Bush Not Worthy of Brolin

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Instead of letting us block out the political nightmare of the last eight years, Oliver Stone has decided to preserve the memories forever on celluloid. W (pronounced Dub-ya) is set to hit theaters in 2009 and Josh Brolin plays Mr. President. While his performance was awesome in No Country for Old Men, we’re thinking the W casting director was a bit overzealous.

We feel that this fellow would be capable of a much more accurate portrayal.

Sex and the Scariest Lingerie Ever

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A British lingerie company used four Sex and the City “lookalikes” to launch their new lingerie line, and the result is effing scary (both the models and the skanky underwear). We’re pretty sure Carrie Bradshaw would rather wear Easy Spirit shoes than go out with a frosted Shirley Temple hairdo like the one modeled above. As for the lingerie: normally we LOVE zebra print unitards with the sides cut out, but the blue bows kinda ruin it. Right? [Getty]

Lindsay’s Top 5 Career-Saving Products

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Earlier today we told you about La Lohan‘s latest career move, but it turns out the rehabbed starlet is doing more to expand the Lohan brand: the constantly legging’d actress is designing her own line of leggings. “I’m doing my own leggings line! But it’s a secret. It will be a while before it comes out, but I’m going to do it. I love leggings,” Lohan reportedly said at a party at her home.

While we agree leggings are a good bet for Linz, why stop there? Here are a few more products Lindsay could shill that are close to her heart.

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LiLo Tan-n-Go
— For the girl on the go, you have to show up everywhere looking orange, but who has the time between rehab and arrests? With this handy spray bottle, you’ve got time to tan before the cop reaches your car after pulling you over!

Camouflage Vodka
— Did your recent rehab sob story land you on the cover of every magazine from here to Italian Vogue, proclaiming sobriety? That career resurrection not going so well and you need a drink? Hit the clubs with this trusty water bottle, and no one will be the wiser. Looks like Poland, tastes like regret.

Scowl Training
— A foundering career, parents who should be committed, a drug problem and a little sister who looks like she’s heading down the same path you’re on: that’s a lot for a girl to handle. But how do you let the paparazzi know how you’re feeling? Simple: Scowl.

Coke Pants
– When you’re caught driving around high out of your mind, you need an additional set of pants to support your “Those aren’t my pants” excuse to the cops.

Lesbian Companionship — When you’re burning emotional bridges left and right, it’s best to have that one friend who’ll always stick by you. Rumors of a sexual relationship have buzzed around Lindsay and Samantha since they first started hanging out, but as yet, no confirmation of a relationship. Nothing says “edgy” like lesbian-DJ-hipster-BFF.

Kim Kardashian: Yes, I Zapped My Cellulite!

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Kimmie K. is speaking out about being spotted getting a cellulite treatment in Los Angeles, and she’s owning it! The whole thing was just part of her beauty regimen (which included laser hair removal and some serious workin’ out) to prepare for a sexy photoshoot. The pleasing pics were a one-year anniversary present for her boyfriend Reggie Bush – and damn, did Kim deliver! In terms of the rumor that she was takin’ care of her butt business because of that cottage cheese diss Paris Hilton delivered, Kim had this to say:

Well of course that is not the case! This treatment was done months before her joking around and I wouldn’t have filmed the process if this was something I was insecure or embarrassed about! I work out extremely hard and am happy with my shape… cellulite, not so much!

Wow – she’s honest, confident and kinda funny. Who knew? Kim – 1, Paris – 0. Enjoy more of Kim’s campy pics HERE on her website. [OfficalKimKardashian]

Idolville: Top 5 Weak-Ass Moments

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American Idol is roaring towards its conclusion (the show clocked its biggest voting numbers last night) and this week the remaining four contestants tried to amp it up to win over the audience. Except that, even with the breadth of the songbook on offer this week (songs from the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame), the two Davids, Jason, and Syesha pretty much gave limp performances. Who fumbled hardest? Hard to say. Let’s count down last night’s top five weakest moments:

5. Steely Dan Salute
The show’s group performances are always an uphill battle, but as the competition wears on, these segments seem to get worse and worse. The fab four tried their hand at Steely Dan’s “Reelin’ in the Years,” and eradicated hopes anyone might have had about the formation of an Idol super-group. The vocals were passable. What killed this thing were the clunky attempts at dancing. You could call it synchronized walking, ‘cept it wasn’t all that synchronized.

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Shouldn’t Brit Look This Good Every Day?

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Hey Britney,

Listen up. You look REALLY good in this video clip from your second stint on How I Met Your Mother. We’re talking pre-Federline good. Now that’s something! So could you please hire whoever is styling you on set and bring them home to your Beverly Hills lair and pay them loads of cash to help you look this good as you parade to the dance studio everyday? Trust us – this is the best advice you’ve gotten since your parents told you to get rid of Sam Lutfi, and your hair will look infinitely better than it does now.

Please?

Lohan’s New Song: Listen at Your Own Risk

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We have no idea why LiLo continues to insist on having a singing career. It’s not like she’s actually very good at singing, nor does she have any fans. So basically the whole thing is glorified karaoke, done solely to massage Lindsay’s ego. Fine. But couldn’t she have at least picked a better song to drop from her new album? Listen to her new track “Bossy” and let us know if you’re down with the tune or think it’s rough on the ears. Ne-Yo wrote the track, and described it as “a song for Lindsay Lohan that people were gonna take seriously.”Seriously? We think not.

I Love Money Cast Reveal: Day Four – The Ladies of Rock of Love 1

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I Love Money is a new reality show coming this summer that pits cast members of Flavor of Love, Rock of Love and I Love New York against each other in the pursuit of a $250,000 grand prize. We’re officially revealing the cast each day. Check out this week’s reveals here, here and here, and check below for today’s batch, the women of Rock of Love, Season 1 starting with:

Heather

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Gossip Break: Wino Wants to Go to Jail

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wino.jpgWhoops, Wino did it again. That crack habit just keeps getting her in trouble with the police. [DListed]

Kelly Osbourne looks really hot when she’s plastered and unable to walk. [Seriously? OMG!]

Christina Milian says Nick Cannon‘s a big ol’ cheater. [I'mNotObsessed]

Madonna brought a female fan on-stage last night and kissed her, which is like the tamest thing she’s done in years. Not shocked! [CelebSlam]

Britney wore a dress from 2001 to Jamie-Lynn‘s baby shower. But at least she’s smiling! [ICYDK]

Barbara Walters and Star Jones are feuding; and no one under 80 cares. [Us]

Tila Tequila’s Team Gobbles Pig Vaginas

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Here’s a list of the top five most awesomely bad moments of episode 3 of A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila 2.

1. CHAD CAN’T FETCH A BALL

For the second year in a row, Tila Tequila split her wooers by sex and made the two groups face off in a “bi-athalon.” Among the athletic challenges, contestants were forced to dip their heads into an inflatable pool and use their mouths to pick up balls with symbols corresponding to their sex. Chad should have had an advantage in this exercise of fetching, considering that he has the brain power and disposition of a dog. But he couldn’t find the correct ball and began to bite the side of the pool out of frustration. In the meantime, the girls ate away at the boys’ lead and then won the challenge. Chad claimed later that the “snot rockets” floating in the pool prevented him from completing the task. But we’re talking about a guy whose idea of fun is to raise his legs over his head in bed and pass gas. Chad could probably bath in snot without being phased. Could it be that he doesn’t know the difference between a male and female symbol?

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