Fox’s annual circus hit TV town last week, and yep, after a couple of nights, there were plenty of entertaining entries on the screen. To get down the road on American Idol, certain rules must be followed, and certain faux-pases must be avoided. Here’s part of the list. You know who the characters are, right?
Do: Tell the producers a great back story that might land you one of those “down on the farm” segments where we see you frolicking with your son/daughter/pets/tractor. The sadder, the better.
Don’t: Have your back story be tied to a bag of nail clippings, your “Star Wars” fetish, a stalker routine, an ability to make funny noises or a “wacky” original song about abstinence. Speaking of chastity, though never-been-kissed virgin Bruce Dickson and his lock-and-key necklace told a tale so bizarrely endearing the striking Writers Guild of America should investigate whether he had some help with it, we recommend a little less sharing next time.
Do: Try to stand out in front of the judges by wearing something interesting, (slightly) provocative, flattering or, failing that, bland enough that it doesn’t distract them from your singing.
Don’t: Shop at the costume shop, paint your face, wear a Cowell-esque top that exposes so much of your chest that Simon and Randy lose their focus, attach anything resembling tin foil to your body or have your shirt signed by your “supporters.” And, for the love of God, if you can’t see your feet, don’t wear a Princess Leia costume, even if you are manscaped. Nobody needs to see that.
Check tonight’s show and come back tomorrow for our weekly recap.
As you may have noticed, the Sundance Film Festival is ongoing right now — the annual Park City celebrity meeting ground, where films are bought, sold, distributed and traded. We’re checking in with a variety of up-and-comers to see how they’re spending their time. Today’s dispatch is from actor Jason Ritter, who you might remember from 2005′s Happy Endings. Ritter’s there for the films, and optimistically predicts another golden age for film, if 2007 was any indication. Read on, aspiring filmmakers.
VH1: What are you bringing to the festival?
Jason Ritter: I’m here promoting two movies, The Deal and Good Dick. The Deal is about a couple of producers, played by Meg Ryan and William H. Macy, trying to make a movie in Hollywood. They’re scamming everyone. I play an idealistic screenwriter who gets screwed over by the Hollywood system.
Katie Holmes‘ amazingly resilient boobs WERE too good to be true! We knew even a robot couldn’t withstand running 26.2 miles in that flimsy top. Anonymous internet sleuths have been attempting to unravel an possible NYC marathon conspiracy, which alleges that Katie Holmes did not run the entire race. Their proof?
- Katie’s choice of runner-unfriendly clothing, obvi.
- Her two trainers ran alongside her – one ran unregistered but wore a bib from 2003 and a tracking chip, and the other man, registered, ran the exact same split times as Katie, which many believe is impossible.
- Trainer Wesley Okerson‘s mom reports that her son did indeed run the entire race with Katie, but we’re not so sure if that clears things up. Though she allegedly ran with her bodyguards the whole time, pics have surfaced of Wesley running the thing with Katie nowhere in sight. And there are no images of her running the race until the very end. Did she jump in for the last mile?
Not to knock the importance of this case, but aren’t there greater Kate-spiracies to worry about? We’re more desperate to know what’s she always hiding with those giant sunglasses, what baby factory she and Tom bought Suri from, and why they’re always laughing at nothing like a pair of crazies.
Another day, another name for Diddy. The artist formerly known as P. Diddy, Puff Daddy, and J. Lo’s boyfriend has decided to go by Sean John, his birth name, for the foreseeable future. “I have always evolved and taken a different name each time. Right now I want to be Sean John because that’s where I am right now,” said the remix inventor, according to the Daily Star. So what could this mean for the many-monikered rapper? A new album? Another cologne? Sean John might be preparing his new image for his brand new reality television show.
In the grand tradition of impromptu balladry (Jonathan Richman, Adam Sandler), a dude has concocted a folkie ode to his hero. Because his hero is the best QB around, and because the best QB’s team is heading for the Superbowl, the ode is now news (if you define news as wonderful nonsense that eats up the minutes of your day). Please learn the words to the ode, develop your own man-crush on the best QB, and bet lots of loot on the triumph of New England. Oh, and send to a friend as well.
If you’re looking for a similar feel, don’t forget the passion between Andy Samburg and Dr. Evil.
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Here’s a new Amy Winehouse home video to brighten your day. In it, the singer continues her Self Destruction 2008 Tour by smoking from a crack pipe and talking about how she just took six Valium. The whole thing is recorded by a friend who then sold the video to the British tabloid The Sun, which should be a lesson to all you famous crackheads out there. If a pal is taping you inhaling/snorting/injecting/smoking/eating drugs, tell them to shut that sh*t off! Learn something from Amy Winehouse – something other than just drugs being bad, obvs. [The Sun]
It’s tough for celebs and arts journalists to rise and shine so early, but once a year duty calls and newfound fame awaits. The Oscar nominations took place in L.A. this morning, and the usual suspects made it to the “Best Picture” category. Atonement, Juno, Michael Clayton, No Country For Old Men, and There Will Be Blood are all vying for the top prize.
Our Critics Choice Awards, which prides itself on “predicting” the Oscar noms, came damn close to clocking 100% with their Best Actress list last month. Cate Blanchett, Julie Christie, Marion Cotillard, Ellen Page, and Laura Linney are all part of the Big O list.
The swagger of the actors’ list is staggering. George Clooney, Daniel Day-Lewis, Johnny Depp, Vigo Mortensen, and Tommy Lee Jones are up for the parts.
You’ll be needing to devour the entire list. Go ahead and dig in, and check our CCA site for great red carpet pics, film clips, and fun features.
Sundance Film Festival Filled with D-Listers
Kim Kardashian, Nicky Hilton and Nicole Eggert from Charles in Charge class up Robert Redford’s once hip film fest. [NYP]
Kiefer Sutherland Back on the Streets
Jack is back from the clink to save America – but without 24 on the tube this year, how can he really help us? [People]
Brad Renfro Remembered at Funeral
The actor was honored by family members and friends at a service in his hometown. RIP. [Us]
Denise Richards Wants Tacky Reality Show for her Fam
The ‘actress’ is fighting with ex Charlie Sheen to allow their two daughters to appear in the reality show she is pitching. World, meet the next Dina Lohan! [Ok!]
Paris Talks BritBrit: She’s a “sweet girl!”
Expert Paris Hilton dished on Britney and Nicole at Sundance, shocking the world by not talking about herself for 30 seconds straight. [Us]
Everything you need to know about this episode (and everything you need to know about everything, for that matter) is here:
Adrianne and Chris are back! They’re still fighting, but they’re still in love – thanks to counseling twice a week. Isn’t married life amazing?