Paris Hilton Can’t Believe Her Eyes

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Well, thank god Paris has finally figured out how the magic of baby-making works. The heiress divulged the deets on a weepy sleepover she had at Nicole’s mom’s house, with the new mama and her little girl Harlow. She said (presumably in her best baby voice), “I was crying when I saw her. She looks like a miniature version of Nicole and Joel. I am so happy for them.”

Is Paris so sheltered that she’s just now realized that babies look like the two people who come together to create them? And from what’s she’s describing, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have created the fugliest baby known to mankind bloggerkind. Check out our artistic interpretation of Paris’ description. Who do you think Harlow Madden looks more like – Mommy or Daddy? [Page Six]

No One Cares About Christina’s Baby

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christina_baby.jpgPoor Christina Aguilera. Apparently people like her tunes but are totally turned off when her tanned and dyed mug is plastered on a magazine cover. The singer has been in talks with OK! magazine to sell pics of her and her new baby Max, but plans have stalled after she wasn’t offered the cover. Gasp! An insider says, “The OK! wedding cover didn’t sell as well as they hoped, and even her recent Marie Claire cover underperformed, all things considered.” Yup, the only people who care about Christina are,well, just Christina. A different source revealed that “Christina has an inflated sense of her own value and seems to expect an extortionate amount of money for these baby pictures.”

We have seven dollars in our wallet, that should cover the cost! But the money drama may not be the only thing stopping the pics from being published. A pal of Christina’s alleges that the baby might not be “ready for prime time.” We can only assume this means his hair isn’t the appropriate shade of platinum blond and he keeps smudging his red lipstick. Poor little Max – isn’t he beautiful no matter what Mommy says? [MSNBC]

American Idol Day 6: Simon Turns Vicious

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Auditions: Miami

After a disappointing day in Omaha, the American Idol judges headed to Miami, where the warm weather seemed to ratchet up the energy and give Idol some of the juice it has been lacking. Simon was the real star of last night’s auditions, delivering some of the choicest, strangest, and cruelest rejections we’ve heard all season, a welcome return to form for the curmudgeonly Brit.

Let’s review, shall we, the destruction:

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Super Bowl Sunday: Commercialville

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There are those who watch the Super Bowl because they’ve got lotsa $$$$$ riding on it. There are those who watch the Super Bowl because it’s a chance to slurp beer and wolf Doritos. There are those who watch the Super Bowl because the fierce competition of sports and brutish grace of football are addicting. And then there are those who watch the Super Bowl for the cool-ass commercials. Several of us are in the latter bunch (though we have slurped beer on a Sunday now and then). To prep for this weekend’s clash between the Patriots and the Giants, we decided to corral a few recent classics. From the devilish office antics of Robert Goulet to the airport wand-job of Kathy Griffin and Michael Ian Black to the return of MC Hammer to the Vulcan salutation of Leonard Nimoy, there have been some pips. Come back tomorrow, we’ll be showing some of this weekend’s entries.

What’s your favorite Super Bowl commercial?


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Thursday: Madonna Makes More Money Than You

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madonna.jpgMichelle Kicked Out Heath Cuz of His Drug Habit
Apparently the actor was tormented by an addiction that ended his relationship. Sigh – isn’t this story already sad enough? [NY Post]

Madonna is the Richest Mama in Music
The Material Girl makes the most money of all women in music, raking in $72 million last year. According to the Forbes list, Britney brought up the rear in 14th place. Here’s to women with fake British accents! [Us]

Avril Lavigne Wants You to Stink Like Her
Avs is about to follow the lead of every other lady singer and create her own perfume. Isn’t smelling good the opposite of punk? [DListed]

Paris Gets Hot n’ Heavy with Elisha Cuthbert
Nothing like a little girl-on-girl action to remind the world that Paris is still as annoying and attention-hungry as ever. [Us]
Hulk Hogan Endorses Obama for Prez
Finally the presidential campaign is relevant. Thanks Hulk. [TMZ]

Britney Hospitalized & On Psychiatric Hold

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It happened again late last night: Britney Spears was shuttled to the hospital – this time to UCLA Medical Center – in an ambulance surrounded by police and paparazzi. Fortunately things went down differently for the pop princess’ second hospital stint, dare we even say calmly. Brit’s new psychiatrist set off the chain of events, which had apparently been planned for days, after he determined that her behavior was reckless (driving around like a lunatic in a pink wig) and deteriorating (not sleeping since Saturday. Saturday!!!). He called the police and paramedics, who knew of the plan beforehand and referred to Britney in code, calling her “The Package.” Britney was extremely calm during the entire thing, making herself hot chocolate and waiting in silence. Her mom, however, apparently freaked out, and there is allegedly major tension between the family and Sam Lutfi, who orchestrated the whole event. Also on the scene: cousin Alli Sims, an aunt, Britney’s did Jamie, and her bizarre paparazzi-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib.

