). Enjoy the outer-spaciness, kids. After the jump, watch Rihanna playing “Umbrella” at a rave that looks like it was thrown by wayward cast members from Tron.
Well, it was bound to happen — people in public walks of life just seem to have trouble keeping their pants on. This year’s crop of Idol contestants is no exception. Consider David Hernandez. The 24-year-old Arizona native used to strip for his supper, according to Gordy Bryan, the Phoenix-area manager of Dick’s Cabaret. The Associated Press reports Hernandez appeared “fully nude and performing lap dances for the club’s ‘mostly male’ clientele.” It isn’t clear if there will be repercussions for the contestant from Fox, but Hernandez was apparently entertaining the troops as recently as last September. (It’s worth keeping in mind that season two’s Frenchie Davis was disqualified because of some semi-nude photos she’d shot for an adult Web site.) It’s good to know he’s got a fall-back career, should the whole Idol thing not pan out.
In other news, Celebtv.com is reporting that racy-ish, lesbian-ish photos of Ramiele Malubay have surfaced on the Internets. The photos feature Malubay touching another woman’s fully clothed breast, and lying on a bed (again, fully clothed). All this compels us to introduce Celebtv.com to the difference between a mountain and a molehill: One is large, the other is small, and Ramiele Malubay, at least for the moment, is neither.
Lots of photos simply beg for a narrative. Whether it’s nasty or silly is up to you — we want you to feel free to read the minds of the celebs and weirdos in our images. Write your caption for the below photo in our comments section. Extra points for creativity! This time: Zandra Rhodes shows off a new line, or Phyllis Diller attends Elton John‘s Oscars party. What have you got to say about it?