Britney is now currently at the hospital (where she’s been allowed smoking breaks) under a 72-hour hold, and could be kept as long as 14 days. There’s allegedly some drama between her family and Sam over who gets to make the medical decisions for Brit, as she had her lawyers draft up papers after her last hospital stint that puts Lutfi in charge of her medical decisions. Apparently Brit’s dad blew up at Sam and accused him of trying to control Brit’s life.

Check out the above video of the scene as Britney was taken away from her house to the hospital late last night. Apparently the line of police and medical vehicles “stretched longer than a football field.” Only the best for America’s pop princess. [LA Times/TMZ/Us]

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The Best Infomercial in the World. Ever.

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We here at the VH1 Blog can’t stop watching this infomercial for the Hawaii Chair, the exercise machine that takes the “work out of your work out” by combining the Hula with a motorized chair. They prove it’s alleged simplicity by touting the tasks you’ll be able to do easily while your hips and ass rotate at 50 MPH; things like typing at the computer, filing, and talking on the phone. Well Ellen Degeneres has called their bullsh*t, and it’s almost as funny as the original video. Take a look at her attempting to interview Charm School host Mo’Nique while they both spin in their Hawaii Chairs. [via Jezebel]

Tyra Banks To Rule Magazine Biz, World

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Only one of us can be America’s Next Top Media Mogul, and Tyra Banks is determined to win that title. The model-turned-dream-crusher-turned-Oprah-wannabe has begun working on her latest TV venture, a reality competition about the magazine business, of which she knows nothing about. Sure she’s been in a billion magazines, but you know, I’ve been in a lot of skyscrapers, yet you don’t see me trying to build one. “It is a competition show about aspiring assistants looking to become assistant editors at a fashion magazine,” says Tyra BFF/executive producer Ken Mok. “At the same time they’re trying to prove themselves as aspiring fashionistas, that they have a sense of style and savvy – all the things to make it in the fashion world.”

Hurray! More skinny girls crying and fighting over who ate whose food. Riveting, surely. Next thing we know Tyra will go from making a show about the biz, to naming a magazine after herself. There’s no stopping the genius (or the ego) of Tyra Banks. [Reuters]

Bart Simpson Gives Scientology $10 Million

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Well, not Bart Simpson exactly (though wouldn’t that just be precious?!), but the woman behind the voice of America’s adorable cartoon troublemaker, Nancy Cartwright. The vocal talent, who apparently makes $250,000 per Simpsons episode, donated $10 million dollars to the Church of Scientology, of which she is a longtime member. Her contribution was put toward their creepy “Global Salvage” movement, the goal of which is “to rid mankind of psychology ills and other “aberrant behavior.”

Way to go, Nancy! She also beat out other uber-famous Scientologists with her donation. Tom “Demon Eyes” Cruise and Jenny Craig hawker Kirstie Alley gave a measly $5 million each, while John Travolta and his wife Kelly Preston plopped down $1 million a piece. We can only imagine what kid of good deeds that cash is being used for, but we welcome a couple Gs thrown our way to rid us of our taco-addicted ills and aberrant habit of not wearing designer jeans. [Page Six]

Come Into Flav’s House

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Welcome to a tour of the Flavor of Love 3 house! Note that it’s actually the same house used in the first two seasons (fun fact: contrary to popular belief, this house has only been used for Flavor of Love – the first season of I Love New York and Charm School were shot at different locations). But, you know, the decor has changed from how it was during Flavor of Love 2 (dig the safari motif!) so that’s something, right?

Below, you’ll find shots taken all over the house. I was able to visit the set during the first night of filming and let me tell you that TV sets do not do this place justice: touring the mansion was like being swallowed (and sometimes regurgitated) by a cartoon. I also got witness some of the filming, especially the naming ceremony, which has a twist this time around. It took about an hour for Flav and the girls to agree upon their names and if only that was aired, it’d make for a completely entertaining hour of television. It seriously seems like an amazing batch of girls this time around.

Before they even entered the house, Flav gave the girls a stern talking to, asking them to be on their best behavior since, “this is Flavor of Love, not Flavor of Hate.” See if the ladies are up for the challenge when Flavor of Love 3 premieres Monday, February 11 at 9/8c.

Common areas:

Exterior:

Bedrooms:

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